I try to lose weight
Now I am really hungry.
God is a prankster!

Try the low-carb thing
You won't be hungry at all!
No more sugar-shock.

Just so you know, Chew
I am chewing some chocolate.
Why not get a bar?

Bri:
I have no faith in
Atkins. He died of what? Right,
massive heart failure.


Cat:
I lost my slug for
the vending machine. Seven
-five cents? What bullshit!

Out of pocket change-
Totally broke once again-
Guess I'll suck my thumb.

Nine one one oh one,
Has it really been three years?
Seems like yesterday

Hurricane Ivan,
Nature's WMD,
Got your water wings?

supercalifrag-
ilisticexpiali-
docious. Wow, almost

The first day of Fall,
Or the last day of Summer,
What's the difference?

One more beheaded
taken by terrorism
why does it go on?

Look at my two nerts--
Just floatin' in my scrotum:
Happy Testicles.

Hey baby. Dinner?
Ramen and warm PBR--
(I'll get laid for sure).

Ike is so horny
Hey, Joe. me love you long time
preoccupation

Drank myself naked
at a company party.
No longer work there.

Poetry degree
and I'm writing bad haikus
in a web forum.