that pic is becoming rapidly redundant.

Thanks. Yes, I went thru a multi-year process and out the other end I have more tools with which to deal with life.

Grant me the serentity to accept the things I can not change
The strength to change the things I can
And the widsom to know the difference

I must clarify. It's an ongoing theme with me that I wish I was Gwen Stefani. That pic is from No Doubt's "It's my Life" Music Video.

In real-life jail, they don't put big heavy chains on your wrists; the inmate can do some harm with that. They put you in very tight close-together small handcuffs behind your back. It's not fun.

Yes, we wore orange jump suits.

Yes, you could get weed inside jail. It costs 10 cup-a-soups (at 99 cents each) for a single joint of California kind bud.

Sorry about that. But, any joke has realities behind it. I like your young swagger. Just remember me thirty years from now.

Were you allowed to alter the suit?

Were you allowed to take supervised trips outside to the library or was there one there one site?

Did that particular library have an unusually large collection of Suess books?

If you were to find such a collection, would you allow yourself to read through some of those books that you had as a child even if the other patrons there might think you are a bit silly?

Without hesitation. It would require a conscious effort to care about the other patron's view of me.

Absolutely not. This is an extremely oppressive environment. The Corrections Officers look for any excuse to "roll you up": give you solitary confinement and an extra day of jail. If they don't have an excuse, they'll push your buttons to try to get a reaction and then cuff you.

No outside trips. Elmwood is a short term prison for up to six months sentences. There was a library "on campus" with donated books, mostly adventure, sci-fi, and law.

No, they had none. An unusually large collection of self-help law books.

Absolutely not. If the inmates didn't like you, they... took matters into their own hands.

"patron" is not the operative word here. The inmates have their own social structure and rules. I'm a white guy, so I was in the "Wood Car"; I was a "wood". Blacks were "brothers", Asians were "chinos", and Mexicans were "home boys" because they ruled the place.

I was almost in trouble for giving my dessert to a brother, when I should have given it to my "car leader". They gave me a "first day" pass on that. Respect is a big thing in jail. But, since I was over 45 yo, I was "off the hooK" for most of it because I was an "OG" (Old Guy).

Early on, the car leader said I needed a street name, so I offered "Rock Steady" and they loved it. So, I was called Rock Steady the whole time. They thought my educated-sounding speech pattern was cute and innocent. So they would teach me "trash talk". Someone asked me something and I said "no" and the leader says "Say, 'fuck no'", so I said "fuck no" and they all laughed. As if I never never cursed before.

I survived all of that. Then a year later, I had too much to drink on an empty stomach and fell asleep in my seat at a Warriors game. The next thing I knew I woke up in the downtown Oakland jail for an overnight. Well, I was ready for it. I was in there with 4 black guys that got DUIs that night. We joked and laughed and talked sports. They thought it was really funny that I didn't remember my arrest, "... for all you know, you could have run onto the court during the game".

Rule #1: Never ask "What did you do?", ask "What are you in here for?"

haha was i the only one that caught that it was from a no doubt video?

texas jail is a bit different. theres no way in hell you'd ever get drugs. we have a rediculously strict policy on drugs.

No. All the regular Dwellars already caught that. I just didn't want to diecive any newbies. Please, put your organ back in your pants, dude.

Every jail has a ridiculously strict policy on drugs.

There are drugs in every jail.

COs (not all, I know many good ones that won't play these games) often make a lot of extra income this way.

Thank you Wolf. Polyanna didn't get it. Just to note, I didn't even think about getting drugs in jail. I wanted out of there as soon as possible. You don't even know how much.

I had card playing friends tell me of schemes like his girlfriend was passing him stuff thru a kiss at the visting center, and stuff left at fences at certain times, oh I don't want to hear anymore. I just wanna go home.