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-   -   What is the whiniest, most horrible song EVER? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=25038)

infinite monkey 04-29-2011 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 728771)
Have we had that banshee wail from The Bodyguard yet?


AIIiiiiAAAIiiiiiiiiAAAAiiiii ... willl allllwaaaayyyiiyyyss luuuurrrvveee youououuooooouuuuuuu!!!!!1

Yes, Sundae mentioned Miss Dolly over Whitney!

(That movie belongs in "what is the whiniest most horrible movie EVER?" thread that I have not yet created. Ghost. Titanic. Kill. Me. Now.)

:bolt:

infinite monkey 04-29-2011 09:37 AM

PETE! Arghhhhhhhh. No I'd never heard that song.

But then, written by Rupert Holmes...there's a song I hate. Pina Coladas. I hate coconut. And "boohoooo my love doesn't pay me any attention anymore so I'm going to cheat on him/her before I break up or try to work it out because I'm just so saaaaaaadddddd. Oh look it's YOU. How sweet. I'm glad you loved me so much you were going to cheat on me and it ended up we're both cheaters who really like each other. We should get married. Guaranteed to last a year and a half."

Oh sorry. Just had to get that off my chest. :lol:

Undertoad 04-29-2011 11:05 AM

I met the lead singer of the Buoys a few years back. He was still proud of having a hit single.

casimendocina 04-29-2011 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 728827)
I met the lead singer of the Buoys a few years back. He was still proud of having a hit single.

Phil Collins would have to feel the same about his "contribution".

And adding Sinead O'Connor's Nothing compares to you to the list.

infinite monkey 04-29-2011 11:40 AM

Phil Collins? Like him or not, he is hardly a one-hit wonder.

Hey, there was a Phil who used to be here who also hated Phil Collins!

Me, I hate infinite Collins.

Ibby 04-29-2011 12:09 PM

10cc's Waterfall might not be the worst EVER, but its probably the worst case i can think of where a good band goes bad, at least.

DanaC 04-29-2011 02:50 PM

The redone version of Candle in the Wind.

Undertoad 04-29-2011 04:54 PM

Quote:

Waterfall
I have the 10cc catalog pretty much committed to memory, as well as all of Godley & Creme's works, AND the early "Neanderthal Man" single...

...fuck me the greatest name-dropping moment of my life is that I sold an actual, original Gizmo to Marty Willson-Piper of the Church...

...but I have never bothered to get or even listen to "Waterfall".

Nirvana 04-29-2011 05:21 PM

Post 64 before someone got to Sinead O Connor? WTF :eyebrow:

casimendocina 05-01-2011 12:00 AM

"I can't dance" was fun.

Anyone seen the book: I hate myself and want to die: the 50 most depressing songs you've ever heard?

It has a synopsis of a lot of the songs mentioned in the thread-almost as good as a stand-up comedy gig so well worth the $5.00 charged at the local newsagent about a year ago.

Jill 05-02-2011 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 728494)

But anyway, they're also all part of one same category, which is "60s-70s hit singles in which a major character in the song dies."

Billy, Don't Be a Hero (who dies: Billy)
Casey Jones (who dies: Casey Jones)
Leader of the Pack (who dies: Jimmy, apparently the Leader of the Pack)
Run, Joey, Run (who dies: in an ironic twist, not Joey, but his preggers whore girlfriend)
The Night Chicago Died (who dies: hoodlum gang members, a hundred cops... but not dad!)
Indian Reservation (who dies: Cherokee people, Cherokee tribe)
Seasons in the Sun (who dies: singer, listener)

But they really crossed over the line when the animals started to get it:

Wildfire (who dies: Wildfire; and, you might have missed it, Wildfire's owner)
Shannon (who dies: Shannon; and the lyrics don't say it, but they are about a dog)

But it wasn't enough to get just the animals, oh no, they had to get the imaginary mythical creatures too.

Puff, the Magic Dragon (who dies: Puff, the Magic Dragon. Honest.)

This wins the funniest post in the thread!

HI GRACE!!

Urbane Guerrilla 05-02-2011 11:03 PM

Not so Honest. The lyrics linked only state that Puff was very very saddened about it. Reclusive is about as far as he was said to go.

Plenty of bummersongs in this thread, though. Some through sorrow, some through being utterly uninspired, like that Alanis Morrisette thank-you-thank-you thing on the first page. Ain't even clicking that YouTube window. That thing was dreadful enough to just hear. I wouldn't want to involve my eyeballs too.

ZenGum 05-03-2011 01:00 AM

True.

"Dragons live forever, but no so little boys."

I've heard a dirty version of Puff the Magic Dragon. All the words are the same, but with a little timing and tone it becomes filthy.

Dragons live forever, but not so ........ little boys
Dragons wings and painted .... rings ... make way for other ..... toys.

The real worry was that the person who sang it was a school teacher. :eek: It was not sung in a school, though!

Juniper 05-03-2011 01:11 AM


monster 05-03-2011 08:39 AM

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
with a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
and you my friend will see
you've got a friend in me....

bring in the strings.......

whiny wail

...you feel that you're not wanted anywhere.....
...most people would turn you away....

about a fucking rat?

and they wonder why he went nutso


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