Homecoming
 

The whole process of bringing Mom home has been much more involved than expected.

It started with her being unable to make the walk from the car into the apartment. She covered about 10 feet of out 40 and sank to the ground (slowly and without injury), unable to proceed further. I called an ambulance and they got her safely installed on the living room couch. She hasn't the strength to make it up the steps, which is just as well as it means I don't have to figure out how to get her back down them.

Some of the home care stuff is getting put together, we've had visits from the nurses, and a health aide should be coming tomorrow to help her with bathing and so on. Sometime this week should see the first visit from the in-home physical therapist, who is apparently the one in charge of ordering things like wheelchairs, hospital beds, and so on.

Although I hadn't expected to need to do so, I've taken at least this week off work to try to get a better handle on things. My sister will likely make arrangements for a care aide in the evening to get mom settled and into bed so I can get back to work. My sister leaves tomorrow, so I'll be on my own after that.

I'm tired, and I'm heading for sleep now. For those of you not that familiar with my personal habits, that's about 5 hours earlier than my bedtime.

It looks like this is going to be a difficult time for the both of you - wishing you both the strength and sense of humour needed to get you through it to the better times ahead.

Good call on the week off from work, wolf. It's sometimes hard to see how much of your time/energy these things require until it's too late and you've worked yourself to exhaustion.

Sorry to hear about the disruption, Wolf. It is gonna be tough when you're the only one in charge after Sis leaves. I hope your mother knows how blessed she is to have children who care...I have a friend whose mother is in rehab right now, and my friend earnestly wishes that the woman would die.

That sounds bad Els, but it could be some compassion fueling it.

My Moms been in the Hospital/rehab loop, a bunch of times this year.
I asked my Brother, who lives with her, "Is this the point where from here on, when she dies, we'll all say it's for the best?"
He understood, saying it was a fair question.
He also said, yes.

There comes a point when the person you love isn't having fun anymore.
Every day is a struggle, painful for them and everyone who loves them.
Of course you do everything humanly possible to make their life as pain free as you can.
But it's a heavy blow to their ego, self image, pride, that you're sort of helpless to affect, no matter how much you love and respect them.

The natural progression. The natural order of things. To some, their chosen Deity's will.
But that doesn't change the fact that it sucks..... for the caregiver and recipient.




Wolf is a strong woman, but she's doing a really tough job and is going to need all the good vibes we can send her. :notworthy

I only wish that it *was* compassion, Bruce, but it isn't...she hates her mother, she resents her mom being demanding, petulant and unappreciative. She feels that mom is manipulative and weak. She resents having to deal with her mother's decline and feels that her mom should have been better prepared financially and practically for her later years. In short...no compassion, just hostility and resentment. Mom isn't *that* sick, as in "death is imminent" sick. No, this is only going to get worse, and it pains me to hear it.

I know the woman is no saint, but jeez...at the end of life, your family members deserve respect and assistance, even if it is inconvenient, even if they weren't your favorite person to begin with. Hell, strangers deserve that.

Gotcha.....daughters and wives....once they turn on ya, you might as well be dead...;)

Good luck Wolf. I'm praying for you guys.

This week's adventure has involved my mother being in congestive heart failure. She's on a diuretic now, potassium, and a new heart medication, and seems to be resolving.

I very nearly had to resort to bludeoning her into unconsciousness to make her unable to refuse consent for ambulance transport, but we finally negotiated things down to a voluntary trip to her PCP.

Next time, I go for the club.

Oh dear. I'm not really sure what else to say, but it sounds like she has the right spirit, if aimed in the wrong direction. Good luck.

Another weekend, another emergency room.
 

I worked last Saturday night. Typically I work 1600 - 2400. Because I had something I had to do on Sunday morning, my midnight coverage offered to come in early ... sometime between 2200 and 2300. She came in at 2200. I arrived home to find the wrong lights on in the house ... there are certain ones that momwolf typically leaves on. Momwolf was in a chair, slumped over to one side. She was breathing, but unreponsive to anything but painful stimuli. I tested her blood sugar. It was 34 ("normal" is usually around 100). This isn't the first low blood sugar episode we've had, but I usually come onto this scene when momwolf is confused, but conscious, and I'm able to get some OJ or bananas into her to bring her blood sugar up. I called 911 and the EMTs transported her to the ER. When they tested her sugars in the bus, it had dropped further, down to 22. They gave her a load of stat glucose and got her conscious and talking by the time they reached the ER. I followed along behind and spent a lot of time sitting with her, first in a hallway, and then in a curtain area until she was poked and prodded and tested and ready to be sent home at around 0400.

So, basically, my shift coverage's desire for two additional hours of OT (and my not caring about losing two hours of OT) saved my mother's life.

Do you think she's putting herself in these situations intentionally, or confusion and clouded judgment?

This one turned out to be a problem with her medications. My mother has been a non-insulin dependent diabetic for 20+ years. She has taken the same medication and dosage throughout that time. Since the infection and surgery in July 2006, she has lost about 60 pounds. In December or January, she had an incident where her blood sugars dropped down into the 40s. Her doctor cut her medication dosing from twice a day to once a day as a consequence of that. Before this past weekend's incident, we had already made an appointment with her endocrinologist who follows her for her hypothyroidism. I have been bugging her for years to also let him manage her NIDDM, but she was used to her old PCP doing this, and keeps forgetting that her current PCP is, in my estimation, a nice lady, but a gaping idiot as a doctor, or at least as a diagnostician. This was something that our old PCP was darn near magickal about, so pretty much everyone looks like a knucklehead when stacked up against him.

On Saturday, she ate more than adequately ... eggs and toast for breakfast, an Ensure in the afternoon for a snack, and roasted chicken for dinner. Everything points to the meds being the cause of this one.

Of course, now that we know she's not dying, she's milking it for all it's worth.

Cool, if she's milking it then she's still on the ball.

I hope she's feeling better soon.

Yea, really. What else is there to say.We finally had to put our mom into an assisted living home, tough stuff. Good luck.

Wolf, make sure you monitor yourself as you go through this with Mom. Sometimes we can mess up our own health focusing on others. Good luck lady.

Yup.

Good to hear that Momwolf is okay. I echo Griff's sentiments.

Another Holiday Weekend, Another Trip to the Hospital
 

So, here we are coming up on Labor Day.

A year and a smidge has passed since Mom's last hospitalization.

Yeah, the bright ones among you caught it ... MomWolf is back in the hospital, this time for a blood clot in her leg. The fancy medical name for it is "DVT" or Deep Vein Thrombosis.

I took her to the PCP today for something else, entirely. She's been using a topical cream ordered by her dermatologist to treat a small skin lesion, but that hasn't been going well. She had a bad reaction, he's on vacation, and his nurse said "Go to the PCP." Good thing she did, really.

MomWolf's mentioned in passing that her left leg was swollen, and the doc thought that she should have an ultrasound to rule out a clot. I drove her over to the hospital, and with hardly any waiting, we had an answer. Blood clot, all right, but in the RIGHT leg, which wasn't swollen. They still don't know why the left leg is swollen, but hopefully they'll come up with something ...

I am really sorry to hear that. I hope all goes as well as it can.
My thoughts are with you.

Sounds like you caught a thorough Doc wolf. I hope Mom is doing better.

Your mom is lucky to have you, wolf. Don't forget to take care of yourself on occasion too.

Sending warm wishes your way, wolf.

Your mum is very lucky to have you, make sure you look after yourself, too, Wolf.

Here we go again ... on Wednesday, momWolf saw the dermatologist, who announced that all looked well with her forehead. Last Thursday mom saw her PCP, was told that all was well, some minor adjustments to the blood thinner medication for the DVT.

She was very perky, and had been enjoying the fact that wolfSibling and the kitties were down for a visit to help with the packing, and to finally get momWolf over to the new abode to check the place out.

We were going to do that yesterday.

I was awakened too early Saturday morning to hear momWolf calling for my sister. My first thought was, "Well, that shows who really rates, doesn't it?" and rolled over. She then started calling for me.

We both went downstairs to find her gasping like a fish and saying she wasn't feeling well.

wolf: Mom, I'm calling an ambulance.

momWolf: Do you have to? Can't you just take my blood pressure?

wolf: Okay, then I'll call the ambulance.

(it is not easy to try to take the blood pressure of a woman who continues to try to talk to you while you are listening very hard to hear the Korotkoff sounds (that's when the little thumpy-thumpy noises start and stop))

wolf: Hello, 911 dispatcher. I need an ambulance.

momWolf: Can't you just drive me?

wolf: No! Sorry about that 911 dispatcher, I need an ambulance for a 76 y.o. female, history of HTN, DVT, CHF, presenting with SOB, chest pain, and BP 220/110. Thank you. (ends call) As I was saying Mom, I can't drive you, unless you want me to just shove your dead body out on the side of the road when your heart stops.

momWolf: Is it that serious?

wolf: Yes.

Great response time on the paramedics, they were at the house in less than 10 minutes.

My sister and I left the house shortly after they did, and we saw the rig that transported my mom returning to the station as we were about 2/3 of the way to the hospital.

Rough time in the ER, as she wasn't responding to the medication she was initially given, heart rate through the roof, respirations scary high, and her blood pressure was starting to come down, but not by much. She was finally given an injection of some stuff that I can't recall the name of, but which worked very quickly, and within 10 minutes she was relatively stable, had good color, and was breathing normally. Apparently she had another episode of congestive heart failure, which may have been brought on by something that she does when she has a doctor's appointment ... she's on a diuretic, which makes her pee a lot, and she'll skip it if she has to go somewhere, like the doctor, so she stays drier.

Oh, and then she had a Cup O' Soup for dinner one night, chased it down with a half a pack of saltines, according to my sister who dropped the dime on her to the doctor. Your basic recipe for medical disaster.

She's much better today, ensconced on the cardiac telemetry floor at the same hospital she was in for the month of July last year. It's her favorite floor, and the nurses who cared for her at that time remember her, and me.

So, if I seem distracted or irritable, that's why.

Incidentally, I have the coolest BP cuff in Southeastern Pennsylavnia.

http://www.blackstormhawk.com/cellar...itty/hk-bp.JPG

Sorry to hear that your going through it again Wolf. [hugs]

Bummer wolf. Keep on keeping on.

Your mom is lucky she has a great daughter in you.

Just saw this thread, missed the labor day posts. I can't believe her bp was that high!!! (normal is < 120/80) Glad to hear things are OK after that scare, yikes. Good luck to all of you!

Thinking of you, wolf. And your BP cuff rocks!

Well, no holiday weekend involved, but momWolf was back in the hospital last week. At first the concern was that she was showing blood in her stool (yeah, TMI, I won't get any more specific than that), which is a serious side effect of the blood thinner ...

After much discussion, a transfusion, and a horrifying test involving tubing down her throat, it has been determined that instead of a terrible, potentially fatal upper GI bleed, she has an ulcer. Not that the ulcer isn't bad enough, but it could have been worse ...

So, I go to the pharmacy to fill the script for the antacid/antibiotic combo, and learn two things ... first, if she didn't have insurance this stuff would cost over $400.

Second, the insurance company wouldn't authorize filling the script because of a potentially fatal interaction with her other meds.

Good on the insurance company, incidentally. As it happened, my regular pharmacy didn't have the med in stock, so I went to a different pharmacy. They had the combo meds, but halted the sale per the insurer based on the other meds they're paying for.

momWolf will be starting the meds on Wednesday, but she has to discontinue and wash out of the one that will kill her before starting the one that will cure the ulcer.

So, that's what I've been dealing with for the last week or so.

Yikes, the docs didn't mention/notice the potential interaction? THAT is scary. Really.

Take care, you two.

As of November 1, momWolf is back in the hospital. Yes again.

Trip to the PCPs office on Halloween, referral for another endoscopy.

This time they found something other than the ulcer that was leaking blood in her tummy. It was something called a Dieulafoy's Lesion, which was cauterized, but because her blood levels were low, back to the hospital we went. She was transfused that night, and is still hospitalized.

In the meantime, four beefy men should be at my door on Wednesday, November 14, early in the morning. Nowhere near enough of my stuff is in boxes for them to carry out to their nice, big truck.

Don't they have nice.... normal sized men to box it for you as well? Can't you recruit some local helpers?

I *hate* moving; you have my sympathies.

Best wishes for your mom. I know how agonizing that process is. My mom recently got out of the hospital after a fall, a couple of weeks ago. I'm rooting for you both from the left coast. You can count on that.

Wolf, much love to your mom, you and all who love her.

Good wishes and healing energies wafting across the pond from over here, too, Wolf.
Hope the move goes well: wishing you peace and plenty in your new home.

Same from me Wolf.
Keep us updated.

Limey, I really like "Peace and plenty" - it may become my new toast.
My Nan's used to be, "More food than you have mouths to feed" which sounds like Western greed now but came from living in the East End in a Catholic family.

Also known as "The Other Left Coast". You and momwolf are surrounded. Come out of the hospital with your hands up (and dancing, preferably).

Once again, an unexpected discharge.

Had to call off work, again.

Lose another day of packing time.

Bring momWolf home.

Go to grocery store for prescriptions and enough food so she won't starve.

Fill weekly med box.

Find out that one of the prescriptions was written differently than shown in the discharge instructions, will need to consult doctor tomorrow.

Find out that another of the prescriptions is out and although there are refills remaining on the prescription, it's for half the dosage she needs, add to list of things to call doctor about.

Find out that sample packs of new med are running short, add to list to discuss with doctor in the morning.

Need sleep desperately, but too much to do ...

Bless you. I know first hand what an exhausting and frustrating labor of love this alll is. It also doesn't take long to develop the talent of spotting discrepencies on those prescription bottles.

Newb status aside, you'll be in my thoughts.
All the best to you and your mom.
:)

This holiday weekend things is far too much of a trend. Happy Labor Day, everyone.

As I write this, it is 6:20 AM. I just got home from getting momwolf admitted to the hospital ICU. She is in Congestive Heart Failure (which yes, is a chronic condition, but she's got more of it than usual at the moment.)

I left work early. We got to the ER around 9:00 PM. There was a long wait for a bed, and at first she was expected to go to Telemetry, but got upgraded to ICU because she was placed on Heparin. The ICU is apparently protocol for that drug. One of her cardiac enzymes were also elevated, so they're trying to decide if she actually had a heart attack or not.

If I'd had my way she would have been at the ER at 2am last night, but I wasn't stern enough with her to make it happen. Tonight she didn't get to choose. I called 911 and didn't take no for an answer.

She didn't get to go to her favorite hospital, either ... it was too far away from where we are now living. As a bonus though, a close friend was the ER attending on duty tonight, so momwolf got first-class service, and also got to meet some of my Paramedic Friends who were kicking around in the ER.

Sorry lady. It is great that you have all these connections in the health care community though.

Ach, sorry to hear it Wolf. Hope your mum's feeling better soon.

take care

Sorry wolf. It's no fun when mum is sick. Hugs to you both.

:(

Hang in there.

More prayers for momwolf. :(

How is she today?

Yeah, how's your Mum doing Wolf?

Got back from the hospital a bit ago, went for visiting around 1130. Momwolf was sleeping. Her nurse pulled me aside and let me know that they are having trouble stabilizing her heart rate. She'll spike up into the 130s or better. Then some Nitro and Serax later, she's back down into normal range. Happened again while I was there. I got shuffled out into the family waiting room and called back in about 15 minutes later. The hospitalist and cardiologist are monitoring her carefully.

She slept most of the time I was there, which is fine. She needs that right now. I left after she woke up for a bit, because I didn't want her to awaken and just find me gone.

She's very frightened.

One of the things that they told her they wanted to do was a cardiac catheterization. So far she is refusing. The last time she had one down was at HUP/Presbyterian, back in 2006. At the time it revealed what we already knew ... the grafts from her 1985 cardiac bypass have lost elasticity, and they are also partially occluded. At the time they had considered placing a stent, but the architecture of her veins was such that they wouldn't be able to maneuver one into place without a strong possibility of busting through the vessel wall, so no go on that.

Frankly, I don't expect that much has changed there in the last three years. This is also the opinion of her cardiologist.

I can't wait until the darn holiday weekend is over and this hospital's guy can talk to her guy.

What I have to figure out is what to do ... do the paperwork and initiate FMLA now, or when she's ready for discharge home?

(It's really my only option. I am totally out of vacation at this point (momwolf's breast cancer, shingles, and my visit to The Mouse), and if I don't work the minimum number of hours per week I have to pay out of pocket for my insurance. At least with FMLA they can charge the time against sick rather than vacay. And I have plenty of sick.)

Ach Wolf, honey, how worrying for you. And how scary for your poor mum.

So sorry wolf.

Thoughts and prayers from the capnhowdy camp.

I'm sorry it is going so rough. :(

Man, wolf, I'm sorry you're going through this. We turned down a cardiac cath for my father, two days before he died. The cardiac team was all gung-ho, but the real question was "is anything actionable going to come out of this" and the answer was a resounding "no".

Best wishes for momwolf.

Today's visit went well, mostly anyway. She has some color other than "ashen," which I took to be an encouraging sign. However, she had a "cardiac event" while I was there, much like the one I described above.

Tonight I got a call from the doctor covering the unit. She's apparently had a couple more episodes since this afternoon. I offered to come over because she's scared about being alone, but the doc told me not to come as they are hoping that she will get some sleep, but they will call for me if momwolf wants me there.

This sucks.

Sucks is right wolf.:comfort:
We'll be thinking of you both...

Sorry to hear about all that wolf. Hope mom wolf pulls out. Sounds like she is going through quite the ordeal. But I do think she is in the best place she can be for now, as unsettling as it is with her in the hospital. Good thoughts coming your way.