When I was seven, I posed in the nude.
I thought the public would have more gratitude.

When I was thirty five
it was a very good year.

Should a Woman Have to Worry About Tires? Goodyear Says No!

No use crying over spilled milk.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

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This is why you should never leave The Cellar.
The Goddamn Germans ain't got nothin' to do with it!!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then add vodka so you can drink to forget the lousy gift life gave you.

Some say the glass is half-full.
Some say the glass is half-empty.
I say that for $4.50 a drink, you better fill that goddamn glass all the way.

How much for just one rib?

How big are the silver-dollar pancakes?

A cool water sandwich and a Sunday-go-to-meeting bun.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrubber buscuit!

We're on a mission from God.

IN GOD WE TRUST - All others pay cash.

he needs a co-signer to pay cash.

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.