Le Royale w/cheese.[/Jules]

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN:

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe , well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece , gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel , has been through war and doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada , self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet , wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages, only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN:

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran , Ruled by Nuts!!.

What's the hardest part of learning to Rollerblade?




















Telling your parents that you're gay.

For me, it was having the elbow reset 2 times after dislocating it. :-)

Ow. I think I'd rather be gay

Either way, the first time will hurt. :-)

See there, that's the shit I missed.

:lol2:

See, they're at the Grey Matter Brain Bistro, see.

The menu reads Einstein, Edison, Tesla, Hawking...And on the Lite Menu? Lohan. :lol2:

Don't forget Today's Special...

Attachment 45684

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him.

As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, “It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.”

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.

At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, “When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m already here.”

:lol: Bruce, I do love you ...

Americas Misguided Children
TEACHER ARRESTED--SHOCKING.

A public school teacher was arrested today at Tampa International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

:D Obama's remark brought a question to my mind...

If we had evolved with only 2 fingers/hand and 2 toes/foot,
would we have invented computers sooner ?

*sigh*

That final paragraph might as well read, "And Obama fainted."

Here's a great crossword clue I just made up:

Misunderstood pin up girl


Betty Garble