My favorite 8 ball story from elsewhere:

Outlook not so good. - Wow. That magic 8 ball is smart. Let's see what it says about Excel. :p

Mr 8 Ball,
What is the best food item to bring to a pot luck and why?

Obviously, it excels. duh.

Access, on the other hand, rarely does.

Magic 8 ball: the HR director has let insurance salesmen set up shop in our breakroom, and is enticing people into their grasp with the lure of free pizza. I'm torn between my absolute lust for free pizza and my aversion to listening to an insurance pitch.

so, is it appropriate to fart in the break room really loudly to drive the salespeople away in order to get no-strings-attached pizza?

that depends on which kind of insurance they are selling and what firm they are from.

Mr. 8 ball, Sir, will that lady ever pay me for my paintings?

Magic 8 ball: if i am alone in the woods and i say something, am i still wrong?

A fresh fruit platter. Everyone else is going to bring some mayo/carb based dish, or else they'll forget and hit KFC for a bucket o'.

In the midst of the piled mass of tuna hotdish and mac salad, your fruit platter will shine forth like a shining beacon of bright shining goodness.

We should take our lead from Kant, who says that we should only act on those impulses which we would be willing to have made universal laws.

Would the world be a better place if everyone passed gass in the breakroom? Clearly, it would.

Gas on, pizza boy, gass on.

She will not, but her excuses for why she can't pay will get progressively more far-fetched and entertaining. By the time she gets to the one where the yard monkeys car-jack her riding mower and drive through old town chicago yelling obscenities and stealing mopeds, thus causing her bank to freeze her assets, you may consider yourself repaid in laughter. Pure 24 karat gold laughter, only less exchangeable for goods and services.

words without context are valueless.

So you're saying if he were married he'd still be wrong?

or more wrong.

just because i'm wrong doesn't mean i'm not right!;)

he thought he was wrong once , but he was mistakned .