its like my mother told me LONG ago "the party goes with you !!!"
In his case its a privet party !!

Well, there you go!

Reminds me of what my daughter says when she's mad at us:

Well, you're not coming to my birthday party!

She has recently mastered 'the look' whilst brandishing this threat. Oy.

I was describing the finer points of Goa'uld symbiotes in Stargate and how they prolonged life in their hosts. 12yo asks, "Does that mean they keep living until they die?"

Every time our three year old gets into trouble now he says, very seriously "trusssst me".

See... makes perfect sense.:right:

What is f-d-up is that I've lived with one long enough that it does to me *hits head wth brick*.:mad:

Inch: "Do Dinosaurs like to eat mice?"
Foot: "Well, mice weren't around when the dinosaurs were alive. They died a long time ago, before the mice came, so no, the dinosaurs didn't even have mice to eat."
Inch: "Dinosaurs like to eat mice."
Foot: "Yeah, you're right."

You are a smart man.:cool:

i thought that early mammals were around toward the end of the dinosaurs' reign.....like mice an voles

They were but they would only come out at night. Dinosaurs were warm-blooded so they might have been out as well, but I don't think they would have bothered them much except for a small snack.

So I'm not as smart as a preschooler, let alone a fifth grader?

Right.

Get used to it, it is strictly downhill for the next 20 years minimum. I promise.

From my wife's blog.

Don Juan de Elmo
Current mood: confused
Category: Life

My niece, Misty and I decide we are going to take my son, Finn bowling. In the lane next to us is a family and two little girls which appear to be approximately 8 years old. So we are bowling and having a great time and Finn keeps giving these two girls the eye. Now these girls are no slouches. They are cute, trendy 8 year olds and they are not giving this 3 year old a second look. Well, Misty goes to get a pitcher of coke and I tell Finn that we will take a rest while we wait for her to come back. Instead of sitting next to me, he goes over to the next lane and sits right next these two girls. While the girls start to look at each other, rolling their eyes, Finn begins to woo them with his uncanny ability to emit faux burps. Ah yes. He brought out the big guns right away. What 8 year old could resist the fake belch? The girls turn to each other and start to smile. I am absolutely amazed at what happens next. With the finesse of a seasoned pro, he looks them in the eyes, leans in, raises an eyebrow and says, "You rock!" Both girls look at each other, blush and begin to giggle incessantly. He is all of 5 minutes past 3 ½ years old and is putting the moves on two 8 year olds and it is working!

By now, Misty has come up on this scene and is also standing in amazement, watching as this mini-Don Juan works his magic. Finn turns to me and says, "Mama, they like me." He then, gives me a look and a nod as if to say "watch this." Finn goes up to the first girl and gives her a full on body hug. She looks at him and smiles and then he does the same to her friend. Both girls are as red as ripe strawberries already when while their guard is down he moves in to give the first girl a full on kiss on the lips. Her friend starts to giggle and then he leans over and gives her a kiss too! These girls are now in hysterics and their father is looking at me like, "lady, what kind of little ho-dog are you raising?" Finn is full of himself, feeling about 10 feet tall. He knows he has both girls exactly where he wants them. I am in shock at the whole scene and don't really know what to think to be honest. I say, "C'mon Casanova, it's time to come back to your own lane." Misty told me that I was in for some trouble when he gets older. I think she is right. I mean if he can have 8 year olds eating out of his hands when he is only 3 ½ what am I to do when he is a teenager? Of course, all I could think of that night when we got back to our lane is, "wouldn't his Daddy be proud if he could have seen him?" Is that sick or what?

:rotflol::notworthy

Oh, I've got tha' fear, no doubt.

rkzenrage--that is a fabulous story. Terrifying as a mother of a daughter, :D but fabulous.

This begs the question, nature vs. nurture papa? Heh, heh, heh !!

Well, together they are 16 so I guess it's ok. ;)

I think it is nature not being stifled by nurture. The inch is a lot smoother already than I ever was or will be. A few weeks ago he was giving his sitter a shoulder rub, then putting his hand on her shoulder and looking smolderingly into her eyes.

I can hardly pull that off with my own wife, but then I had a decidely wierd upbringing where those sorts of things were stifled.

So I say it's a mix of both.

There is a new Finn story... omg, I need help.

That boy has a great future... hell he has a great now.

Does he give lessons??

nope, seems youre doing fine. :)

My eldest daughter, now fully grown, had a thing for Kenny Rogers when she was four or five. She loved to sing his version of Lucille, but it came out like this:

You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hundred children and a crop in the field

a friend's son had an awful time teething. he would bite chunks out of ordinary teethers, so he tried to find a solid silver victorian teether. no success. he also tried engineering works for steel rings. no success, but they suggested stainless surgical steel. so he went to a body piercing shop and bought a wide diameter circular ring. yeah youve guessed it : his son was teethed on a large cock - ring.

He tried this on the pretty lady at Albersons this morning, mom would not let him kiss her, he has a cold.

That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!!!!:eek:
I would give my little toe for a picture of that. I am not exaggerating.

i thought it was pretty cool when he told me about it. if his son wasnt 12 years old now, i would ask my mate if i could get a photo of it for a friend in Florida.:D

A couple days ago I checked out the CD "Hilary Hahn Plays Bach" from the library. I was showing it to Mrs. Dallas when our son walked by, caught it out of the corner of his eye, and did a double-take. "Hey, is that Hilary Duff??"

Hey, tell him yes and he may develop an appreciation for baroque music!

Ahhh, music.

From the other room I heard a ... a ... chipmunks / Weird Al sounding rendition of a familiar tune. By the time I got to the source in the living room, SonofV was cracking up and the music was over. I looked at the screen and it showed a bunch of stills of slugs, menu choices from the bonus features section of the newly acquired Flushed Away dvd (a very funny movie). I asked him "What was that!?" And he looked at me with that is-this-a-trick-question? look on his face, and answered in all seriousness "Miserlou, dad".

I 'bout choked. Of course he was right, the little guys were doing a cover of Dick Dale's masterpiece. They really really *are* paying attention. w00T!

Thor (5) has just learned that sentences need a pyramid at the end.

Of course they do. Knowledge like that will come in handy if he writes in a gerbil. You know, a gerbil . . . like a book of paper you can write stuff in. (Credit my daughter, from about the same age.)

This is a great thread....gotta love the way kids minds work.

My grandson will be 4 next month....several months ago he was playing doctor with mommy and checked her eyes and ears and nose. All was okay. Then he said, "Open your mouth big Mommy!" She did, he looked in and saw the uvula (hanging thing) in the back of her mouth and said, "Mommy! You have a pecker in your mouth!"

Last night we were talking to the kids about being an organ donor and we were explaining the whole process to them, including the fact that in most cases, if we donate organs it's because we've died before we were old and our organs were used up. Obviously this meant that the kids made the connection to us maybe dying while we're still youngish, so it led to a discussion about burials and funerals etc.

After we'd stopped chatting, my son Aden sat and thought for a minute and then asked, "Mum, when you die, do you want to be crucified or buried". I told him I didn't really care, but that I'd rather be cremated than crucified.

Not me... if I had a choice I would much rather be crucified! In my leather jacket, sprinkled with birdseed!

You want the birds to eat you?

Yup.

This morning, dad was in the shower, I was brushing my teeth and the pup was on the floor with her blanket. Dad made a comment about a 'f*ckin' show... and I said WHAT!! since the little one was right there. She pipes back with, ''he said ...puppet show, mom.''

He's lucky he gets to let that swear word slide... :rolleyes:

I don't blame you. I want to die getting nailed with peckers all over me too.

There's a famous one from the theatre, starring Rex Harrison IIRC:

During a performance of My Fair Lady, Rex had gas. And then he couldn't hold it any more:

"Manners? My manners are the same as Colonel Pickering's." --BRRRRAAPP! Brought the house down.

It's almost too bad it didn't, er, transpire in an earlier scene:

"Pickering, this is going to be ghastly."

[SFX]

"You're right, Higgins. It is ghastly."

a friends daughter was allowed to go to the bar to get herself a snack. she asked the barmaid "are you a man?" the barmaid said "no sweetheart, i'm a woman. what can i get you?" friends daughter ordered her snack, took it from the barmaid and said "wel, you look like a man to me."

Damn! It got chilly in here~

I can't wait to see how Young Master Dallas' teacher reacts to this bit of homework.

Excellent, STeve! A chip off the old block.

My niece and family were eating pizza one night, and Jeopardy was on the kitchen tv. The "answer" was "what is a pond?" Anna, totally incredulous, says "That guy doesn't even know what a POND is!"

Not really... I prefer a modest sedan myself.

HAHA, you teach him steve.

Master Dallas and Master rkzenrage. Don't let those two guys meet in college, they'll end up being the next generation's Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong.

I had a bad day (I work for attorneys... so, you know, most of them are) and I was explaining to Scully, my 6 year old daughter, upon picking her up from school, that I had had a bad day, and to please be on extra good behavior for a little while until I was able to improve my attitude. She asked why it was a bad day, and I explained that I had had a disagreement with Mr. Bill, one of the attorneys, and I felt as though he was being terribly unfair and blaming me for a problem that he created.

Now, normally, I didn't go into detail like this, but around that time, she had a habit of coming home and complaining every day about someone in her class and how they "ruined" her whole day by skipping her inline, or not wanting to play her game, or some other equally silly thing, so I was trying to point out that it happens to everyone, and that sometimes you need to talk and have a few minutes to change your attitude. I was trying to set an example.

Well, it so happens that there was a teacher work day the following day, and I had to take Scully into work with me.

We weren't there an hour when Mr. Bill, who had previously spoken to me earlier that morning and we had resolved our issue, came up to me and handed me a piece of paper that had been given to him by my daughter. It read:

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f2...ines/babes.jpg

To Mister Bill
I hered you havent ben nice to my mommy so can you be more nicer to her and if you want to no hoo toled me it is my mommy Love Scully

Now, not only did she completely embarrass me, but then she totally made it a point to throw me under the bus. No loyalty, I tell ya!

Smurf, that is great! :)

Under the bus?! No, no no nonono... the truth will set you free! You have a fierce advocate there, a champion dedicated to the defense of her beloved mother. You have done very well as a mother and I am awed by your articulate, self possessed, loving daughter. You have a lot to be proud of.

lol, okay, you might have a point BigV...

but how about the times when she was about 3 years old when we were in public restrooms and she asked if I wiped good, or what was that white thing going in my vagina...

(my apologies for TMI)

Our summer pool opens tomorrrow. Tonight board members and members who helped prepare the pool got a sneak preview. Thor (5) was so excited. He remembered how last year (when he had just learned to bike without training wheels and was tiny and cute and stole all heart in the bike parade) he got the "speared award". The way they say Spirit round here sounds like speared, so I said "Oh the spirit award?" He said "No, speared. SPEARED. spelled SPIRD." So I said do you mean like a good team member, having fun? He said "No , Speared, like warrior". Well he's proud of it anyway. :lol:

I was planning to send mine to do his undergraduate work in your lab. I figure you'll straighten him out if anybody can.

At about the same age, when using a public restroom was still a novelty, Mrs. Dallas was taking my daughter somewhere on Sunday. We had been to church, and there had been Communion. She had to go to the bathroom, and while they were there in the stall taking care of business, the little girl started saying very clearly, "Body of Christ, given for you! Body of Christ, given for you!" As Mrs. Dallas said to me, "I can only imagine what kind of religious freaks everybody thought we were."

Jacquelita's daughter yesterday: "Hey Mom, I got the Pepsi scholarship. It's like $500."

Jac: "That's great! What did they say you did to earn it?"

Daughter: "I dunno... I didn't think I had a chance at getting anything, so I didn't pay attention until they called my name."

My son's second grade class went on a field trip to Dutch Wonderland this week. Mrs. Dallas went along as a chaperone. Among other things, they saw a play. Two of my son's friends decided they really liked the princess... liked her so much, in fact, that they went up to her and gave her their phone numbers. :eek:

(I asked my son if he did too, and he said no. When I asked him why not, he said, "That's just idiotic. I mean, she must be, like, 20!")

Not funny, but friggin beautiful...

(as I'm tucking her into bed, age 5)
Mommy?
Yeah?
I know what I want to be when I grow up.
Oh really? What have you decided on this week?
I don't want to be a teacher or a builder. I want to be an artist. Some people are just meant to be something.

He told my wife he wanted a tattoo on his butt of "blocks with 'mom' on it" yesterday.

Tonight we were having a bit of a talk after dinner and hubby and I were giving our oldest boy a bit of stick about the number of girlfriends he has had, at which point I stated that he'd changed g/f's more often than he'd changed his underpants. His response to this was, "I've only had 7 g/f's. I've changed my undies 10 times this year."

today's gem...
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f2...shlist2007.jpg

My 5-year-old stepson came up out of nowhere today and asked me, "You know that woman, that relative on the syrup bottle?"

Long pause.

"Uh... You mean Aunt Jemima?"
"Yeah!"
"What about her?"
"Why do you think they put her on the bottle?"
"Well, I think maybe they hope people will think she looks like she's a really good cook, so the syrup must be really tasty."

"Oh. My mom says that they chose her because her skin is the color of maple syrup."

...

"Uh... Okay. That's... a strange thing for your mom to think."