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-   -   Funny/Embarrassing things they say (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7842)

Clodfobble 03-25-2012 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha
And telling him to take his hands off it.

OMG yes.

"But I'm not pointing it at you, so it's okay."
"No, it's never okay in front of other people. You have to be by yourself, no one else in the room."
"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."
"No!"

classicman 03-25-2012 01:00 PM

Quote:

"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."
Kinda defeats the purpose, no?
lol @ minifob.

Sundae 03-25-2012 02:00 PM

There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.

Uh-huh.
Max is gay.
He'll be doodle obsessed for life.

limey 03-25-2012 02:13 PM

What about Ali's next one, then :eek:!

Sundae 03-25-2012 02:16 PM

She'll be okay.

B-Tay 03-25-2012 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae (Post 803619)
There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.

Uh-huh.
Max is gay.
He'll be doodle obsessed for life.

I believe there was something on '60 Minutes' about this. They do not know why, but statistically the more boys a woman has, the newest boy has a much larger tendency to be gay than the previous - something I like to mention to my Dad who was the third boy born to Grandma.

ZenGum 03-25-2012 06:11 PM

Quote:

"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."
Damn postmodernists. :lol:

footfootfoot 03-25-2012 07:36 PM

Quote:

I will close my eyes and think of England.

wolf 03-25-2012 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhianne (Post 803507)
It never stops you know.

Yesterday I gave my daughter, a nineteen year-old, a list of stuff I wanted her to do for me. "You should be nicer to me," she said, "remember that it's me who'll choose the home you get put into."

Nice.

When momwolf would get cranky I would just look at her and say, "Mother, need I remind you that I know every single bad nursing home in the county?" For humorous effect, I would often say this in front of people, usually nurses who were trying to do something that she was refusing.

(calling momwolf "mother" was my equivalent for her using my first, middle, and last name at the beginning of a comment)

classicman 03-25-2012 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 803698)
(calling momwolf "mother" was my equivalent for her using my first, middle, and last name at the beginning of a comment)

:eek:

footfootfoot 03-27-2012 08:05 AM

This morning I sat down at the breakfast table and discovered that there was honey all over the chair as my newly washed jeans stuck in place when I tried to shift position.

I got up and said in a semi loud voice, “I am not happy.” Of course, I immediately thought of the joke about the guy who rear-ends a midget and I told it to the wife and kids while they were eating breakfast.

Me: My (imaginary) friend, Jim Helm, was driving his car to work and he rear-ended a guy. They guy stops his car, gets out and Jim sees that the guy is a dwarf. The guy marches up to Jim’s car, looking furious. Enraged, he shouts “I AM NOT HAPPY.” Jim looks at him and asks, “OK, then which one are you?”

Wife: (Mostly to the children as she knows I am a lost cause) We shouldn’t mock the afflicted. It isn’t easy to be a dwarf.

Me: (Thinking) Oh I don’t know, I bet it comes naturally to them…

I can see the wheels turning in son’s head, but still no light coming on.

Wife: In the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the dwarves all have names, one of them is named Happy, at least in the Disney version.

Me: They had names like, Happy, Goofy, Sneezey, Sleepy, Grumpy…

Daughter: (helpfully) Maybe then the one your friend hit was Grumpy.

infinite monkey 03-27-2012 08:08 AM

Ha! Your kids have your sense of humor. BRAVO!

footfootfoot 03-27-2012 08:13 AM

It's true, though the daughter is still young enough that she thought it really happened and that the dwarf must have been Grumpy.

infinite monkey 03-27-2012 08:15 AM

Ahhh, but that's a clever mind at work. My youngest niece is (of course) getting older but her responses, while innocent enough, were indicative of the great sense of humor that was to come. She might not have known exactly why it was the perfect response, but the perfect response it was! :)

B-Tay 03-27-2012 10:04 AM

I thought it was interesting to hear my son, when he was about 3, refer to a black/African American person in his preschool as having a "chocolate face".

It makes sense, since "black" is literally incorrect, since nobody is that color, and for some reason he did not associate "brown", he used chocolate. At first I thought "Is that offensive"? and then thought "this is actually quite a pleasant term. Everyone loves chocolate".

He also referred to C3PO as "that belly-button guy" back then.


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