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No, no, Tiger fart. Tora-no-kaze. Not Toro.

pilot jokes eh?

Q: What is the ideal cockpit crew?

A: A pilot and a dog...the pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.

----

Q: What's the purpose of the propeller?

A: To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!

-----

Overworked air traffic controller responding to the disoriented student pilot of a single-engine Cessna who is calling him on 121.5 MHz on a busy Saturday afternoon:

"Lost aircraft, say position."

ATC to pilot: Barnburner 1234A say altitude

BB 1234A: Altitude!

ATC: Barnburner 1234A please repeat. Say altitude.

BB 1234A: Altitude! <snicker>

ATC: Barnburner 1234A say "Terminating IFR"

BB 1234A: Altitude 5000

If life gives you melons, get checked for dyslexia.

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 833461)

I didn't like to point out Bullfart's typo, though...

I'm blaming auto correct

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 833629)

If life gives you melons,...

If life gives you melons...

...motorboat them puppies!!

And I grabbed this off of the internet a few moments ago....maybe this goes in the sometimes the stars align thread?

The story behind that headline is appalling.... a government official doing a CYOA.

Time World
Stephan Faris
Oct. 24, 2012

ITALY: The Aquila Earthquake Verdict: Where the Guilt May Really Lie

Quote:

When a judge in Italy ruled Monday that seven experts were guilty of manslaughter
for having failed to adequately warn citizens in the city of Aquila of a major earthquake,
the verdict was met in the courtroom by stunned silence.

Internationally, it was greeted with outrage.
Scientists claimed that science itself was on trial.
Columnists compared the conviction, in which each man was
sentenced to six years in prison, to the persecution of Galileo.

In Italy, on Tuesday, the head of the country’s disaster management agency resigned in protest.
But whatever one thinks of the judgment–and there are more reasons than not
to be concerned–the greatest danger may lie elsewhere: that anger over the verdict
will distract from the very real lessons the case has to offer.

At issue is a meeting of the seven defendants, then members of a board called the
National Commission for the Forecast and Prevention of Major Risks, in Aquila on March 31, 2009.
Small tremors had been rocking the area for months, light shocks
that rattled buildings and sent frightened citizens into the streets.
To make matters worse, a local resident who wasn’t a scientist was using
an unproved method of earthquake prediction, analyzing concentrations of radon gas
to forecast the time and place of tremors.
His findings–which proved unfounded–were being picked up by the local media, adding to the sense of panic.

It was into this environment that the Italian government called the seven defendants,
top men in their field, to a rare meeting outside of Rome.
It was to all appearances more of a publicity move than a real scientific evaluation.
Later, the Italian Daily La Repubblica would publish a wiretap transcript
in which top government official can be heard describing the meeting as a “media operation.”
We want “to calm down the public,” he says, speaking the day before the gathering.
“And instead of you and me…we’ll have the top scientists in the field of seismology talking.”

After the meeting, the government official on the commission gave a statement to the media.

Quote:

“The scientific community tells me there is no danger,
because there is an ongoing discharge of energy,” he said.

“The situation looks favorable.”

Six days later, the city was struck by a magnitude 6.3 earthquake.
The shaking was felt in Rome, a two-hour drive away.
Aquila’s historic city center–one of Italy’s largest–was devastated.
More than 300 people were killed. Another 1,600 were injured.
Thousands were left homeless.

<snip>

Yea, but, you got the joke right?

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using Tapatalk 2

Quote:

Originally Posted by regular.joe (Post 835573)

Yea, but, you got the joke right?

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using Tapatalk 2

Ummm, I guess so; but knowing the background of the headline, I also got the irony.
Without the background, it was (for me) just another PR ad by another oil company.

My girlfriend asked me to treat her like a princess; so I locked her in a tower

...so I crashed her car in a tunnel.

What?

Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio?

and on the dashboard and on the windshield, and ...