wow, sorry cissy. that's pretty harsh. I wish i had some wisdom i could share about this kind of thing, but i don't. I can, however, give you a big virtual hug.

:::::::::::::::HUG:::::::::::::::::


aw, you got snot on my shirt. that's ok...I got it....I have one of those tide sticks in the car.

Practically everybody I know has gone back to the nest for a period at some point between the ages 25 and 50.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Seriously though, I'm sorry you are facing this now. It sucks. If it were me, I'd probably head home for a while.

Aw, I'm sorry ciccy, that's just plain shitty. Kick him in the cunt for me on your way out eh?
Go home, it's too cold there anyway.

Oh ffs. Cic, I'm so sorry. You girl, you are awesome and you will come out even better on the other side, but I'm so sorry you're hurting right now.

Double kick him in the cunt, one for jinx and one for me. Oh hell, I'm sure we're not the only ones, go ahead and kick him in the cunt about 5 thousand times.

Though I never actually moved back in with the 'rents, they were there for me when I needed them and that, my dear, is the warmest feeling in the world. I knew I could go there if I needed to.

Love you girl. Keep talking to us, if it helps.

Oh, Cic... -big hugs- I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I'm thinking of you and praying for you... I wish there was something I could do or say to help, but I don't think there is. Just know that I'm sending good thoughts and prayers your way, and if you want me to help you look for housing on Craigslist, just let me know; I'm always online when I'm not at work anyways, and it wouldn't be any trouble at all. Just let me know what area of New Mexico to search, honey. Best of luck.

Mum's in hospital overnight on anti-biotics and all-night observation. She has advanced cellulitis, caught slightly before it turned into septicemia (sp?).

She was complaining last night about an insect bite on her finger. When I spoke to her this morning she said it had swollen up quite badly. I'd suggested seeing her doctor, but she wanted to see how it was over the weekend and go next week if it didnt clear. When she dropped Pilau back at my house this evening, she showed me and her forefinger, half her hand and thumb were swollen up like a balloon. Bright red and angry looking.

I said to her she should go down to the infirmary, but she really didnt want to. In the end I shouted at her (felt guilt about that, but when I spoked to her later she hadnt remembered me doing so. I said to her, it could be serious. Then she shows me a red line starting to track up her arm under the skin. I said she had to at least go down the road and get our Jen's advice (she's a nurse) because if its tracking up the arm that sounds like it could be really bad and end up with blood poisoning or something.

Anyway she left her dog with me and off she went, where Jen, my brother and the two girls insisted in no uncertain terms that she was going to the infirmary. Martin and Jen were on the way out, so the girls went in the car with Ma down to A&E. (this was about 9:30pm)

My eldest niece phoned me around 11.30 to say she was being kept in overnight, and my brother was on his way back home to gather up stuff to take to her in hospital and pick the girls up. ..A further phone call revealed that she may be in for a couple of days.

Apparently had she left it for the weekend she would have ended up with septicemia and things could have got very nasty, very fast. Whilst she was waiting to be seen she phoned me and said that the single red line which had reached a few centimetres past her wrist had extended halfway up her arm and two new tracks had started to run up as well...in half an hour.

I felt so sorry for her. She just wanted to go home and settle for the night and instead she had to go do all that. Apparently she was a little spaced out. 'Meels said she seemed like she didnt know what to do with herself and a little in shock. They'd all expected to come home armed with a bottle of anti-biotics.

It's really bothering me that she must have been scared when the reality of the situation kicked in and she realised that she had something serious (though very treatable).

So sorry to hear that Cic. Don't bother kicking him in the cunt, just stick some nice cut up fish in the furnace vents, pee on the mattress, flush about 20 tampons down the toilets, then pack your stuff and hit the road. Now is a time to be with people you can trust to love you. If there is nothing major holding you to the city there is no reason to stay. Regardless of your choice remember the cellar is not just for abuse, but also support. A few of us have been through the divorce blender and come out the other side - don't be afraid to vent or ask advice.

Dana - tell your mom I'm sorry about her fingur.

Cicero: OMG. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I can't tell you what to do; and I know how hard it must be to think and make decisions right now.

Be glad you have a family that's willing to help you out, tho I can't say if that is the best thing. Because you are having health problems ( and btw, what kind of a dick does that to a wife facing such things?) maybe it would be better to stick around for a while to keep appts and such.

Oh, crap, that just sucks. :(

This god damn thread is depressing.

Cic, we and your puppy still love you.
I have to agree moving home sucks, but you need to be with people that care about you and will provide the support you need right now. Unfortunately, we can't give you that kind of hands on, up close and personal, kind of support. But we got moral support, galore, so don't lose touch with your friends, ok? :grouphug:


Dana, take good care of the old girl. Lord knows she's earned it, having to carry the burden of a socialist, rabble rousing, daughter. :p

you forgot communist - bruce

:grouphug: for Cicero. Don't be harsh on yourself for the fact that this has spun you out some. That is only to be expected.

If it weren't for the medical appointments I'd say hit the road within a week. Regardless of timing, I think heading back to your family is the best plan. It'll give you a few months to stabilise, take stock, think about what you want to do next. Best wishes for you.

Dana: do not feel bad about shouting at your mum. You probably saved her from losing her hand, if not worse.

I'm so sorry, Cicero. Great advice given so far. You'll be in my thoughts, wish I could help more. :(

That SUCKS Big Time Cic !!!!
Go home , regroup , Cuss Kick Cry !!!!!!



Then get on with it !!!

Peace and strength, Cicero. It's a tough situation but you can make it - and remember, you have a lot of good Cellar juju to help.

I'm so sorry Cic. Going home might be good for your soul.

Dana, that sounds like when my sister cut her hand and left it.
She wouldn't listen to anyone though - she even went against the advice of the hospital who wanted to admit her immediately because she had to get the kids home and give them their tea or some such non-life threatening thing.

It's scary how close other people can come to very serious repercussions (L was 2? 3? nights in hospital and could also have lost her hand) for the sake of a little TLC. Me, I rush off to get everything looked at these days and am told politely but definitely, "No, there's nothing we can do, time will heal this..."

Really sorry that your Mum's been spooked by this. My very best wishes to her.

I'm home, and through phase 1 of the revelation - Mum now knows I'm out of work. Phase 2 comes when I ask to move back home. I'm going to give that at least another week - part cowardice and part so she believes I have seriously considered my options. I have, but Mum would think I haven't had time yet if I mentioned it now. I developed this two pronged approach on the train here today. Ahem.

*smiles* You sound like you've developed a refined strategy for parent management :P

Talking of which...

Went to see mum, first around lunchtime and then again this evening. She was quite perky, if a little spacecake, but was prettyu convinced she'd be coming home tonight (i might point out she was absolutely alone in this conviction). They'd talked about seeing how she was after 24 hours, but that would have taken her to midnight, so we spoke to the nurse and they got a doctor to come look.

Given her hand still looks like a foam hand at a football match, and she keeps going very hot...and the red lines are still there, it wasn't a huge surprise to the rest of us that she's going nowhere tonight:P


They're keeping her in the observation ward again tonight and they'll see how she is tomorrow...she may end up doing a few nights.

The nurse that came to see her earlier told her that in the days before antibiotics, those fingers of red reaching up the arms or legs were known as the 'lines of death', the precursor to the end, from there into the heart, from the heart to the entire body, organ failure and death to follow in short order. God bless antibiotics.

So, I am at mum's house still. She meanwhile seems to have relaxed into the situation and is resting up. She's paid £5 for 24 hours access to the satellite tv that swings in over the bed and has headphones. We left her settling down to watch X-Factor. :)

[eta] also, you know there's always that little niggle with hospitals and doctors that they may miss something...well, I read on wiki that if cellulitis isn't properly treated it can appear to go then stay in the system and reoccur weeks, months or even years later. So, I was really relieved to hear the doctor explain to mum that one of the reasons she isn't going home is that if they don't get on top of it properly it can come back.

The guy who had the cross burned in his yard just had a stroke.:thepain:

Good luck with Mom Dana.

It sounds like your mom is in good hands, Dana. My hand always looks like the foam hands, because I'm number 1!!! Just kidding.....I bet it's a huge relief she'll be home in a matter of days. Poor thing. I hope they are giving her the good stuff. :)

And of course, thanks guys for being cool about my complaints lately. You guys are awesome for taking this crap from me! ;) Piss. Moan....Piss moan..bluuurgh. I'm hoping to hit the lottery tonight, and I can buy the cellar, and me an island. I'll fly you all in on my private jetz. Heck, even UT is invited. ;)

At least I'm still crazy.

You can take my pride, but you can't take my crazy, 'tis mine, and I love it!!

You guys are neat-o. Thanks. :)

I haven't received a pay slip, meaning my money won't be through until at least next Wednesday (the Finance Officer only works Monday to Wednesday and BACs takes 3 days to clear.

If the money was in today (as I really hoped, checking my account before the post arrived) I was going to go home. Mia is fine and I'm missing Diz badly. I wasn't too worried that the money wasn't there, thinking that she must have processed it on Wednesday instead. But if she had, I would have received the slip today - the post came and it wasn't there.

This means waiting til Sunday and borrowing money off Mum & Dad for my fare home. They already left me some money to buy food (because they run down their stocks when they're going away). I wanted to repay that, not ask for more - I'm not 15!

And that means my poor babba will be home alone for over a week - I feel awful. I came here on the understanding that as soon as they received my letter of resignation and keys, I would be paid (they confirmed receipt on Tuesday). I can only assume that it needs authorisation and is waiting on someone's desk. There's no point calling, the Finance Officer is the only one who can put it through and she is not there. Sigh. My poor parents, having such a fuck up as a daughter.

All I can do is make sure the place is spotless when they get back, apologise and assure them that this is not money disappearing into a black hole. I should try to find a job too (well I have been looking of course, I mean I should be applying). It just seemed a little forward when I hadn't officially asked if I could move back in.

Oh, and I have a coldsore coming, with no medication in the house and no money to buy any. That's what comes of fretting and worrying all day!

For the record, I have been out and about a lot - going down to walk by the (admittedly small and man-made) lake and around the park. I have been keeping regular hours and sleeping well. It doesn't sound like much, but last week I was staying awake til 03.00 or 04.00 - really not good for me.

Sorry to be such a moaner. Writing it down puts it in perspective a bit for me.

I am sure your parents would be quite upset to hear you say they have a fuck-up for a daughter. They love you.

When I was going through my really bad times, I expressed about the same to my mom. My brothers are all doing well (older bro had some hard times but is just amazing now...successful and happy, younger bro has just always had it going on) and my mom, a strong person, showed the sadness on her face, that I felt that way. She told me how much they love me, and some wonderful things about being her daughter and her partner in crime concerning artistic and political sensibilities.

You are a human, who is going through a rough time. You are coping, though it might not feel that way to you all the time. Don't be your own worst enemy.

It's going to feel so good to you when you come out on the other side. In the meantime, absolutely you should write exactly how you feel, here where you feel safe to do so. But you know there are those of us who are going to say "yeah, but you DON'T suck!" :)

Great post Shawnee...I second it.

I third it. Chin up, SG... you're loved, both by your family and your friends here on the Cellar. We don't think you're a fuck-up... and we're very proud of you for soldiering on. You can do this. And we're all cheering for you. :)

I fourth that post and if you pm me the right address I'll post you some Zovirax (brand new, unused tube).

Thanks, friends.

Good news tonight was that Mum called and asked me to do her a favour (which was no trouble at all of course). While on the phone she said Dad & her had had a talk and sorted things out... then backtracked quickly and said that they had some ideas about things I might want to think about. Her next sentence was saying they'd been through the Bucks Herald and the Bucks Free Press (two local papers, they're house-sitting about 20 miles away) so I'm pretty sure their talk was whether they could take their wayward daughter back into the fold. Both those papers have job sections and rentals. I have a feeling they'll offer to fund me to move in with someone (ie pay my deposit and first month's rent). I'd rather hold out for an invite home, so I can have a settled life pattern first (eating, sleeping working) while also contributing to the household. Then I can think about independence. Also if I'm here they can do more house-sitting without paying for the Mia cat to go into a cattery (which reduces their profits down to almost zero). They keep the heating and lights on timer when they're away anyway - fear of pipes bursting and thieves - so I can really help. Can you tell I've been rehearsing this justification to myself?

Mum also asked if I had enough money to be getting by on. Not that this is a super-good thing, because I get so much love and support from them and they have never had much money, but just because it shows she doesn't see it the same way I do - that I am mercilessly scalping my beloved parents.

Thanks for the offer Limey, thanks very much. To be honest the sore came up yesterday and is now full-blown - by the time I get your tube it'll (I hope) be in remission. It's ugly and sore, but I can deal with that. Keep it for your next outbreak (although here's hoping that doesn't happen!) those things are expensive!

Thanks again folks. I will have some good news one day. I am not a natural disaster.

Umm. I'm all out of single malt? :o

SG, it's a pity you aren't on this side of the pond. There's a LOT of places around here for rent at really reasonable prices... and the cabin that I'm renting from Ted has enough room for an extra person (and critters!) if you wanted some stability/pattern before going all indie on us :P

I'm moving into case's downstairs apartment. Someone should let her know....;)

It was the stove, wasn't it?

Oh hai. Didn't uh see you there...:) lol! Yes, it was the stove, and all that furniture I can just make. I need a good sturdy twin bed. ;)

My lil girl is very sick... high fever, vomiting, lethargic, etc... and has been up crying since four a.m. despite being cuddled, rocked, kissed, loved on, and generally made much of. I'm not sure how to make it better. And to top it off, I found out today that my uncle Mervin died Tuesday... and no one thought to tell me about it, let alone that the funeral was yesterday. Because I would have liked to go and pay my last respects. G*ddamnit.

Alternate doses of baby tylenol and motrin, cool cloths on her head and neck, Pedialyte in her bottle. If she shows signs of dehydration, time to go to the doctor ASAP. Might not be a bad idea regardless.

So sorry about your uncle. Wonder why they didn't think to tell you?

Juni, I'm doing the Tylenol/motrin/cool clothes thing. I'll go pick up pedialyte. Is it ok to use the store brand?

And my parents didn't tell me because they pretty much refuse to talk to me unless it's to remind me to pay my student loan (which comes directly out of my paycheck) or to pull something like this. "Oh, by the way, your uncle Mervin died. I just got back from the funeral late last night."

Yes. Store-brand items can often be lower-quality knockoffs, but there's a solid baseline you can't go below with medications. Like maybe it won't taste as good as the brand-name stuff, but legally it will have all the medical ingredients it needs.

My tired lazy ass today. I have so much stuff to do. I want to go back to bed....oooh!

Who's got the good drugs ay? Cicero. Get up. Move soldier!!! Moooove iiiiit!

bleeergh...

Thank you, Clod. Good info to know.

Cicero: motivation... -tosses a lit stick of dynamite under your chair- You got thirty seconds :D

Writer's block. Writing smut should not be this difficult!!!

"Dear Penthouse,
I was sitting at my computer, trying to overcome the worst case of writer's block I've ever had. I was interrupted by the doorbell . . . . "

That would be a great first post for a thread. But I ain't gonna be the one to do it.

on the way home from picking the kids up I realised I'm exhausted.

The reason I came to this realisation is because I started crying when someone wouldn't let me in in heavy traffic on the highway.

What a sook. I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

Large list of errands to run today, managed to get the kids up and ready and out the door, everything was looking peachy--and then Minifob started projectile vomiting all over the car. No errands today then...

Mmmm. Peachy vomit. :vomitblu:

Lack of vacation is making me upset today. I am definitely "in the hole" for next year. I would be happy to take some time no-pay, but my employer frowns on that.

Received bad news on an old friend who has been fighting esophageal cancer. He will probably not be in this world much longer. He's a father, a husband, a drummer, and a generally all around good soul.

Eh, I can't make sense of this world, I guess. :(

:comfort: Shawnee.

That's because this world makes no sense Shawnee. My heart goes out to you, him, family and friends.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Shawnee. Somewhere, Osama bin Laden is still alive, and your friend is dying.

Proof that the world is neither logical nor kind. Be strong.

I'm sorry Shawnee. :( You know I have ears if you ever wanna talk about it. ::hugs::

His family needs you, and it's good to give them support right now if they need it. ;) Even if it's just monetary.

Keep the chin up girl, and try not to dwell on it too much. There are things that will never make sense, and you can just try your best to move through them as gracefully as possible.

And if you keep making that sour face I will be forced to tickle the Shaw! ;) Just kidding...PM me if you need anything.

That sucks, Shawnee. sorry.

Thanks guys.

He is a guy who has been in a couple bands with my ex...notably a band that was pretty popular around here for years. He married a woman I happened to know from my childhood, then later as a young adult...then we reconnected. His oldest daughter graduated last year from the place I used to work, his youngest just got married. I'm glad he was there for those milestones...though he couldn't actually be there for the graduation because he was going through some pretty intense treatment. He's just an all around good guy, and no one gets this turn of events. He didn't smoke, but this is the same kind of cancer that took his father a few years ago.

I'll always think of him drumming and singing "Here comes Johnny singin' oldies, goldies
Be-bop-a-lula, baby what I say..."

Ach Shawnee, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. The unfairness of it all must be upsetting.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Shawnee... :( -sends comforting hugs-

I am currently on crutches, a knee immobilizer, and oxycodone. Somehow, during dance practice on Sunday, I blew out my right knee. Not sure what I did... it started aching a little bit so I went and sat down to rest... next thing I know, I couldn't move it and was screaming in pain. So I've gotta make an appointment with an orthopedist at some point soon... and chances are because of the downtime I need to heal up, I'll be losing my (WONDERFUL) new job that I absolutely love. -sighs- Some days, I really dislike being me.

Oh crap, Trea! PAINFUL.

My senior year of HS basketball, I came down from a rebound and felt my knee give. The quack I went to swore it was leeegamints, and there wasn't much they could do. At a dance my freshman year of college, I boogied a litttle too far to the side, apparently, and my knee totally locked up. Went home and got a knee immobilizer and crutches and spent half my first quarter of college hoofin' it to class via crutches. There was NO putting weight on that leg, or bending it. It was fun when my crutches hit a wet leaf and I went sprawling. Turns out my meniscus had been torn, and when dancing had basically curled up. They took it out over thanksgiving break...except for a few reminders here and there it's done pretty well.

Hope it feels better. One thing...they gave me NO painkillers back then. The bastards. Had to rely on beer!

-laughs- I suggested beer to Ted... he about deafened me hollering about the horrors of mixing oxycodone and alcohol. Thing was, I was only teasing him a bit... I'd never be THAT!! incredibly stupid. He took two days off of work to spoil me and watch the kidlet for me... he's such a sweetheart! Today he went back to work and I'm hobbling around on crutches trying to figure out how to use the crutches and carry the baby at the same time. Not working so well.

Remind me again, what it is you do for a living Trease? Is there no way you could continue your job on crutches?

I take care of the pets for sale at PetSmart... involves lots of lifting, carrying, shoving, pulling, pushing, kneeling, etc., so no... I wouldn't really be able to do it on crutches. Or with an immobilizer, although I could get away with it if I didn't have to have the crutches.

Anxiety attacks. loads of fun. Not major emergency room visit style, but heavy weight on the chest, nausea, heart racing, completely overwhelmed style. yeah loving it. I know in a few hours it'll be over and I'll still be alive and kicking but it sucks.

Most of my clients listened to me and made what I felt were appropriate portfolio changes last fall/winter. Some didn't. I made them sign statements pointing out they were ignoring my best advice so I won't get sued or anything but I still get to face these people and explain in stomach churning detail why they have half the money today that they did last year.

To make matters worse, the people I have to see in an hour and a half were warned they were withdrawing too much too soon even before the market downturn. They have about a 15% chance of not outliving their money now. Will it matter that I warned them and asked for action a long time ago? No. Not at all. I'm still the piece of shit that lost their money. I'm the evil guy who they'll blame when they can't afford to do something they want for the next 30 fucking years.

It won't matter that I sat them down and explained in painful detail what needed to change, how to cut expenses, how to minimize risk, and even showed them that the changes I was begging for would result in lowered income for me... I will still be the devil incarnate when they talk to friends and family. When they consider going back to work. When they talk to the other families on the block who have been doing business with me for years.

Pardon me while I go puke again.

*shakes head* that sucks right royally, Lookout.

I know it's frustrating, but you know you did right by them. Try not to think too much about what they're saying to other people. This is the nature of the business you are in; if your advice is taken and money is made, your clients will pat themselves on the back for their financial acumen (i.e they chose a good advisor :P) on the other hand if your advice is not taken or money is not made, you are a handy scapegoat for their own sense of panic and inadequacy.

It sucks, but it is the way that it is, and probably has always been so. It is an unfortunate fact of business that happy customers tell far fewer people about their joy than unhappy customers tell of their dismay. But that doesn't mean they don't tell anyone. You no doubt have clients who've done pretty well by you. They may not tell as many people as the dickheads who ignored your advice (for which they were paying, which is totally bizarre. Why buy advice that you are just going to ignore?) but the next time a friend is considering their investments, they may well drop them your details.

If the dickheads are teling people who've been doing business with you for years then the likelihood is that the experience they relate to those people will be entirely at odds with those people's own experience of doing business with you. They may wonder a little, they may even feel their friend has been hard done by...but most people need a fairly compelling reason to change service providers in any area of life.

This post probably wasn't much help to you...in essence you could boil it down to one sentence: don't let the bastards grind you down *smiles*