Ok--skills and looks are NOT exclusive but if you HAD to go with one or the other???? and don't give me this "skills can be taught" thing because, sometimes, they just can't be. I'll end there on my prepositional phrase.

Thank you.

no, sometimes skills can't be taught. a willingness must be there. most people are driven by physical attraction and then the missing component is willingness.

if you have someone who is willing to and dedicated to pleasing the other, looks quickly fall by the wayside and skill can be compensated for.

*i'm not talking about complete troll-like appearance. just 2 average looking people*

Well, OK. I assume you define "Looks" under the physical attraction / chemistry department? Just "looks" alone is pretty superficial. So a guy looks like Brad Pitt, that alone wouldn't necessarily make him attractive to me. In the example I gave above of the Robert Redford look alike guy, it was his words that first drew my attention and made me turn around to do a double take. If he'd been speaking like Gomer Pyle or something, I wouldn't have been interested, no matter how handsome he was. If you could broaden "looks" to include the way he speaks, the things he says, that certain light in his eyes, the whole black magic/chemistry thing; then, yeah, I'd say "looks" are the most important thing. Skill as a lover is just going to follow naturally if there's enough mutual chemistry involved, so it would be almost a given in such a case, wouldn't it? Like the Cowboy Junkies song goes, "the beautiful is not chosen; the chosen becomes the beautiful."

Weeeell....I guess I am extrapolating here. I met a guy and thought nothing of him until my friend noted how beautiful his eyes were---then, and ONLY then, I started to notice him---he would never have been my first choice as "one of the greats"--but, man, he WAS one of the greats. Based on eyes ALONE.


My incredible superficiality is duly noted.

i think you just like where his eyes were. right between his steering w..., i mean ears.

Lookout, I like it whenever I can get you to talk dirty!!! Remember?? You used to be a sex beast--don't let the election take all of it out of you, man....

:doit:

eh?? used to? my sheep still think i am.


did i say that? :blush:

Some people love sheep.


i, myself, am not one of them; however, I do not discriminate betwixt love. Love is...love. good for you, you perv. :biggrin:

We have a word for people like you up in Colorado - it's baa'aah! OK, now that I got that bad pun out of my system... :blush:

Brianna, your story of the guy with the great eyes is a great example of paradox. If mere looks had attracted you to this guy, you'd have hit on him the moment you set YOUR eyes on him, without waiting for your friend to point him out. People pass us by everyday, something has to happen to make us rest our attention on any given one. Your girlfriend had to comment on the guy which probably got you curious about him, so you started talking to him or whatever and - ZING! - you discover this amazing chemistry as you gaze into his eyes and exchange pheromones. In my example, I walked into the meeting where "Robert Redford" was sitting rather late. I must have glanced around at him while I was looking for a place to sit, but he didn't draw my attention until I heard his voice behind me. So, I think "looks" are only a small component of the very complex equation which equals attraction.

BTW, I always tell my SO that he has the most INCREDIBLE EYES! And he does, too. I see his essence reflected out of them. And, no, keep your hands off! He's mine! :D

Skill and looks are important but I am currently viewing things from the other side. My most recent X deemed them to be too important and he was trying to be overly what he called, "erotic". He started to remind me of a sleaze. He had it all. Skills and Looks.Too much for my taste........He went from hot to ..ok you think your hot get over it. Point being, skill and looks are great but I think it should be backed up with some semblance of character. I'm thinking of a personality vs skill scenario....do you really even notice or care about minimal visual flaws if these two things are in line? If they are graced with personality, skill, and charisma and you are still worried about looks i'd say you are not looking hard enough. (And by skill i'm saying out of the bedroom too) So that's my not so sex-educated opinion....and i'm sticking to it.
:p If you Had to go with one or the other? My ...my....why in the heck would you do something like that?(I think some boyfriends in high school tried to make me decide the same thing) :D
...................
don't want no gigolo........................... :greenface

"Chicks only dig guys with skills. Like nunchuck skills, or computer hacking skills.." -Napoleon Dynamite says it all.

Oh, if only everyone lived by the words of Napoleon Dynamite this world would be.....uh...umm....kind of scary, but very funny!

I'm staying out of this one...

no.. I lied.. I'm not staying out of this one...

I'm not an unattractive man, sure no robert redford to be sure, but I do get looked at alot (and not usually in that 'get away from me' sort of way') and I am farily in tune with other peoples desires and physical/emotional states.**

I've been in alot of relationships, and there is a profound difference between the two, so long as we're going between the purely chemical (phermone/something else*) driven. where as some of the most intense 'experiences' I have had have been with the phermone (or whatever) driven.. the most satisfying was from the emotionally driven. not that they aren't exclusive of one another mind you. the rare combination of the two is almost as elusive as the unified theory ( IMHO).

lastly it is more the mind or the 'soul' of a person that will define if a relationship will last more than a farily short period.


* I don't know what to call this 'electric feeling' that two people can have, I have however experienced it.. heh.. that's why I guess this woman and I got engaged 2 times.. the reality of the situation though is that we didn't live in a vacuum ( tried it though.. breathing got to be a bit on the difficult side ;) ) whatever it is though if someone figures out a way to bottle it... let me know


**other than the aforementioned (annoying traits thread) sometimes completely oblivious