Sunlight?
Ahahahahahaha.....

No.

Awww, there may be a bit.

You're just jaded because you're an Otley girl now.

And then there are people called Creg, I just assumed the guy's name was Craig, but no...

Creg.


What are they orcs?

Is not jade.
Is mould.

He's an orthopedic surgeon

I lied, I've been here in Derby all week. Someone should have noticed from my posting times. Do you think I'd be awake at 4:30 in the Ante fucking Meridiam if it weren't required for my continuing employment? I just didn't want to say until I'm due home, because you people would ransack my shithole rental and steal all my string. I know you.

But it's not really necessary. For fun, I set up a cheap burglar alarm. I have an expensive one that the landlord pays for, but that won't show me who has broken in. Here’s another idea.

I have a Logitech webcam, and it has a motion detection setup where it will start recording to a file when it detects motion.

I configured it to save these videos to my Google Drive.

Then I used this page:

http://www.jellybend.com/2012/12/19/...e-apps-script/

...to set up a Google Docs spreadsheet to monitor the folder where these videos are saved. (Why a spreadsheet: Google has put a nice system of notifications where you can be notified of changes to a spreadsheet. Some clever dude hacked it to include changes to any top-level folder on your Google Drive.)

Bottom line: anything moving in my rooms is recorded, and I am sent an email of the videos.

This is good not just for burglars and ne’er-do-wells, but if there is a roof leak worse than the current one, and infrastructure tumbles or something. Of course if there’s a tornado, the FIOS link and electricity will probably be off before the damage is done. Battery backups are for the real alarm system.

But the down side:

I've been sent 44 videos so far. Whenever the sun goes behind clouds, it changes the image enough for the software to believe there is motion.

This part is to our Brits.

Americans now understand and are amused by sarcastic humor. In fact our culture is now full of it, and we practice it often.

We were not as familiar with sarcasm during the war. Our culture had to grow and expand; before modern times our communication was very sincere and direct, so we didn’t get it back then. I think most cultures have to go through that, to reach a level of sophisticated subtlety with speech. You were nicely ahead of the game and frankly superior with the language you invented. You still are, but America has reached the level where Chandler Bing can be one of the most popular characters written for television.

I know that many stereotypes die hard, but as long as you are going to continue to complain about the sorry nature of our sense of humor, we are going to persist in our outdated belief that you all say “pip pip” and “cheerio”. Which I believe you haven’t done since the 40s.

I say this because I wrote a sarcastic funny email to my boss and showed it to some of my Derby colleagues, and one of them wondered whether he’d get the humor in it, since after all, he is American. I was actually proud of that. An American WROTE the email but mate, you didn't think of that because you are accepting him as one of you. I have achieved my goal of being "half-caste" this week. (and I would be delighted if someone called me that while I'm here)

I guess you did okay with the jet leg, then?

Indeed so full of it, and so often, that at my tender age I had never even known there was a stereotype of non-sarcastic Americans. Our humor is different, no doubt, but I would have labeled us as low-brow or juvenile long before I imagined us to be non-sarcastic. Chyeah.

So post some pictures already.

The idea that Americans don't appreciate sarcasm or irony came to me from American writers. I didn't know enough Americans to know any different.

Then I came here and realised that there is a real cultural difference between Britain and America, but humour has never been in question. I don't expect everyone to share my sense of humour. Even my nearest and dearest only overlap in what we find funny, and I love my father very much but it is rare we laugh at the same things. Finding the same things funny - laughing until you can barely speak - is rare and precious.

I just think the more people you get together, the lower the common denominator is. I don't know if that works mathematically :)
I just seems that stupidity multiplies better than intelligence.
So the bigger the population, the more it has to cater for the masses, and the less the masses expect.
Individual Americans are super-smart, or can be.
The American great unwashed is the same as the great unwashed everywhere, it's just more of them have tv sets than elsewhere.

Anyway.
So.
Where are the photos again.

Wow! It's almost like you have IT expertise. ;):D

Photos of my visit. Really. OK.

http://cellar.org/2014/derby-aircond.jpg

The air conditioner in my hotel room

http://cellar.org/2014/derby-lift.jpg

These are the buttons in the hotel elevator lift. Spot the error. I find it a feature of Britain, not a bug, that the nation is not really all that detail-oriented.

http://cellar.org/2014/derby-socks.jpg

My dirty socks on the dirty carpet of my hotel room. I'm very, very sorry for this shot.