That's just wrong. Funny as hell, but wrong...:headshake

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims..

"YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun & $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. Your cousin is president of the United States

"The trouble with Obama jokes is Obama's supporters don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes."

What's the difference between a virgin, a whore and a bitch?












Well, a virgin fucks with no one, the whore fucks with anyone....




























...and the bith fucks with anyone....
... but you!

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, 'Somewhere I haven't been for a long time' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab?


One of them is shaking a fist; the other is fisting a Sheikh.

Great!

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Mohamed's first day of school

Mohamed entered his classroom on the first day of school.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohamed," he replied.

"You're in America now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin."

Mohamed returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohamed?" his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohamed. I'm in America and now my name is Kevin."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
And his mother beat him.

Then she called his father, told him what happened and he beat him again.

The next day Mohamed returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises.

"What happened to you, Kevin? she asked.

"Well ma'am, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by two fuckin' Arabs

A guy gets out of prison after two years. His wife and kids pick him up at the main gate.

The guy says to his wife, "F.F." His wife responds, "E.F." The man says, no "F.F." The wife says, "No way-E.F."

This goes on for about five minutes before one of the kids asks, " What the hell are you people talking about?"

The father responds " Your mom wants to eat first."

What's red, screams and goes around in circles?


A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.

Two years ago, for Valentine's Day you gave her flowers. They lasted a day.
Last year, you gave her a box of chocolates. It lasted a week.
This year, give her herpes. It'll last forever.

Bob walks into his local pharmacy and the pharmacist say:
- "Hey there Bob, what can I get ya?"
- "A box of condoms" replies Bob.
- "Condoms?" says the pharmacist. "You and the wife having safe sex now.?"
- "Naw, there for my daughter" says Bob.
- "Your daughter?Cindy! Shes only 15. Your daughter is sexually active at 15?!" says the pharmacist.
- "Active! Hell no she isnt active" says Bob. "She practically just lays there!"

What's the difference between a whore and a pet shop seller ?



The whore can sell the same pussy more than once...




...provided that is has been cleaned

The Eagles announced on their FB page that ex-coach Buddy Ryan is battling cancer. I got on there and posted, "beat this like an offensive coordinator."