Very nice Sarge!!

Good for you!

You look great Sarge!

Looken good BS !!

Gawd, even the men are swooning... and not without good reason!

Yes, superglue in the ear can mess with one's equilibrium.

So wait, you're ALL putting super glue in your ears now? Fellas, this isn't the new cellar meme.

Great pic, Sarge.

WHAT???

Great, now you tell us...

You *are* looking good Sarge, but wow, all this time I thought you were a man. :blush:

RF last week sometime. Dont laugh... :redface:

ugh. it displayed upright until it posted. wtf. sorry.

Let me set you straight.

Attachment 37626

There! I've made a f-i-n-e upright citizen of you.

Thanks V.
E you look lovely as always.

Too late to make the "straight" joke ... can I still call you a cross-dresser?

I looked at your pic, Ibram, and I thought you were standing next to a counter. I wondered what all those tiny bottles were. Then I realized that was the floor and they're beer bottles or something. :lol:

That haircut is cute on you, Ibs.

Ok this is going to sound very creepy. Ibs, I find you "attractive" and that isn't an easy thing to admit

Ibs looks a lot like an old girlfriend of mine.

Thanks clod and sarge and sundae! and i guess I'll take that as a compliment too, foot! It's still a work in progress, and the lack of clarity in the photo helps soften my features a little more than in real life, but I've found an informed-consent clinic here in town, and I'm going to work on getting hormone replacement therapy asap, which'll soften my features more, and slowly redistribute my fat into a more feminine shape. not to mention make my tits grow.

Small unsolicited tip: you can get your eyebrows waxed even before you get hormones. It'll change your facial appearance more than you realize.

Or go the whole hog and have 'eyebrow sculpting' done. Same thing with a few extras like trimming and plucking. Might help to get a really nice shape happening.

What's the reception at Greenbergs been? I sorta can't really wrap my head around most of the folks there having any idea what you are all about. (I know that's shooting fish in a barrel, but still.)

I haven't worked up the nerve to even get a more feminine haircut yet, let alone get my eyebrows done. I know I need it. It's just a matter of working myself up to it.


I moved to Burlington in January. I was never out at Greenberg's. I didn't - can't - really hide my flamboyance or, well, fagginess, but it went mostly un-acknowledged, if it was noticed much at all. But I definitely gave nothing by way of alternate gender presentation at work. Until I came up here - where I'm passing (attempting to pass) full time - it was strictly an after-hours, closeted matter.

edit: that's not quite true. I wore bras and padded my chest a few days at work... but under all the layers and my baggy uniform sweatshirt, nobody could tell, and I certainly didn't volunteer it. I absolutely trust that all my coworkers would have been at the very least grudgingly tolerant, because personal respect, i think, would have trumped misunderstanding or bigotry... but some of the clientele, well, I suspect there would've been complaints. I had to settle for secretly enjoying every "ma'am-sir-ma'am".

I feel like I've been, at risk of sounding hubristic, pretty brave about being out, here in burlington. I've only introduced myself to my roommates as Erika, and I've corrected pronoun issues where they've come up (but not as often as a couple of my roommates have corrected pronoun issues on my behalf to the landlord who doesnt quite get it), and i'm even out in classes, even though of course I had to correct the teachers the first time they took roll. But on the other hand, I'm not brave enough yet to correct cashiers or waiters or, y'know, strangers. On one hand it's not a big deal, why should I care if they think I'm a guy, it doesn't affect how they do their jobs... but on the other, it's important to ME. One of these days I hope my pride and my strength of identity will be enough that I'll stand up for myself better... but in the meantime, the fact that I'm sure the eyebrow-groomers or hair-cutters or whatever would read me as male irrationally scares me enough to make me keep putting it off.

No way Ib. It's totally acceptable for blokey blokes to wax bits of their eyebrows. I do my boys between the brows even, and you couldn't get less gay than them (well you probably could, but you know what I mean). Any salon you go into will be happy to do it for you. Just pick one with lots of funky looking chicks who're probably more used to alternative lifestyle choices.

On the other note, I think lots of things will get a lot easier for you as people get used to seeing the new you. It'll just take a bit of time, but it sounds like it's going pretty well for you so far. :)

Ib, your post shows you are doing just fine. It gives me full confidence in you.

See that's the thing - I know it's completely irrational. It would've been easier for me to get them done before i came out. There's no good reason for it, I'm just... for want of a better word, shy, about actually going.

Ibs ... as an Italian who sported a unibrow for many years.

I've been agreeing! I know I need to just do it. But that's like telling a reluctant bungee jumper "just do it!" - yes, that's HOW you get it done, but first you have to work up the courage to do it, or turn that part of your brain off. I so far have managed neither.

Can you camp it up (still further, if you see what I mean) and simply pretend you are someone else? this looks like a really naff suggestion out there on the screen, given that you are changing your identity and other people's perceptions of you permanently over time, but can you push it right over into full-on acting to just get the waxing done?
Or am I bonkers. Does that simply look like drivel as an idea?

@Ibs - I hear ya.
Didn't mean to offend, just thought a cool T-Shirt might help.

If my reluctance came out of being worried about how they perceive me as a person, that might work... I dunno if that sounds like it would work for me, though. Maybe for other people in the same situation.

I do wonder if part of it comes from the fact that acknowledging or "showing" how much work us trans* ladies have to put into feminizing is inherently un-passing and embarrassing. The idea of admitting that my eyebrows aren't naturally femme enough - even though SO MANY other women's aren't either! - is too defeminizing, not in how i'm perceived but in how I feel.

Not offended, mate. I know you're trying to help ;)

Listen sister, if you think all this beauty the rest of us chicks display comes easily, you've got another think coming. lol

That's kinda what I'm saying, though. It doesn't make sense to hold myself to a higher standard of what i'm allowed to do to look how I want to look, but somehow I feel like I have to.

@ Ali - Bwahahahahaaaaaaaa

You're in another world now Ibs. Trust me, most women hold themselves to a higher standard than other women do. Of course, we're all full of shit, but that's how a woman works. Just go with it. ;)

eta: we're just talking about a little wax here anyway. Have you ever noticed how much hair some european women have that needs removing? Trust me, you're nowhere near as hairy as lots of women.

Incidentally, I felt like a dick the first time I decided to get my brows waxed. I thought they'd all be laughing at me because i had no idea how to ask for what I wanted.

Turns out they weren't, but our minds are not very kind to us at times. give it a good slap and get on with it. ;)

eta: if that's part of your problem, I suggest finding a picture of how you want your brows to look and then just give it to the girl and tell her that's what you want. :)

oh jeez. I have NO idea how they should look, either. I was just gonna go in and say make my eyebrows pretty and as feminizing as possible. I dont even know how I'm gonna get my hair cut - im going to go in and ask what they think they can do with it that'll feminize me.

Maybe you could employ a little humour and just walk in and say, "here's my head. Make it look like it belongs to a girl!" :D

I know this isn't exactly a rfn pic, but it is on topic.

What do you think, Ibram? I saw this recently and I thought of you. I found it helpful.
Attachment 37668

Yup. Pretty basic and incomplete but thats the gist of it.

I liked the lines indicating the "location" of each term.

just pluck them Ib. After you shower. take out a few each time until you get the look you want. Never pluck above the brow. Well maybe. but only once you're a pro at the rest of it

Here's a guide

http://www.howtoshapeeyebrows.net/

As for the hair, decide if there are any bits you care about (bangs/no bangs, behind the ear or no, feminine/masculine.......) then tell them "I need something new. this is what I care about, beyond that you're the professional and I trust you". It's worked fine for me and my daughter many times. Mine is usually "I need it shorter, a few bangs, shaped round the ears, no shaving the neckline, no wedges and beyond that be as feminine as you can -maybe textured on top -you make the call on that". I'm so easy ;). And for my (swimmer) daughter it's "make it look as thick and long as you can while still having a "style" -you're the professional, we trust you" It's OK to say these sort of things.

I loved Burlington. I lived there in the early 80s. wow.

Have fun, ibs.

This is how it is in many fields of employment (especially male-dominated ones) for women even now. We have to work harder and be better in order to think we are being seen as "as good as" the guys. Mind you quite often we are held to that standard by our colleagues - and it sucks.
I saw a great 70s US made-for-tv movie about a woman who wanted to be a sports writer but kept getting turned down at interview until she cross-dressed as a man (beard and all): then she got the job of her dreams but had to keep up the pretence. What was very revealing was how being a man made so many more things easier for her - getting attention in any service-giving establishment, walking home late at night etc. You're going to have to give a lot of that up in becoming a woman.

ETA: it looks like Jim's done your right eyebrow for you!

Ibby, I was nervous too, my first time. I recommend you find a gg to go with you the first time. After that, it isn't nearly so scary. I know exactly how you feel, entering genuine female territory for the first time.

I find that it is best to go to a salon that offers a package deal. Start with a massage to loosen tension, then a mani/pedi for the pampering. By the time they go to shape and wax your brows (which look fine by the way) you'll be totally relaxed and comfortable.

call me if you need moral support.

This tickled me because around here all the waxing places are staffed by Asian women who don't even speak English and could not care less who you are. They are done in 3 minutes and get the shape perfect every time.

rfn

Hi Spexx! I see you're open? We can just come on in? :)

You look to be a gentle soul.

Infinite Monkey, come on dooooowwwwwn!

:)

Hey Spex. Lookin good.

Hey Spex. I think this is the first time I've seen you.

Really? We don't have that here yet. Only with the nail and pedicure places. They're mostly owned and run by Vietnamese people. I don't mind too much that they don't speak much English in general because usually I just want to sit there and relax anyway. When I'm sitting in that vibrating chair with my feet in warm bubbling water, the last thing I want to do is remember what sort of day it was that led me there. lol

Here, the nail and pedicure places are the waxing places too. Regular salons only do hair cutting (top-of-the-head hair, that is.) A full spa will do waxing, facials, nails, hair, the whole deal, but those are all-day experiences and priced accordingly.

Thank you, Infi.
Thanks big boy. Buy me a drink?
I posted my mug not too long ago. Oh well.

Hmmm...interesting. Over here, most hair salons will do at least facial waxing and sometimes legs and pits - although not as many as there used to be.

Mostly if you want bikini line and more you need to go to a beautician, although I did see my very first salon dedicated only to waxing a week or so ago. I went in to have my legs done. In the end I wasn't overly impressed. For one thing I ended up with a blood blister on my shin, and there are quite a few stray hairs left. Admittedly, the blood blister may have been caused because I'm pregnant. Higher blood flow and all that, but still, the chick was really talking herself up, so I expected better.

Spexx, I do love those glasses, btw.

I guess you have 'connections' eh? ;)

They look a little like Ronsirs

Yup. They're my everyday glasses, but I'm Jonesing for a new look, so I have 2 more in the pipeline.
A Modern look alike. It's a classic look.