Hey there magic man with the ball of eight - Is there any chance that which was will be again?

I must say I'm impressed with the Magic8Ball's erudition. And balls.

(must think of question!)

Oh Magic 8 ball , will Any of the fuckers I work with EVER get a clue ???

Magic 8 Ball, why is the spawn of Billy Ray Cyrus so fucking popular?

Oh great 8 ball, why are parents and coaches so full of petty complaints and grumbling?

Oh magic 8 ball...well wi evir red the wurld uv stoopiditee?

Magic eight ball...Why are these questions going unanswered?

Magic eight ball...Where are you?

Yeah Magic 8 Ball
I wanted to ask you about my hair...

.. but you weren't here so I did it anyway!
And now I'm not sure about it!

Can you sue a Magic 8 ball?

Try again later.

Ok I liked this thread.. Straight to the point....who is willing to step in as the magic eight ball?

Who is the most benign sage we have here? These questions deserve an answer!

If you're looking for "benign" this may be the wrong place.

Sorry, I'm malignant.

I'd like to nominate Els. Just saying.

Seconded.

Well. Malignant sages do sound more interesting....Benign sage...benign sage....hmmmm.............

Magic 8-ball has a friggin life, people, a career, kids, a Mrs. 8-ball. Sometimes he goes away for a few months. Sheesh.

Friggin Vultures.

OK, the magic 8-ball will resume his mission of enlightenment. Ask on.

Because she can sing like a bad-ass, you jaded curmudgeon. She's got more talent in one hinge of her heavily-branded lunchbox than you do in your whole record collection!

You're so cynical, you probably think it's some kind of latent cultural pedophilia, don't you? DON'T YOU! Well, it's not. Now go away, the magic 8-ball is trying to jerk it to Brenda Song.

Small kingdoms make petty tyrants.

At least you didn't say Mrs. 8-ball and chain! :D

:notworthy

That explains sooooooo much.

Anyone ever watch student politics?

O Magic 8 Ball, will Lightfall lower its price again?

magic 8 ball: do the signs point to yes?

By the way, I've been saying that for years, thinking it was a common saying.

Turns out, not so much! From now on, I'm claiming it as an original.

M8B needs more info.

should I colour my hair pink, orange, purple or blue>?

Yes.

The magic 8 ball refuses to be constrained by your arbitrary use of the conjunction "or".

MonkeyBoy has a simple question: "Will I get a hand job?"

No, it will be done mostly by machine. Only the finish stitching will be done by hand.

Magic 8 ball
I have one remaining hive - should I still go to the doctors?

Doctors? Plural? Jesus H, no wonder your NHS is so f'd up.

You should still go see the doctor. By the time you actually get in to see one, the hives will be gone, but some new and utterly magnificent physical malady will have taken its place. Probably sexually transmitted.

Best to get in line early.

Just to clarify, Magic 8 ball, we say the doctors as shorthand for The Doctors' Surgery - a place where a number of GPs practice. Seven in my case. This concentration means you can get an appointment same-day as long as you don't need to see a specific GP.

It works wonderfully. Nerrrrrrrr.

And the only way I'd catch an STD right now is... well - there isn't any way. I lose faith with your powers :(

This is a two part question:

Magic 8 ball- Will I have a job soon that won't begin with enthusiasm, only to end in doom and dread at the thought of showing up for it? Will I be paid fairly?

The Magic 8 Ball thinks you should start filling out applications at Starbucks. You won't love it, but you also won't want to gnaw your fingers down to greasy nubbins every time you clock in. It won't make you rich, but if you mind your pennies, it will keep you from going flat broke.

Everybody wins! Now go fetch the magic 8 ball a grande drip in a venti cup, with a double add-shot and a slice of warm condescension. And no, I do NOT tip my barista.

The quiet book store for minimum wage it is then! Thank you magic 8 ball!:D

In case you were wondering:this won't prevent me from serving you a nice hot cup of stfu.:p

Magic 8 Ball, is there anything we should know about the whereabouts and fates of Magic Ball 1 through 7?

Sources are hazy.

Magic 8 ball- Is PETA ever going to be ethical?

majick eight ball, are you holdin'?

Magic 8 ball - Will Palin or Biden be president?

Magic 8 Ball -- I don't have a question, I just wanted to thank you for dropping into the pocket when I was playing pool a couple weeks back. It was a tough shot.

Magic 8ball - will people ever learn the government is not designed or equipped to fix everything?

Umm. I am here to point out the prophetic nature of the magic eight ball. I might be serving coffee soon. And burritos. Would you like red or green with that magic eight ball, or christmas style? (red and green)

Unfortunately I might be doomed if no one calls soon, and this coffee shop actually does hire me like they are suggesting. Fu*@!!

Cicero, the House Committee on Strong Language has approved your full use of the F-word when discussing the situation you discussed above.
But your restraint is noted.

Magic 8-ball, should we buy that house? Even in this economy? Or just keep pissing money down the rent rat-hole?

I'm not the magic 8 ball, but house prices are down, and it's a good time to be a buyer rather than a seller. Assuming you can get a loan.

The Chicago Tribune knows Pie?

PETA uses "Ethical" in two different ways. When referring to the actions of medical researchers, meat industry, and pet owners, they use a Natural Law standard which applies value to all beings capable of sentience, and no beneficial outcome can triumph that inherent value.

For their own actions, however, they use the a utilitarian standard; the ends justify the means, and a good enough ends justifies any means.

They have this double standard in common with all fundamentalists and ideologues.

The judgments of TM8B are in no way compromised by the use of mind-altering drugs, and I resent the insinuation otherwise, brah.

Upon McCains death (early 2010), Palin will be the female president sworn in. She will neglect the duties of the presidency, however, to focus on a reading tour of her poetry:

“You Can’t Blink”

You can’t blink.
You have to be wired
In a way of being
So committed to the mission,

The mission that we’re on,
Reform of this country,
And victory in the war,
You can’t blink.

So I didn’t blink.

(To C. Gibson, ABC News, Sept. 11, 2008)
(link)

As long both major parties run on the platform of "Government will fix this for you", each new generation will grow up with an increasing expectation that this is so.

What, you thought TM8B was just jackin' with you? This shit is real, man, totally real.

Oh wow, the colors. The colors. Dude, what was in that pie, man?

Soy. I put soy in your chilli. Didn't you ask for a soy chilli latte?

And the gov't time on said projects is billable. Let's not forget. :)

If you plan to live in the house for 10 years, then yes, go ahead and buy it. If you're going to live there for 5 years, do not buy it. Somewhere in between, shake the ball and try again.

GENTLY, damn it, shake me GENTLY. My god, you people are uncouth.

Dear Mr Ball,

Please forgive them. They have no knowledge of your inner workings, of the smooth viscosity through which your finely angled answers come. Education, my friend. Do you have any links to 8-ball autopsies?

Thank you,

Speaker of the Masses

I don't know why you would want such a thing, other than pure voyeuristic ghoulishness, but here you are.

Oh god, the horror. They didn't even properly anesthetize the ball ahead of time

OMG the horror!

Seriously, how funny is it that you found that? I love the interwebz.

from the link -
Here comes PETA!

Magic 8 ball, are you threatened by Ouija board practitioners?

Decidedly so.