The Cellar - For the Longest Time...

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The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)

- Relationships (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=34)

- - For the Longest Time... (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=15876)

lookout123

11-08-2007 10:20 AM

Quote:

don't look for it, just wait for it to come to you?

NO! i'm saying go make it happen! don't sit around and wait for people to interact with you - go find someone to interact with. the rest will progress fairly naturally. you've got to take the initiative.

DanaC

11-08-2007 10:23 AM

Ibby, my advice is build friendships for now. There's time enough for love (as heinlein would put it :P).

Mockingbird

11-08-2007 10:24 AM

I'll add to that, too. In high school I was aware of crowds and cliques, but I didn't join in with it. I ignored it and painted pictures all day, that was what I wanted to do anyway. When people liked it, awesome, when they didn't, awesome. I liked what I did and I didn't care what crowd anyone was from.

As a result, everyone just called me the 'art kid' and I wasn't lumped in with anyone -- everyone talked to me 'cause I would talk to everyone else. Break out of the cliquey mold stuff, Ibram -- become your own clique. BE THE RULING BODY OF YOURSELF AND ET CETERA

TOO MUCH COFFEE

AUGH

ZenGum

11-08-2007 10:24 AM

I just wanted to say, Mockingbird's goat strategy is bloody brilliant. She almost has to talk with you, and it'll make her laugh which is always a huge bonus. Especially if she is an arty/coffee-shop girl, she'll be impressed by your surrealist grove. Why didn't I think of that when I was younger?
Cute puppies are also great for this, since they will often run over and initiate the friendship for you.

Added thought ... take a female goat. As a back up, just in case, you know.
Damn, was that out loud?

piercehawkeye45

11-08-2007 02:15 PM

I feel it makes you feel any better I didn't have any good relationships in high school. Focus on other things, you will be ahead of the rest when you get out of high school.

But, don't get the impression that you will be getting laid three times a week in college either, it just doesn't work like that.

lookout123

11-08-2007 02:17 PM

*pffft* 3 times a week? slacker.:D

Sundae

11-08-2007 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 404725)

Lot of adults simply don't have access to that kind of casual meeting scenario. This is particularly the case in big cities. Think about it: unless you are out with some friends, what do you look like if you go to a bar alone? People go out in pairs and groups, to be single and out and about alone is simply not societally acceptable in many places, and even where it is it is a dangerous thing to do, particularly if you're a woman. The reason speed dating, and net dating etc is such a big thing is because there are ever growing numbers of single adults who simply don't have the opportunity to meet other single adults unless it's in a work setting.

It is so true. And if you end up working in a same gender environment (and that's not your preference) you will dream about your school and college days in a rose-tinted haze, believe me.

I am coming round to the idea that we all have our best years ahead of us, but you more than most. You haven't found your peer group in high school? Hello college! In fact the only problem will be leaving with the same sense of uniqueness and put-upon genius you have now.

Cheer up, one way or another things will work out even if you do nothing but wait.

Tink	11-08-2007 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Razzmatazz13 (Post 404507)

You are young (as I am), so maybe your fellow date-ees aren't mentally on the same path as you, and lemme tell you

THAT sucks.

If that's the case, the only thing you can do is wait it out. (I don't necessarily reccomend trying to date older folks, cause age doesn't always mean mentally mature) :)

Maybe the young folks ought to not dangle / flirt / tease the older folks and that problem will not happen. Maturity is a factor on both sides. Thus the term "prick tease".

binky

11-08-2007 02:49 PM

Ugh I HATED high school, and was one of the nerdy people, but the good thing to come out of all that is that I still have several good friends who were fellow nerds, plus I don't really give a rat's ass what anyone that I don't care about thinks of me.

Just go out and go for it Ibram, and try to remember, that whatever happens now, the person you get with now is HIGHLY unlikely to be the one you are with 10 years from now

Ibby	11-08-2007 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockingbird (Post 404791)

Way ahead of you buddy, that's already where I'm at. I'm friends with rad people from whatever social group, already, and not part of any group. I've never really bought into the whole clique thing.

piercehawkeye45

11-08-2007 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram (Post 405029)

Way ahead of you buddy, that's already where I'm at. I'm friends with rad people from whatever social group, already, and not part of any group. I've never really bought into the whole clique thing.

Thats the way to do things, I did it as well in high school. I never had a certain group but I could get along with basically everyone in my school.

Clodfobble

11-08-2007 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram

I'm friends with rad people from whatever social group, already, and not part of any group. I've never really bought into the whole clique thing.

I dunno, I bet if you could find a "people who want to have sex with each other" clique, you'd be all over that. :)

Ibby	11-08-2007 08:03 PM

That's definitely true... touche, clodfobble

Michaela

11-08-2007 08:20 PM

Ain't that the truth. Well said.

monster

11-08-2007 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tink (Post 404943)

Maybe the young folks ought to not dangle / flirt / tease the older folks and that problem will not happen. Maturity is a factor on both sides. Thus the term "prick tease".

Say what? Are you talking about Lookout and Drax? 'Cause I'm not entirely sure Lookout would enjoy being called a prick-tease (didn't know anyone still used that term), and I have no wish to speculate about whether Drax would enjoy it or not :eek:

:lol:

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