Okay, so... ten months then? Not really reasonable to expect a woman just out of the hospital to go jaunting off to return things, so make it an even year?

We had (undisputed) proof that this item was purchased at this store on their baby registry. The day we recieved the gift, we went into labor, then had the baby, then returned home, then eventually opened the box and found the VOMIT STAINS.

We packed up a newborn, a year-old, and a c-section recovering wife into the car with this big-ass box, and brought it down there and just wanted a non VOMIT-STAINED baby bouncer.

This is what they wanted us to do:

#1: Pack the newborn, year-old, c-section recovering wife, and big-ass box BACK into the car, drive across town to visit the person that purchased the item and ask them if they have the receipt from however many months ago; or have them drive down to Target and meet us while we wait around with a screaming newborn and year-old.

or

#2: Call the Corporate helpdesk and try to get a ticket number for the issue, over the sound of two screaming kids, at which point they wouldn't be able to do anything until Monday, and we'd have to pack everybody back in the car and take the VOMIT-STAINED item back home with us.

NO. We're here NOW. Fix it NOW. We're NOT getting back in the car, we're not going ANYWHERE until we exchange this "new" item for an ACTUAL, NEW ITEM (THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN PAID FOR!)

Just TAKE THIS ONE BACK and GIVE US A NEW ONE. It was good enough for YOU to sell to US, so it should be good enough for you to take back.

I don't give a flying fvck what your fvcked-up internal policies are on the subject. You sold me vomit-stained item and I want a non vomit-stained one. PERIOD. Somebody can override this policy and I want to talk to that person NOW, NOT AN HOUR-AND-A-HALF LATER; BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STAND HERE FOR AN HOUR-AND-A-HALF ARGUING WITH YOU ABOUT THIS--YOU. WILL. GET. YELLED. AT.

In answer to your question; perhaps if a gift is purchased on a BABY REGISTRY then the 90 days should START when the BABY is BORN.

The baby can't use the item if he/she DOESN'T EXIST YET.

That's a decent idea. Anything you can show was purchased off a registry has a different return policy. That is something that a corporation could actually implement on a wide scale.

When I worked in a baby store we used to advise our customers not to pick up their pushchairs until after the baby was due (we were open 7 days a week). We advised them to take the carseats 2 weeks before the due date, or earlier if they wished.

Why?
Because the mid-range pushchairs came with a manufacturer's guarantee valid from the day that the item left the store. The higher end ones offered their own guarantees which ran for longer, and Stokke (for example) offered repairs and replacements practically for the life of the chair if the customer could prove to be the original purchaser.

BTW Flint, do you think a court of law would uphold the verdict that the store was at fault? Given that they are likely to have a policy of checking returned goods? Don't you think this points the finger more squarely at either you or the person who purchased it for you being the vomiter?

"Yes it was returned your honour, but it was clean, otherwise we wouldn't have restocked it. Therefore this man, who refuses to complain from the comfort of his own home but instead drags a woman and two minors, includnig a newborn, out to watch him shout at strangers, is most likely the perpetrator"...?

You don't know what a Baby Registry is, do you?

Also, did I mention that the store admitted fault,
i.e. admitted that they did not check the item before re-stocking it with vomit stains? I could have sworn I mentioned that one or ten times.

Let's re-visit your court scenario: "Yes, your honor, we admitted that we re-stocked a vomit-covered item, but, uh, I guess we were just kidding when we said that. Yeah, that was a little joke we told, but, seriously, we think this man's mother-in-law probably unpacked this baby bouncer and covered it in vomit stains before giving it as a gift to her grandchild. Your honor, this man simply enjoys yelling at people for no reason."

I don't know... Don't you think this discussion is making you look like a total cunt?

I wasn't there to complain. I was there to exchange the item, and then do some grocery shopping with my family.

I mentioned what we used to advise out customers as an aside - we don't have Baby Registries in this country, but I know what they are because we have Wedding Registries.

Different country, different laws and different customs. To be honest I was only playing along to see if your head was actually going to explode. Next best thing to seeing someone naked apparently.

Recently during the course of our move, I needed to transfer all our telcommunications over to the new address, namely being two mobiles, a home phone, internet and also cable tv. This proved to be a very difficult process, and after about two weeks of emailing and trying to call, I finally got the shits about it, so I rang up one morning, and got transferred to about 4 or 5 different 'service areas' to finally be cut off during the course of another 'transfer'. So i called back on the main number and this is what I said to the first person to answer the phone, "You don't get paid enough to deal with the amount of abuse I have to give someone from your company, so please put me through to your supervisor at least".

The girl was silent for a moment or two, and then she said, "I might be able to help you if you tell me what the problem is", to which I responded, "I doubt that will be the case because you wont have the authority to make all my dreams come true today". She didn't seem to have a response to that, so she said, "Please hold the line for a moment", I said, "Please don't do anything with the line. Please go and get your supervisor and don't you dare press the hold button". It was at this point that she finally realized I was at my wits end and off she went to find some superior being to deal with the crazy lady on the phone.

Anyway, in the end, the chick who came to the phone managed to make all my dreams come true, and she phoned me with updates right through the whole process. Ultimately I didn't abuse anyone, but I did tell her that the systems the company has in place for dealing with multiple queries is not satisfactory and it needs fixing by someone who actually knows what customer service is all about.

I called the company afterwards and told them what a great job Marie did for me and that the world would be a better place if all their staff were as efficient as she was.

Service people across the board are generally not well trained and are left to the mercy of the customers good humour or lack there of. I don't think this is good management practice, and many businesses would do well to improve in this area.

I wish I had that kind of patience and self-control. I've been trained, my whole life, that causing a catastrophic, near day-ruining scene is the only thing that gets an issue escalated. The preponderance of evidence in your favor, the sheer moral rightness of your position -- these things bear NO WEIGHT. So, barring some kind of Jedi mind trick (as in Ali's example) the only way to break down the stonewall of illogical service practices is to throw a royal, foaming-at-the-mouth hissy fit until you are routed to someone who can solve your issue. And another thing I've learned: there is always someone that can solve your issue. If you think there isn't, you didn't throw a big enough fit.

It certainly isn't fair to the frontline employee, but... well, I'm not walking away without my problem solved.

Sorry. Sorry that you work here. I guess that's part of the job. All I want is the product or service I've exchanged my money for.

I know you didn't write these policies, and I know you can't do anything about them. I know you've been instructed not to help me, and to prevent me from gaining access to help. The sequence of events that will result in a fair outcome for me, the customer, isn't going to be an enjoyable experience for you. However, this does not deter me. I have a valid issue, the facts are on my side, and I WILL have it resolved, completely, before I leave.

btw:
I have another one...

"The story of the take-out chicken soup that was RANCID when we got home."

With me that day the force was.

Perhaps the power you too shall weild also one day, my apprentice. ;)

Don't you think that was a tad over the top?

No. I don't accidentally type things.

Now who wants to hear my "rancid take-out soup" story?

Over the top that comment was my young apprentice.

If the force were with you that day, that comment you would not have made. ;)

Perhaps your words tell us that to the dark side you have gone?

I didn't ask if it was accidental.