well. i learned a doozie just this very moment. jinx, as is so often the case, opened my eyes to something:

male lactation. springing frm a conversation about my itchy left nipple. joking that i might have padget's disease (something else i learned today) Padgets disease is a type of skin cancer that begins with itchy nipples, or something. i said, well i don't have mammaries, so......but aparently that is untrue. i DO have mammaries. we all do.

maybe i'm stupid, but i honestly did not know this. maggie knows, i'm sure. apparently juju does too.

Today I learned if I start procrastinating and rationalizing why I should wait to shovel the snow, God will shut off my power and not turn it back on for an hour and a half after I'm done shoveling. :rolleyes:

Today I learned that Dick Cheney really is evil. :D

Today I learned that you can drop a Lexmark printer three feet and have it survive.

I just learned that so-called female circumcision, a practice in effect in parts of Africa and the Middle East, is far more horrible than its euphemistic title would suggest. I'm anti-circumcision in either sex anyway, but I always thought that in females it meant cutting off the hood of the clitoris, or even the entire thing. Turns out that's a luxury reserved for females of the higher classes. In poor rural and/or nomadic tribes it involves cutting off the clitoris and labia and then sewing the edges of the wound together to create a tiny aperture for blood and urine to pass through. In the higher classes they use anesthesia and needles with linen thread; the poorest classes just hold it all together with thorns until it passes for being healed. Many women have infections from the procedure or incur them later because all the waste gets trapped inside. Sometimes a woman's menstrual blood will back up and create a solid mass. The resultant swelling is mistaken for pregnacy and the woman is murdered to save the family's honor. In any case, before she can even have sex the scar has to be cut open and lots of women who make it without dying of blood loss or infection will die in childbirth.

That female circumcision is the hardest thing I've ever watched on TV. The older women hold the screaming young uns down while one of the elders butchers her. And then, she gets thorns shoved through the tender, raw remaining flesh. On the wedding night, the husband cuts an opening that he considers just the right size for his pleasure, and then runs around waving the bloodied knife to show proof that his bride was "pure". But when baby time comes, usually right about nine months later, it is frequently discovered that the new husband's "just right sized" opening turns out to not be the right size for a baby's head to come through without ripping and tearing the young girl, many die giving birth to their first child. For sure - some traditions do NOT need to be taught and carried on to the younger generations.

What I learned today is that if you start doing extra little things at work, that very quickly these little chores somehow become "Your job" or "Your Duty, then they very quickly become Your Responsibility.

To quote Bob Newhart on SNL: "Stop It!"

Seriously, just stop it, dear.

My first ever boyfriend lives in the same city as me (70 miles from where we both lived originally) and is Director of the annual Comedy Festival.

Maybe next year when I'm not double the weight he knew me at, I'll get in contact!

How true is that! I've been trying to do that with my antique IBM computer!

I learned what a boong is (Aussie slang). :eyebrow:

And I learned about Boong-Ga Boong-Ga! :redface:

I'm not certain I'm better off with either piece of knowledge.

Today I learned what happens when I forget to check on my heating oil level.

Brrrrr!

Brian

"...or I'll bury you alive in a box."

A true classic.

Today, I learned why Timor was so important to 18th century sailors. Seems that due to geological weirdness, Timor was the ONLY place in Monsoon Asia where you could dry your sails out and repair them. Has something to do with how the island is and how the rains fall, etc., but it made Timor very important. Now, not so much.

He may be deeper than that, you know? A few years of maturity can make physical attributes take a backseat to spiritual and psychological attributes in the eye of the beholder. Well, that, and an offer of uninhibited, no-commitment sex...

By now he may have discovered how much more comfortable full figured women are. ;)

Comfortable? Like as in they feel more comfortable about themselves, or that they feel more comfortable to others?

I think he meant more padding.

I beleve the saying is " More Cushin for the Pushin !! "

No offince intended , I can't STAND those skin and bones "Uber Models "

A few days ago I learned that I know NOTHING about Large Corp financeing ,
Adjusted totals , "Fuzzy" math and all that .

The boys got it right. ;)

Being one...i can tell ya, it's a little bit of both. (Or well...the feeling part has been told to me *G*)

I learned today...that somethings, just never change.

But nothings never don't not always ever change.http://www.cellar.org/images/smilies/wink.gif

I've learned that the older I get, the longer the hangover lasts

i re-learned that no matter what i do i will be wrong. but i'm probably mistaken about that.

Today I learned that if someone shows you a picture of their child, it's not "politically correct" to say "Hey, look at the monkey riding a tricycle".

Today, I learned that I don't have to get up at 7:30. I can sleep in till, oh, say, 7:45!

I learned that a paint sprayer, which is supposed to make painting easier, doesn't, necessarily, especially when you knock over the resevoir. :rar:

Round wimmin R YUMMY! :doit: :lovers: :love2: :love2:

Today, I learned that plastic explosives smell sweet and some guy (at Auburn?) trained honeybees to go after that smell. These bees will fly to and hover over the plastic land mines, marking them for removal. But, sometimes, they don't go to the CLOSEST mine. That's a problem.

I also learned that I don't want any civet cat coffee, thanks.

PS-I also learned that France had f*cked up Vietnam LOOOOOONG before the US got into it. So there-*stares*-all you Frenchies*.

*meaning dov.

The sad part is we gave the keys back to the French after we rolled the Japanese.

Someone's been watching apocolypse now...

I learned today that when the inch3 says "I'm not going to be shy" he means he doesn't feel like seeing his playmates and wants to be left alone.

Although he speaks english, he has different meanings for some of the words.

I learned today that I have blank spots from a dinner party I hosted on Saturday night. Because of that I've learned not to have too many post dinner ports...after pre dinner cocktails and during dinner wines. :eyebrow:

DNA those spots and find out who's responsible. ;)

Hmmm...I meant memory lapses. What do you mean?

They are called black outs, it’s a sign.

Next to raising children, there is nothing greater than being capable of helping a friend in need.

My mother tongue is English.

Both Grandfathers from England, Manchester and Leeds, one Grandmother who loved Czar Nicholas but had to escape in 1917, other Grandmother born in Montreal, her parents Eastern European.

I speak English, French only for business or sex. I speak French alot. I can read in four languages. Speak three.

I don’t accept the label frenchies. It is shallow, ignorant and bigoted. I expect an apology. Won't put a dent in you I am sure. You will rationalize you are right. Prove away, I don’t give a dam. I know who and what you are.

How many languages do you communicate in?

dov, you ignorant slut. My mother is French Canadian, her mother tongue is French. Don't be such a schmendrick.

Today I learned that I don't have enough time OR money.

Yesterday I learned that you don't need money to turn someone into a raving asshole. Sometimes just the promise of money will do.

Today I learned that schmendrick means "Fool", "Jerk" in Yiddish. :lol:

I learned today that bullshit is fun to shovel, no matter how far away it's flung from.

hmmm, knowing that brianna has a freaky side i'd say that she speaks at least 5 languages. english, french, russian, a couple of asian languages, and who knows - maybe even greek.

Can't spell it, either. Unless you're a beaver of course, in which case that would make sense.

oooh, I bet she's scared :worried:

grief! :rolleyes: is that the best you can do?

------

So much for my posting something enlightening and witty for my 100th MILESTONE post! :lol:

Today, I learned that I cannot have two really restful nights in a row. I slept like a baby last night (10 hours!) but, tonight, I was awake at 2:30 and can't get back to sleep. I blame years of 12 hour night-shifts for this. DAMMIT!

I take it you are the community knight in shining armour. Get a lot of action playing that role?

I take it you are the community schmendrick? Yes?

Women are supposed to be soft, aren't they? :yum:

Today I learned that the best laid plans can be ruined by an untimely visit by the POTUS to a semi- secure gov't building.... what a drag. :headshake

Today I learned that the company I'm working for is reshuffling people...and that if you look at "the big picture", it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things.

POTUS?

you mean BOFUS?

:thumb: You got it foot x 3!!
and to make it worse, not one of my "higher ups" cared that it was Gdub that made me late for my meeting... damitall.

Oh dear, now they'll probably exile you to some remote place like......Arizona. :lol:

People from all around the world...and parts of Alabama have been to/been exiled to Arizona.
Georgia would be the place.... nobody looks for nothing down here but rednecks. ;)

I think FF is already being exiled to New Mexico to be left to the mercy of the Navajo and the vinergaroons. ;)

Damn G-dub... Damn vinegaroons...Damn being exiled... :mg:

Well at least I get out of the crazy DC traffic!!

Today, I learned that if you put a chipmunk in a blender with two scoops of double-chocolate chip mint ice cream and a cup of Sambuca, it makes a bitchin' shake.

I learned it's time to hang up my gig bag. I no longer have the edge I need to play.