ouch.... beat me

So tell your big brother to do something nice for the guy.

Like what, give him a head start? ;)

I think Mr. Noodle's heading in the right direction.

Give him the first weapon of choice, I say. "Go for the stapler on the table!"

Had a few so far, but 2 have truly blown me away, and i did nothing, cos im a coward, but it wouldnt have worked out in either case anyway, but i digress.

1 - I guess roughly this time last year. I was 16 at the time. Started hanging out with different people for no particular reason, met her. Started speaking to her, she was always happy and talkative and fun-loving. After a while i purposefully left my friends on the off chance i might see her, and i couldnt get her out of my head, which kind of freaked me out as nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Followed her around like a dope for a couple of months, got close to asking her out. Then found out from one of her friends that she is a Jehovahs witness, and apparently cant go out with people. I'm basically a coward and gave up then and there. After I while i thought about it and realised how completely unobtainable she was to a geek like me and how she probably was never interested me in the first place. Ah well, life goes on...

2 - Until about November last year when I fell for another girl in my now final year at High School. Attractive, smart (Straight A's the previous year), but simultaneously very blonde ( i need to start writing down some of her comments, geez). Like last time i would speak to her whenever i could, but this time i realised the tiny likelyhood that it would work out, and this made me kinda moody, and i managed to annoy all my friends by going completely silent most of the time and not doing much. A while later i found out she has a boyfriend, who is also in my school year and i had disliked for a long time already. At this point i realised i was being stupid and gave up.

Not as deep or interesting as some of the other posts, but its my experience with crushes, so its going in anyway. All i have learned so far is that i fall for completely the wrong people, im a coward and a quitter. Im still only 17 and my whole life is still ahead of me as many would say, but its still only a matter of time before i fall for someone else foolishly. Ho hum...

hey grazzers - i don't think you are a coward or a quitter, but you definitely are short on self confidence. you've got to develop your own self respect before you will attract the attention of the people you are attracted to.

selfconfidence (not to be mistaken for arrogance) is the most attractive feature of any individual, whether they be male or female. work on that and the rest will follow.

hear, here! (both spellings included cuz i don't know which is right)

that was my biggest impediment at your age as well. it took me several years to realize that no matter how attractive or unattractive you are, no matter how cool or uncool, your comfort level with yourself is the first thing people notice.

Look at all the ugly people married to hotties. These people have sex. They are even in love with each other sometimes. It's got nothing to do with looks.

by the way, you're from scotland. that alone would get you any number of hot girls that i know (and who will have nothing to do with me). just go heavy on the burr. or brogue, whichever.

I'm from Scotland (technically). Introduce me. :P

When I was eighteen, there was a lovely and unspoken-for young co-worker name Rachelle who unwittingly turned up the color saturation in any room she entered (for me, anyhow). She was gorgeous, but charmingly shy. I was striken.

At the time I was of a rather shy nature myself, and lacked the resolve to overcome it and ask her out. I remained in this forlornly happy state for some weeks, finding any excuse to pass through her department to catch a glimpse, or a smiling hello, and I unfailingly walked away with shortness of breath and a spring in my step. She had the sort of smile that made her eyes sparkle. Ah.

Valentines day shortly arrived, and I came to work early. At her desk I deposited a half-dozen red roses along with a fanciful, complimentary note which confessed my preoccupation with her. I had even managed to overcome my inital cowardly intent of leaving it anonymously, and scratched my name on the bottom in blue ink. I hurried off before she arrived, and spent the remainder of the day trying to scrape up the courage to walk through her department, drinking gallons of water to stave off the cotton mouth. I cursed myself for the senseless, romantic lapse of shyness which put me in such a bind.

Near the end of the day, I "happened through" her area, part of me hoping she'd be away and I could have her co-workers tell her that I had been by. She wasn't away. When she saw me, she motioned me aside as her female co-workers smiled and giggled amongst themselves. The next bit was an oxygen-deprived blur... she thanked me, I asked her out, she said yes.

This story is getting long, isn't it? So sorry.

We went on our date a few days later. I tapped my small reserve of outgoingness, and managed to be not shy, and to in fact keep up a decent conversation on my end, but she was quite the opposite. She scarcely smiled, avoided eye contact expertly, and responded to my humor with the dreaded, fun-killing "polite laugh." She was nearly paralyzed with shyness from the moment the date started until the moment it ended. I had not anticipated this. I was unprepared.

I dropped her off, she thanked me for the lovely evening, and embarassed, she scurried into her house. The drive home was long and riddled with mild disappointment and bewildered reflection. I was still interested in her, but the evening had not gone terribly well.

After that, she seemed painfully embarassed and self-conscious to be around me. Being shy myself, I had no idea how to assure her that her embarassment was misplaced, and that I was still interested. Not only that, but her embarassment caused me to be embarassed, causing a feedback loop like the screeching of an active mic next to it's amp. Over time I tended to find routes that didn't intersect with her department at work.

I never asked her out again.

Oh HP she was just embarrsed that your fly was down !!!!!

I always keep my fly open... it's part of my "try it before you buy it" policy.

Thanks folks, i shall try this "confidence" thing you speak of :)