Dear Sister,

During the holidays it would be nice to have a conversation with you that does not include you being defense at every comment anyone else makes whether its about you, to you, or not anything to do with you. We would recommend midol or hormone replacement but not sure that covers "bitchy". At least its not a written symptom on the label.

Flouncing out of Mom's house as the injured party every year is getting old and boring. May we recommend 10,000 IU of Vit D some fish oil and maybe a happy pill?
KTHXBAI

Dear Family,

Thanks for sticking beside me when everyone else had given up. Thanks for always loving me, quirks and all. Thanks for making me laugh and even for making me cry. Thanks for being steadfast, sure, and strong. Thanks for believing in me when I least believe in myself. Thank you for 'micro-malts' and 'casting asparagus' and 'passing the butter bill', and requesting not 'one more peep.' (PEEP!) Thanks for opening the window and throwing up the hash. Thanks for bicycles and sleds and just enough freedom to find my own troubles. Thanks for making me learn to get out of my own troubles, and stepping in when I couldn't, or didn't know how. Thanks for being so hard on me when I tried to lie out of something, and teaching me integrity. Thanks for making me know that I can get knocked down but I won't stay down for long. Because I'm one of YOU. And one of US never stays down for long. Thanks for unconditional love.

Love,

Me

Dear Rich Cousin by Marriage,

Thank you for showing us all how to handle money. Yes we have gone back into restaurants to leave the tip you were "taking care of". You see we care what people think of us. I know it is shallow but that is what I am. When you joined MiL's kindle club my less than generous heart saw what would happen, but MiL is generous beyond her means. Now you want to add another device for your hubby so that he can benefit from her apparent willingness to buy school textbooks and pleasure reading for people whose income in the last decade easily outstrips her lifetimes employment. Now you're offended, but I thought we were not supposed to care what people think of us where money is involved? Please help me understand when we care what people think and when we don't.

without generosity,
Griff

Dear family,

thanks for a lovely weekend.

:) xxx

Dear beest....

the good news is I put an end to the vibration problem in the Focus and we no longer need to worry about getting all five of us and all our hockey gear in it.....

Whats that? Aden has a girlfriend? When did that happen? He cant be just getting girlfriends without us knowing about it?

Oh I didnt have a Dear Family entry....

Ummm....

Dear Siblings,

For the gazillionth time, I am not the spoiled brat of the family even though I am the youngest. Mum and Dad were never home when I was growing up, I worked after school out in the orchard so earnt my own money to buy aaaaalllll the things you think were handed to me, you wouldnt know this because by the time I was 7 you had all left home.

Can we please not have this conversation at Christmas this year? It makes me pissie, Mum tells me to bite my tongue and then I get really competitive during the family cricket test after Christmas Lunch and last year one of you copped a tennis ball in the eye.

Love Always,
Bitchy Little Brat

If you'd been here for the last 5 months you'd have known about it. ;)

She's really lovely. Her family are a bunch of control freaks though, so they don't get to see each other outside school much. We'll have to see how they go over the holidays. They've been seeing each other for over 6 months now.

Dear students,

With a 12:00 hand in, 11:55 is not an appropriate time to email me and tell me you've a problem.

That is all.

Nice usertitle ;)

Come and play cricket?

Dear Ducks,

Letting drunken Uncle Johnno swing the cricket bat while tipsy cousin Dave-o fields at silly point is a Bad Idea.

Love,

Your mum.

fucking stupid point you mean?

Dear student,

It is not my fault your aid was terminated at our school due to your lack of satisfactory academic progress. Also, I'm not your slave, serf, bondservent, vassal, chattel, or dog.

I'm happy to assist your new school by zeroing out future disbursements. All you need is to ask. Out of 25,000 students, I forgot to read your mind and realize your plans had changed since the origination was made.

Therefore, leaving a nasty message that anything we've done is unacceptable is, well, unacceptable. I will fulfill your request, but I sure as hell am not calling your bitchy underachieving ass back, due to the reasons stated in the first paragraph.

This will all be noted in your file, should you have any questions when you lose your aid at your new school (a Clown College, no doubt) and you decide to appeal due to our insufficient hand-holding as you bitched your way through your free money here.

Thank you, and have a blessed day.

Dear Financial Aid Officer,

Gimme what I want and give it to me now. Why? 'Cause I want it! Me me me me mememememe!

Disrespectfully,
Spoiled stupid (and probably ugly) ingrate