This is why I always lived on the top floor - 4 separate times in fact.

homegirl threw away a letter with a $50 bill in it.

"I didn't see it."

There was one sheet of paper folded around a 50. How could you not see it?

already at the dump.

Found $625 worth of checks in unopened envelopes...

You probably didn't want to pay that $50 bill anyway.

Oh bite me!
 

You can't even drink diet pop anymore, without someone getting all up in your grill. Ooooh, they drink Diet Coke, let's make them feel guilty about that too! I'm so scared now, what all this soda is doing to me. The horrors! What is wrong with me? Why can't I say "no"? Why am I such a horrible addict? I'm so weak. I'm so beaten down. I need help. I need a 12 pack program like AA. Did I say pack? I meant step.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/01...x.html?hpt=T2#

In other words: so fucking what?

And I got news for those folks: 6 cans a day? Freaking lightweight. I'll see your six cans and raise you 8 or 9 more. Put that in your glass and drink it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette, drink another pop, and get some pizza for lunch. If I could I'd burn one, and have some beer too.

:rolleyes:

and, end rant.

You rebel, you. :D

The insurance people for the summer pool. I started typing out the whole story but they're just not worth the effort. They're pissing me off. Contact me urgently it's overdue (then they don't answer) yada yada yada ...and this is like the fourth sequel....

I have lost my camera.
In this house.*
I wanted to upload pictures of my costume.

Bloody hell, it's NOT a big place!
And 90% of things are in the correct place here (the exception being my room, but I've searched that pretty well).
WHERE IS MY BLOODY CAMERA?????!!!!!

Pissed off.

* Both Dad and I took pics after I got back from school, so I know it's here. And I was the last one to use it.

If you were Diz, where would you put it?

Sounds like you have a camera obscura.

I found my camera.
But I've just had such a trauma uploading the photos I am in no mood to put them on here.

Seriously.
I shouted so hard at this stupid machine that I scared Diz off.
(the 'rents are out of course)

Good thinking though, Clod.
It looks like I had the camera on the arm of the sofa, and it's highly likely that Mr Diz knocked it off. It's where I usually find the remote, my phone and my glasses after all. I just couldn't remember where I'd last had the camera, which is why I wasn't checking the floor.

Oh and on a side note - heard my Mum telling my sister that she would have to come with her when she had an appointment with the Social Worker about Grandad. To back her up and support her. Why Laura? Who helped her look after Grandad these last few years? Who was sole carer when she was away on holiday and house-sitting? Who went to get his lunch form town, his shopping from Tesco - despite not having a car? Who washed his cock and balls when he had diarrhea? Who has helped with his washing and ironing. Oh, I guess it must have been Laura. With her wide view of the world and her immense experience and her high intellect and her knowledge of mental health and the NHS.

God, I know how ridiculous that sounds. It's petty, it's jealousy and I should bloody well grow up and be pleased that Mum does have another daughter she can rely on. But I'm hurt instead, and pissed off.

Deep breath, rub some dirt on it stupid.

Hell, SG, you've probably got far better experience of dealing with social workers, too ;)! But seriously, you have every right to be pissed off, IMHO!

Oh Let them deal with the shit ,
You have Done what You can do ,
and I have NO Doubt that you will keep on helping ,
Take care of YOU

Life is so freaking unfair sometimes, huh? And no, you don't sound ridiculous at all. You ain't petty, and you don't need to grow up. You're already mature, and you're doing the best for your elders. Good for you! May good karma come your way. Get pissed off but only just a moment then let it go. That's how life is; it sucks. But don't let it blacken your heart. Let it go so you can laugh and smile and let your good heart shine through.

I think you should be pleased that she wanted someone else to "back her up and support her," since that sounds like a pansy job you shouldn't want anyway. My guess would be that your mom knows that you are, in fact, a more prominent caretaker than she has been, so she won't be able to get any sort of ego-stroking from you in front of the social worker, and might even look like a derelict daughter who is passing off so much work to the devoted granddaughter. Laura's ignorance might be the most important feature for your mom in this case, no?

yeah. I think so too.

I don't think I would be so good at holding up under that.

You are a strong person SG.

I confronted her last night. In the most pansy way possible of course, and trying so hard to restrain any bitterness and anger that it might have sounded like an off the cuff query.

But this morning I was convinced she was ignoring me.
Well, she DID ignore me when I came down this morning - I said "Good morning" and got no reply, but despite my sinking stomach I wasn't 100% sure that she heard me. despite her attacks on Dad/ Grandad because of their hearing, she doesn't hear as well as she thinks she does these days. Although she's said to me that sometimes she simply ignores me. Liar.

Anyway, this afternoon she offered to re-hem my trousers. Something she suggested about three weeks ago. Which is a lovely thing to offer, and makes me wonder if I was wrong this morning and in fact instead of punishing me, she was just feeling bad that she'd hurt my feelings?

Oh and the answer to the question was apparently that Laura can be a real firebrand. Well, shit, I know that. She's the only one who can control my Mum. I wouldn't call it being a firebrand, I would call it being a manipulative and selfish bitch who only has four important people in her life, and they all live at the her address. But hey.

Despite my mean words I'm nowhere near as angry about it today. It's no worse than Mum telling me I needed to get Ste to help me plan my Glasgow trip, because he knows about these things (he helped plan their Las Vegas/ Hollywood trip). Ste knows and I know that we've both been on solo holidays and both know how to use the internet. It's only Mum who thinks he has a special skill. And after all, I have no issues or jealousy when it comes to him.

FSM, I wish I didn't need constant ego-stroking. Especially from the one person who wouldn't identify it even it it dressed up in ego-stroking clothes and danced on a table singing Ego Stroking Days Are Here Again.

End of topic. Thanks for not smacking me.

So I have the day Off for Our anaverery ( 22 years , Thank You Verry Much !!!)
yesterday I was at a charcoal plant fixing their busted ass Old POS Truck scale , I get done , dude says Pull up to the doc Ill have a Fork lift load it for you , Me WTF ????
Oh yer boss called , we are swapping out Some of the bill for a Pallet of charcoal ( my Boss is on a BBQ Team ) . oh Ok
So I have this 4x4x4 Cube of Charcoal on the back of my truck ,
I call my Boss " DUDE WTF ???!!!
I have tommorow Off and have to be on a Job 8am Monday How The Hell are you going to collect this shit ??"
Oh Ill call you in the AM with instructions where to be to drop it off ,
Me Well so much for the day off ,
Him well we will just call it 1/2 day off

so 7:30 this Morning my phone starts BLOWING UP !!!!!
2 customers with problems and a Fellow tech trying to figuer out where we are going to Meet up to transfer this Pallet of charcoal , AND Go do the jobs He has to do today ,
I call the shop , My boss has taken the day off and is NOT answering his Phone ( FUCKER !!!!)
so I get 2 other techs to cover my calls , (I Bet you LUNCH they will be calling me for advice )
Drive 1.5 hrs to drop off this Pallet ( No Fork lift , so we Mexican Back hoe this shit Bag by Bag into his truck ),
Drive 1.5 hrs Back home .

What a Wounderfull day Off ,
im going to transfer My phone to the shop number !!!!!

You crack me up, zippy!

Happy anaverery! :)

yer boss sucks earthworm balls, zipper.

Happy anaverery :)

I have to wish you a happy anaverery too. 22 years is awesome! Way to go.

Happy anaverery!
Hip hip Hooray

22 is a nice run!

Now that is just being a total dick.

Dick.

ETA: Not you, Zip, a boss who intrudes on your day off then disappears himself.

Thanks every body :)
Only 2 calls asking advice
Then 2 calls Thanking me for said good advice

Do it!

Happy 22 years! Champion!

Was that a Catch 22 situation?

Yeah, that's how long my second one lasted. Zip, you have to take another day off to make up for that shit. :(

The Ghetto Dump across the street has been kind of quiet and tidy lately and a friend's mom moved in recently so that is good.

However, there has also been someone there working lately who brings his crazy-ass part bull terrier part husky or malamute dog with him. The dog will go on multi-hour barking jags which is only extremely tedious.

This morning the inchling came running to the living room saying there was a dog at the door. I fugured it was one of my neighbors whose dogs occasionally get loose and roam around. I walk to the screen door to be confronted by an 80-90 pound, hackles raised, snarling and growling, Bull terrier head with two-tone eyes standing in my mud room making little lunges at me when I started to open the door.

Realizing That the mm was standing next to me and she was half a head shorter that the dog, I realized we were outgunned and I quickly slammed the solid door. The dog ran around to the back of the house and I went and shut that door too. A few minutes later the mm was shouting that the dog was back and in our yard and mrs. foot, who is a dog person and worked in shelters for dogs and was channeling St. Francis, went out to talk with the dog. (Whatever, you ride that rocket, home girl. Personally, not a fan of the teeth even if my arm were 100%)

This is the part that will really surprise you and you would never have seen coming in 1,000 years: (sarcasm alert) The owner stood about 150 feet away from his dog and repeated about 50 or 60 times a command for the dog to "come here" while the dog completely ignored him and growled at mrs. foot. I went out into the yard and the dog ran out of our yard and into the street near the owner and proceeded to cavort around the owner, ignoring his calls.

I told the owner I didn't appreciate being menaced in my own yard and he said, here's another one from left field, "The dog is very friendly and doesn't bite." and another all time classic "He got loose, he never does that."

I told him I wasn't interested in finding out the hard way if his dog was friendly or not, and it wasn't my problem that his dog slipped its leash. Finally, I told him if the dog came on my property again, he would probably never see the dog again. I am considering calling the Chief of Police and putting him on notice of my intent to put the dog down since we do not have an effective dog warden or effective dog laws in this town.

By the way, yesterday I took delivery of a Remington 870 Express and enough ammo to deal with a horde of zombie dogs.

hehehe that was cute

humor aside, I am glad no one got bit. Very strange dog behavior to intimate a family, on their own property. Good thinking too, to shut the door to guard mm.

Not really, that is if the dog thought it was defending its territory. My husband was threatened by a similar type when he was out jogging. When he ran past its house, the dog jumped through an open screen door and chased him. My husband stopped running and yelled out to the the kid in the yard to get the dog. The mother came out and said "oh, she wont bite'. But the dog already had gotten its teeth on on my husband's fist and it was bleeding.

Mean dogs suck.

The dog doesn't bite
The gun isn't loaded
The check is in the mail

And irresponsible dog owners should be jailed

This article recently stirred up a hornets' nest here. The author finished with I see that has been removed. Apparently people misunterstood the author's intention which was not -in fact- to threaten pets.... :lol:

Very nice. Loved mine. 12ga. I assume?

12, 13 whatever it takes ;)

a household of pmsing women. :yelsick: There should be a law that only one woman can have pms at a time. :rolleyes: Oh, and according to my family, I am never allowed to have pms or have a bad day cuz everyone else is always freaking having a damn bad day.

Just to add, I dislike mean dogs too. :-/

yebbut then somebody would have it ALL the time.

I think I read that women who live together tend to end up with their cycles synchronizing. Pheromones or something.

Unfortunately, my mom seems to have pms every freaking day, all year long. And my sister complains day in and day out. If I remain calm and cheerful, things smooth out. But, if I get pms, things get explosive. :thepain:

Fuck....I'm so screwed. :greenface

Wait, you have two daughters and a wife, you're lucky to only think you read it. most poor sods in your position have to live with it for at least 10 years..... there no "think" involved. They KNOW

Period moans. I've read/heard that, as well.

Here's an article about the various studies. it calls urban myth as it's conclusion...

It's an old husband's tale.

old husbad's no-tail.

Well, I know the ebb and flow for Mrs. Z, but I think the Zings would be mortified if I started charting their calendar.

I was raised by my Mother , Big sister
Mothers best friend , and her 3 daughters
Old husbands tail MY ASS !!
They ALL synced up and it was Verry hard to be present for about a week or so
" Mom !!! hes Breathing to loud AGAIN !!!"
" What are You doing there sitting with your head down and your fingers in your ears ???!! "


Foot OO Buck will deal with said Critter
Do call the cops and for warn them ,
They May deal with it for you .

(Probably just another urban legend, but while we're on the subject...) I had been under the impression that it wasn't that women tended to sync with each other, but that women in general were more likely to sync with the cycles of the moon. Full moons bring out the crazies, you know.

Menacing dog on my property .... what dog? :eyebrow:

I had the neighbors pits[2] kill one of my Cattle dogs years ago while I was out. He was alive when I got home but died at the vets. I told the animal control that a scratch on my arm was from the pit lunging at me. She was pregnant and they PHTS. Halleluiah! I have livestock, a menacing stray dog on my property will be deceased very soon.

A teen at our church got attacked by a wandering pitbull two weeks ago. (It only bit his hand before he planted a kick it its ribs and it ran away, fortunately he's a big football-playing dude.) But apparently it got put back in its owner's yard, because animal control was unable to find it. We all said they should put up fliers urging people to turn in their pitbull-owning neighbor, but apparently the cops aren't interested.

So that means you got it good because for many women it's just all too damn obvious! :lol:

I just remembered something. I recall hearing that husbands tend to get "pms" when the wives get it. Pheromones or something. ;) This is the first time I've heard of women's cycles synchronizing. Just something that came to mind.

My friend told me that she once chased a friend with a knife because he made a joke. Uh...yeah....some women's pms are obvious.

Try pms'ing and quitting smoking at the same time.

It wasn't pretty. Or safe for bystanders.

I'm so glad I'm done with both.

That's why there aren't any "how many women with PMS does it take..." jokes.

lol!

Classic gets it because he pms's on this site regularly. :p:

how many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hell, I heard men have pms too. Joke all you want, guys. You know you get them. :eyebrow:


How many? :p: