Some puns Zing #1 pointed me to:

Why were the indians in America first?
They had reservations.

We had a class trip to the Coke factory.
I knew there would be a pop quiz.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop anytime.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.

But really, jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?


















Breathe! BREATHE!!!

Excellent!

Luvvit!
_________________________

Attachment 43132
Attachment 43133
Attachment 43134
Attachment 43135

You mean Bahston?

Today is Douglas Adams 61st Birthday. I checked out his daughter's twitter and saw this funny gem:

"I took my dog to the park to play frisbee with him. It was rubbish. I need a flatter dog."

Flatter dog. :lol2:

The reason Irish celebrate St. Patrick's Day is because St.Patrick drove the Norwegians out of Ireland.

It seems that some centuries ago, many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a famine at the time, and food was scarce. The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in the area, leaving the Irish with nothing to eat but potatoes.
St. Patrick, taking matters into his own hands, as most Irishmen do, decided the Norwegians had to go.

Secretly, he organized the Irish IRATRION (Irish Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians).
Irish members of IRATRION passed a law in Ireland that prohibited merchants from selling ice boxes or ice to the Norwegians, in hopes that their fish would spoil. This would force the Norwegians to flee to a colder climate where their fish would keep. Well, the fish spoiled, all right, but the Norwegians, as every one knows today, thrive on spoiled fish.

So, faced with failure, the desperate Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves in the dead of night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian invaders. But, as everyone knows, the Norwegians thought this only added to the flavor of the fish, and they liked it so much they decided to call it "lutefisk", which is Norwegian for "luscious fish".

Matters became even worse for the Irishmen when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop and making something called "lefse".

Poor St. Patrick was at his wit's end, and finally on March 17th, he blew his top and told all the Norwegians to "GO TO HELL". So they all got in their boats and emigrated to Minnesota or the Dakotas, the only other paradise on earth where smelly fish, old potatoes and plenty of cold weather can be found in abundance.

The End.

Skool ai'nt done learnt me nuttin.

Attachment 43247

:blush: That is a newscaster local to me. They get their graphics guys/gals from ND and St Mary's

Why is the man on the sign carrying a pocketbook?

j/k