Originally Posted by capnhowdy

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He
stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you,
Mr. American, for letting me in this country!"

But the passerby says, "You are mistaken. I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such
a beautiful country here in America!"

The person says, "I no American. I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees, he stops, shakes
his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!"

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. I am not an
American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an American?"

She says, "No, I am from Russia!"

So he is puzzled and asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says, "Probably at work."

Originally Posted by Cyclefrance

This thread is so long I must admit to have failed to check back to see if this has been entered already. Even so it may have been missed by quite a few. I think I have seen similar but it still made me smile...

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By
giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, fictional situation in which you will
have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be
honest, and spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due
consideration to each line.
-------------------------

THE SITUATION
You are in New Orleans, There is chaos all around you caused by a
hurricane with severe flooding. You are photo journalist working for
a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic
disaster.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and
people swirling around you, and disappearing under the water.
===============================================

THE TEST
Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow
the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's the
President, George W.Bush. At the same time you notice that the
raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two
options- you can save the life of the President, or you can shoot a
dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting thedeath of one of
the world's most famous men.
===============================================

THE QUESTION
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer....... Would
you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic
simplicity of black and white?

Originally Posted by Torrere

In Heaven:
the cooks are French,
the policemen are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian
and the bankers are Swiss.

In Hell:
the cooks are English,
the policemen are German,
the mechanics are French,
the lovers are Swiss
and the bankers are Italian.

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

A gal from NYC moved to Seattle and wound up as next door neighbor to the family V.
The movers unloaded her furniture in a light rain and she surveyed her new surroundings withmixed pleasure.
"Well the weather will be good for my complexion" she thought.

The next morning she awoke and took a stroll around the block, taking in her new home, after a while she was pretty wet from the steady drizzle and she returned home to unpack and have a nice cup of soup.

The next day she went outside and saw LittleV playing trucks in the rain in his driveway,
"Hey kid." she asked "does it ever stop raining around here?"

LittleV looks up and says "How the hell should I know? I'm only six years old."

rimshot