A 7 foot, four hundred pound bull queer needs to take a poke at Michael Moore.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

hmm

Maryjo was all over Bubba about getting breast argumentation.
He said,” no way, no money.” She told him to sell the bass boat or the 4 wheeler. Maybe get a loan.

Bubba, after giving this deep thought. Told her to get some toilet paper and rub between her breast a few times a day. She asked,” What in hell will that do?”
Bubba,” not sure, but take a look at your butt.”

That reminds me of a conversation between my buddy's late dad and this girl that ran with the dad. Dad was staying with my buddy at the time, and overheard this convo, shortened for brevity's sake:

Girlfriend, having said something like this for the second or third time in the conversation: I sure wish I had some bigger titties.

Buddy's dad, 75-ish, not in the best of health: I wish I had a ten inch dick that'd get hard, too, but, it don't look like it's gonna happen.

:lol2:

But just one...

Good idea.

Husband went to the Sheriff's Department to report that his wife was missing.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Colour of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Colour of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.

Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.

At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.

Heh.

Hey, somebody pick me up one of them pick-ups next time you go to town, and got an extra $65,000 in your pocket...Fukkit, just get two.

I bought one of those microwave fireplaces last week.

Now I can have a relaxing evening in front of the fire in just 20 minutes.