Sorry, went back and fixed in after you posted... was talking to CM.

I like the squirt gun idea. when she yammers, squirt her. but don't laugh afterward, just go back to being quiet.

Or a Laundry basket full of tennis balls

I had a yowling cat that I used the "squirt bottle and a handful of shoes" method with: squirt squirt squirt until out of range and then start launching shoes until the cat is under a piece of furniture in the room farthest from you...throw an extra few shoes just to "set" the under-furniture position.

Works with yowling kids too.

The principal difference is that kids are smart enough to remember what the squirt bottle looks like.
Downside: they cower in fear when you're just picking up shoes out of the floor before vacuuming.

Your downside is my bonus effect.

Your backside is my bonus effect.

This might actually work! Or make her cry. Either way.

win win

I love to see sociopathic hyperbole in the morning...:p

It says something about a person when they think a dislike of moron-babble and a desire to maintain personal boundaries is "sociopathic"... tell me, do you also enjoy shopping malls and reality shows?

No she has Cows

Sounds painful!

Newsflash! Not every comment on this thread is for or directed at you:rolleyes:

But Vana , Its ALL About the TIKI !!!

Not fair. We all of us clash from time to time with friends, especially, if they are housemates. There must be a place to vent without hurting them. Why the fuck shouldn't Tiki talk about her here? It doesn't reflect badly on their friendship at all. When I lived with my mum after J and I split, she drove me to distraction. I am a very solitary person and I don't do chit chat unless I am 'socialising'. When it got too much I would rant about her to my best friend. I was being unfair about her in some ways, but not in others. I was likely as frustrating to be around, if not more so. My spouting annoyance about Ma didnt mean I'd changed how I felt about her. It's just offloading.

Tiki: clearly the only way for you to deal with this is, as you said, find a more concrete way of marking out your silent space. A room with a lockable door seems a bloody good idea. Might I also suggest that when she shouts something from another room, you just ignore it. If it truly is important, she'll surely come find you in the office. If it's just more random stuff she's not so likely to make a journey to say it ( I assume?).


[eta} went back and edited this staright after posting. Part of it had been rendered obsolete. I hadn't read the last 2 pages and was unaware that peace had broken out.

:D I do that to my cats sometimes.

My ex talks like that when he's high. When we were first going out, we went to Florida to visit his mom. I had to ask him to please be quiet for a few minutes, that I just needed some silence. He shut up until I told him he could talk again, which was about 5 minutes. Once in a while I still have to tell him he's talking too much. He's a pretty good sport about it though.

Well, it is a thread entitled "Tiki Bitches About..."

Thanks, Dana! I appreciate that. At some point I will be able to finish the upstairs room, in the meantime I have to figure out how to make it more clear that this space is my WORK space and I need to not be disturbed when I'm in here. Because just telling her isn't working... :lol:

This kind of thing can so easily escalate lol. All it takes is handful people to be a little less patient that they normally are, or to reach more readily for offence and we quickly start drawing lines in the sand.

Given that I am apparently mistaken about peace breaking out, I am going to repost the paragraph I deleted:

Please, please, can we all just think about the fucking children just for once?

When I was in the Marines , liveing in a squad bay , think 40 or so guys , every now and then the noise would get to much , i had some flight line head phones , i'd put those on and just ZONE out ,
or if I REALLy got sick of Humanity I would just go away for the week end , it was 10 miles to the beach over the Hills , easy walk , I would just go hide from the MPs that were patrolling for intruders,
the solitude was Verry refreashing ,
exept one morning i was awoken by a Full Marine Amphibious Landing !!! Im talking Ships off shore , helos over head , amphibious landing crafts motering tward the beach , i just grabbed my stuff and faded into the back ground .

oh did I mention this was a Military training area ??

FOR ZIPPYT:
I hope you had on the right uniform! LOL

this thread= that scene in White Men Can't Jump where Rosie tells Woodie that she is thirsty, and then breaks his balls for getting her a glass of water.

:thepain: this is why sex ed needs to be taught in our schools.

Or teach em all to be whiny bitches. Then their odds of having sex at all are fairly narrowed.

Don't bother. I've read enough of your anti-social, selfish shit. Save yourself a few keystrokes. I'm not reading your dribble anymore anyway.

drivel

Salivation?

dribble: salivation

drivel: words to be disdained

Salvation: what saves you

Salvage: What you save.

saliva nation: and now for a musical interlude.

Slavic nation: Serbia

Indignation: uh.....it rhymes?

You said you weren't reading my posts a while before I posted my response to Jim... do you have a date set for that yet? Or are you playing it by ear?

I have a new conspiracy theory. Jim is actually an English teacher in disguise. He uses his good-ole-boy car-dealer persona to hide the fact that mistakes in English usage drive him nuts. Remember his semi-colon period? That was to throw us off the track.

Whaddaya think? :tinfoil:

i think you want me. that's what i think

Don't we all? ;)

Tiki, don't be rude and disrespectful. Hopefully you don't treat people in real life like you do here. UT was at first giving helpfull advice, just because you don't want to take it, doesn't make him, or anyone else a jerk. If you don't like it ignore it. Just like you should ignore your roommate. I don't fucking care if you're on the internet, disrespect is disrespect no matter what form it takes. If you would talk to another person in real life like you did to UT, and Dana awhile ago, then you deserve to be slapped. Just because you're typing your disrespect rather than saying it, makes no difference. Its still rude and uncalled for.

I'm just using you to get to Jinx. ;)

:kisspink:Tiki, Oh my God, I think you are my long lost twin!! I read through this thread and kept thinking "Yes! GO Tiki!"
I'd be that pissed too if someone was getting all chatty with me in the morning.

It appears to me that some people are trying to get a rise out of you? You have nothing to defend, your emotions and issues are totally normal and I truly do sympathize.

Oh- by the way- Hi everyone, I'm Dollface. :kisspink:

If you have housemates they're going to annoy you from time to time.

If you post shit about your annoying housemates on the internet, people are going to give you their opinion.

If you don't like those opinions, ignore them. After all, they're just opinions.

FTR, I don't think UT was suggesting you should adjust your boundaries. I think he was telling you that if you've set your boundaries in such a way that others step on them, it's inevitable that you're going to be annoyed. I don't see him telling you to change them. Only that you decided what they are, and your option is to live with your choice, or change it. He then went on to suggest that he has learned that sometimes it's just easier to change your boundaries/expectations than to wish someone else would change theirs to suit you.

If you post schist about your annoying housemates on the internet, people are going to give you their onions.

If you don't like those onions, don't cook with them. After all, they're just onions.

Bullseye.

Not bad for an amateur.

Exactly how I read it too Ali.
I have a similar situation with my mom, asking her to leave me alone doesn't work though, so I've had no choice except to learn to tune it out. If she asks a question and demands an answer, I usually say "I stopped paying attention." Either she gets pissed and walks off or she repeats the question if it was actually important. She'll talk to me from the other room, and I just say "Can't understand you" and go back to ignoring her.
As a side-note, we do have good and important conversations. She just likes to also try to convert me, or tell me how exactly I should live, that's when I start tuning her out.

Yes, chatty people and barking dogs. :rolleyes:

very small yappy dogs

I had to learn that lesson as well. I learned it from my AA sponsor when I lived in LA. Acceptance and boundaries and expectations are all linked. Boundaries (or lack of them rather) and expectations can make your life misearable if you let them. Acceptance, or learning how to accept people for who they are, helps. Everyone is going to have some habit or thing they do that might drive you crazy. Saying the Serenity Prayer can help in those situations.

All saying the Serenity Prayer does is underline exactly how far from serene the situation has strayed.

I hate ankle biters too:sniper:

you are three posts from spamming us, aren't you?

I don't know about that. When I first got sober, saying the Serenity Prayer helped me calm down and put things in perspective. The truth is, you cannot change people. You can only accept them for what they are. If you are in a situation where boundaries can be applied, then make agreements, and hold people responsible for their end of the agreement. If it is a situation where something that bothers you is something you really cannot change or an agreement cannot be reached, you can either: a) accept whatever it is and not be so annoyed, b) get out of the situation, or c) allow things to remain the same and be annoyed. If you really don't want to get out of the situation because it is a minor annoyance and it is something that cannot be changed by making an agreement, acceptance will make you happier in the long run.

"Serenity now! SERENITY NOW!"
"What is that?"
"The doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say 'serenity now!'"
"Are you supposed to yell it?"
"The man on the tape wasn't specific."
- Seinfeld

Ha! I yell that at my dad and brothers sometimes. :lol:

The technical phrase for this is:

It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.

When someone is flippant and disrespectful toward me, I'll tell them so. If they persist, I'll tell them to fuck right off.

So you believe that physical violence is an appropriate response to harsh language? I hope you have no children.

Thanks Dollface, I appreciate it!

Yeah, it's obvious that anyone who wants to go about their livelihood uninterrupted has a personality disorder.

I'm curious as to what percentage of the people who think there's something "wrong" with me for being frustrated by having my work constantly interrupted are, themselves, unemployed?

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it's most of them.

My housemate has a lot of habits that are annoying, but most of them don't interfere with my ability to be productive, so I let them slide.

For instance:
Her dog sheds everywhere and she rarely vaccuums. Maybe every couple of months.
Spoiled leftovers - I won't go into detail
Her dog eats more than twice as much as mine, but I buy dog food twice as often.
Her cat shits and pisses EVERYWHERE in the basement and she doesn't clean it up.
She tends to leave dirty pots in corners and never clean them out.
She is a junk-hoarder, and one end of the basement is completely packed with garbage that smells like cat pee.

So, you know, I go to vent about the one thing - being yammered at when I'm trying to get set up for work in the morning - that I just can't let slide, and a bunch of people treat me like I'm being unreasonable. :lol:

And it really doesn't matter what UT was TRYING to tell me, what he TOLD me was that I have control issues and should change my boundaries so that being interrupted and distracted while I'm trying to make my living stops bothering me.

Seems like if I was willing to move THAT boundary, I might not still be successfully self-employed, you know? Some boundaries help us accomplish our goals, and continuing to pay my bills is one of mine.