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-   -   CyberBully (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=19895)

lumberjim 03-27-2009 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pie (Post 550116)
Will you two knock it off and get a room already? :rolleyes:

why don't YOU shut yer Pie hole?

DanaC 03-27-2009 12:20 PM

Shawnee. I didn't and don't think you heartless. And yes I was being condescending, but with respect, it was in response to this condescension:

Quote:

Why was I never bullied? I suppose there are a lot of reasons: lack of qualified bulliers perhaps, but I also feel that I never put myself out there for that. I've said before I'm scarily fearless ('cept for spiders) and perhaps I've always carried myself in a way that precluded me seeming victimizable. It's also not that there weren't people in my childhood, or young adulthood, who didn't try to go there. They quickly gave up that effort when they saw I wasn't playing that game.

Again, it adds to the idea that people who get bullied are drawing the bully. I didn't play the game. I have never been a quiet victim.

DanaC 03-27-2009 12:24 PM

I might point out at this time that I have bullied as well. In my defense I considered had reason. Fuck with my friends and I can be unpleasant. And creative. Impulses and ways of interacting which I have long since trained myself out of. Except in politics, obviously.

jinx 03-27-2009 12:44 PM

I see that Shawnee is trying to understand why she wasn't bullied when others were, not that she's being condescending.
Bullying sucks and shouldn't be tolerated, but it is. A place of solace away from bullying is a good thing, but won't really solve the problem.

Shawnee123 03-27-2009 12:44 PM

This thread has made me sad: sad that people are so cruel, sad that the world can be so cold. This is a feeling I've struggled against since I can remember remembering; I've never understood that about people.

Dana, I hope you know I have the utmost respect for you. I certainly don't think you ever "asked for it" and I am sorry to give that impression. My experience is totally different. Yes, I am proud of how strong I can be. Yes, I am constantly dismayed by my weakness.

Now give me some names and addresses so I can go kick some ass. ;)

DanaC 03-27-2009 12:59 PM

*chuckles* Shawnee, I know that.

This isn't really about me. What I am, though, is a person you know, and as such I hope that some of the assumptions that get made when it's a stranger (like in that article) are avoided. The only thing that's annoyed me in this thread was the speed with which that girl and her family were labelled complicit in her victimisation. There is a culture (in my country and in yours I believe) of machismo when it comes to bullying. One is not supposed to 'lie down and take it', one is supposed to 'fight back. Those who become victims of bullying are perceived as weak. They must be weak, because they were the ones who got bullied.

It's pervasive. It feeds into every field in life. Whatever is overtly put into the culture in terms of telling someone if you're being bullied, and it's not your fault if you are being bullied; none of that outweighs the deep cultural identification of the bullied as weak and unworthy. Darwinism in action. This is how many people see it. That macho culture makes it very difficult for people to speak out.

Me? Oh I'll speak out. I am unbullyable. But only because I got innoculated young :P

classicman 03-27-2009 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 550071)
So come on. Hey Shaw, Classic and Jim: why don't you tell me now that I asked for it. Tell me, did I paint victim on my back? Was that me?

What the hell are you talking about? When did I EVER say anything remotely like that? I said that I thought the mother was being overly dramatic - does that count? I also ASKED how "girl bullying" was different. Fuckin A - looked for a little enlightenment and you, Pie and a couple others just "bully" me. great way to show YOUR empathy. Hypocrits, the lot of ya'

Then this beaut ...
Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 550122)
I might point out at this time that I have bullied as well.

So...this life altering aberration you described was something you felt compelled to inflict upon another human? Oh... YOU had reason. So that made it ok, i guess.

Personally what you all are talking about is way past bullying - its harassment. My definition of bullying would be more akin to what (no name) has been done here to certain posters...relatively harmless poking or mocking. I believe I even mentioned this in my 2nd post.

TheMercenary 03-27-2009 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 550131)
What the hell are you talking about? When did I EVER say anything remotely like that? I said that I thought the mother was being overly dramatic - does that count? I also ASKED how "girl bullying" was different. Fuckin A - looked for a little enlightenment and you, Pie and a couple others just "bully" me. great way to show YOUR empathy. Hypocrits, the lot of ya'

Then this beaut ...


So...this life altering aberration you described was something you felt compelled to inflict upon another human? Oh... YOU had reason. So that made it ok, i guess.

Personally what you all are talking about is way past bullying - its harassment. My definition of bullying would be more akin to what (no name) has been done here to certain posters...relatively harmless poking or mocking. I believe I even mentioned this in my 2nd post.

Cyber Bullies in the Cellar? No way.

classicman 03-27-2009 01:12 PM

Hey Merc - Go choke on yer popcorn or just STFU - mmmkay?

TheMercenary 03-27-2009 01:15 PM

**gagging**

Shawnee123 03-27-2009 01:15 PM

c-man:

:notworthy:

classicman 03-27-2009 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary (Post 550137)
**gaging**

Gaging??? As in "Checking dimensional requirement by means of a gage."

I think you meant gagging and I hope it was on your popcorn. As you were. Oh and make sure you wash your hands before you touch the keyboard.

TheMercenary 03-27-2009 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 550148)
Gaging??? As in "Checking dimensional requirement by means of a gage."

I think you meant gagging and I hope it was on your popcorn. As you were. Oh and make sure you wash your hands before you touch the keyboard.

Yea that. Now join my "social club".

Sheldonrs 03-27-2009 01:29 PM

Bullied for most of my school life. Made me HATE school. Stopped going most of the time until college.
Most of the bullies were girls. It was that kind of town. I was taught to NEVER hit a girl. My father wasn't and I wasn't going to be him, no matter what. Bullies are the lowest form of life in school.

My only recompense, if I can call it that, albeit too late, was the fact that the 3 major trangressors did not fare too well. One was killed by her boyfriend. One had four kids, on welfare and no father in sight. The 3rd has been in and out of rehab and institutions since HS.

classicman 03-27-2009 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary (Post 550150)
Yea that. Now join my "social club".

Fook you and your social shitclub - Its just something else to get bullied about. Kinda like being in the chess club or band or....


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