If anyone has heard of the following language, kindly let me know:

Administrative Asst For a Jenkintown Immigration Law Firm. Fluency in Sanish helpful. Great for pre-law students. Call Luz 215-885-3600

Sanish is the language Cellarites use when interacting with the rest of humanity, fortunately its not required here.

From Careerbuilder:

The job title as listed on the search results: g!o$b&b%ly()go*ok//##

Description

g!o$b&b%ly()go*ok//##

Requirements

Little or no experience necessary.

Contact Information
Company: Not Available
Contact: g!o$b&b%ly()go*ok//##
Email: Send Email Now
Phone: Not Available
Fax: Not Available
Ref ID: Not Available

See Job Description for Contact Information

Also from Careerbuilder:

AmerisourceBergen, a Fortune 36 Company

What the hell is this? I can't find anything on them on Fortune's site...what are they? Part of Fortune's Top 36 companies most likely to lie about themselves?

A job description on Careerbuilder:

Consultants

Immediate Openings
Business Analysts
Gateway
Paper Free
Email resume to
careers@dcasolutions.com

Ummm...yeah.

The title of a job posting on Careerbuilder:

Customer Service Rep: Anheuser-Busch

YEAH! Sign me up for that one!

Too bad it was some wholesaler out in Norristown that wants people to mail a copy of their resume.

Sanish is a dialect spoken by people who are most likely crazy, but who manage to hide it relatively well.

Damnit! I knew I should have went ahead and applied for that job!

From monster.com:

Salary: from USD 13.00 per year

Oh CRAP!! You mean _my_ job is posted on monster.com???

Those bastards!!!!

As I've mentioned before, I took a County Caseworker 1 test with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Here's my current standing (the counties listed are the ones I listed as where I would work):

Bucks: 3rd out of 114
Montgomery: 4th out of 144
Philadelphia: 3rd out of 148

No positions are currently being filled in Philadelphia (as the State's Civil Service site says), and I've been at that same ranking in Bucks for almost a year now, but have not been contacted. Montco has come calling several times, but I keep turning them down due to what I think is a low salary for where I would be working.

So, the Commonwealth came calling again Wednesday--County Caseworker 1, $26,229 for the starting salary. I have no problem with the salary, it's just that...this came from the Lehigh County Office of Children and Youth Services in Allentown...70 miles away.

Huh? Allentown? Do you see Lehigh County as one of my preferences? This is as bad as them offering me a Drivers License Examiners Assistant job in Berks County earlier this year! Not to mention...Allentown? That's gotta be worse than Norristown!

I dunno though...that $26,700 in Norristown is starting to look good.

Noristown isn't all that bad, really.

I have several friends with Children and Youth Svcs, bunch of other who are with County Probation.

You've got good rail/bus connections to philly, too, if you can use public transit for whatever job you might do. Of course if you need to do site visits, that requires that you have a vehicle, so that might only be a benefit when the weather's bad.

As far as Allentown goes ... How's your Spanish??

How many of the offers do you get to turn down before they don't call you anymore?

Necesita un poco de trabajo.

Apparently, they don't drop you unless you check the box on the reply sheet that says "remove me from consideration" or you don't return the reply sheet.

I'm thinkin' you should become an MCSE. People do it all the time. It isn't hard. It only hurts for a minute, then it's all over.

You can study in the comfort of your own home. Or, you can enroll in one of the many fine centers of higher learning that offer MCSE training programs, such as "Bob's House of MCSEs". or "MCSEs-R-Us" or the "Northeast Tractor-Trailer Training and MCSE Academy".

MCSEs are highly respected (and envied) in the IT field. In fact, many employers regard MCSE certification as the single most important qualification a potential employee can have!

I'll bet you have a pack of matches in your pocket right now that has all the information you need to get you started down the path to becoming a well-respected and highly compensated MCSE! Don't wait... Call today!

By golly, I think I might have found my ideal job:

Social Worker (Refugees )
- Initiate & maintain contact w/ refugees/sponsors during resettlement to insure goals are met. Plan needs of refugee w/ sponsor/family. Assist clients w/ connecting to needed services. Provide referrals & brief interventions as needed. BSW or related degree w/ experience working w/refugee or immigrant populations pref'd. May require eve & w/e hrs