the continuing saga


MG was injured the other night. He somehow managed to get a sliver of fiberglass about the size of a finishing nail through his hand. Through the fleshy part between the thumb and the base of the index finger.

MG: (working hard as usual, making grunts and groans to bring attention to the fact he was lifting stuff that would give every member of the team a hernia ) OHH FUCK MEEEE!!! (looks at his hand)
HammerGuy: Nice work, better head to the office.
MG: (pulls the fiberglass out and bleeds all over the floor) Nahh, it's nothin'
LineLeader: Go make out a report MG.
MG: Sheeee-it, for this? (starts going to the other members to show them, bleeding all over the place in the process) You think this is bad slang? (like I'm somehow qualified to assess a wound)
Slang: It's not bad , just stop the bleeding so I dont bust my ass slipping on your blood.
MG: Blood!? You aint never seen blood fagboy! When I was in Nam I was hit by a mortar.
Slang: Ours or theirs?
MG: (piercing glare)

Hee Hee! As in "Stripes":

GENERAL: Where's your Sergeant?
WINGER: Blowed up, Sir!
UNIT: Blowed up, Sir!

Yeah, he doesnt see humor in anything that mocks the beloved corp.

You shoulda seen him last night. They put him on light duty, it drove him nuts!

Learning a new language
 

There is a language among line workers that I hadnt really thought about until I started this new shitjob. It's evolved by necessity becuase of this particularly loud environment.

The communication goes like this; the louder you can yell one or two words with some creative, yet unmistakable hand gestures, the more effective you are. It's also helpful to be menacing with your body language.

Needless to say, I suck at this style of communication just beacuse there is normally more information than 2 words can convey as a total message and my voice has never needed to be that strong so I tend to squeek at high volume. Lets look at an example.

LineLeader: (slides the molds violently so that the one I'm working on jerks wildly out of my hands and crashes to the floor)BANG!
slang: (a very labored yell) HEY!! (hands in air to say "what the fuck", then pointing at where the mold landed, then at my foot which was close)
GroupChorus: Biiiiiiiiiigg.......Pusssyyyyy!!!
MG: (walks all the way down the line to me, snaps to attention 2 inches from my face) WILL YOU SOUND OFF LIKE YOU'VE GOT A FUCKIN' PAIR ?!! (walks away)
slang: (itches head with middle finger)

Translation: What the fuck are you doing, you almost hit my foot.
You can see now that this was a bad example. No one was startled by the volume of my voice or by my guestures. Now lets take a look at another sample.

BigShouldersGuy: (is kneeling between 2 molds working on some delicate adjustment)
LineLeader: (slides molds down the line giving BSG a good pinch through the torso)
BigShouldersGuy: (jumps up onto the line so LL can see his whole body from a distance..........booming volume) HEY ASSHOLE!!! (points to area he was working on, then gives a double point to the portion of his jeans covering his dick)
LineLeader: (waves apologetically)

Translation: Hey asshole, I'm working here and you can bite me, dont do that again. This is a more effective message than mine because of the volume, muscular profile and the boldness of BSG jumping up on the line to make his signals. Now lets looks at one last technique.

LineLeader: (slides line down abruptly, accumulating a larger number of molds and speed as they progress down the line)bang......bang......bang...bang...bang, bang!
MG: (holding the last mold in that sequence, scaping it quickly to keep up)(Freight train volume) FUCKHEAD!!!!!!!! ( shoots hairy eyeball at LL)
LineLeader: (walks all the way up to MG) Hey sorry MG!
MG: (gives him the marine corp style "dissmissed" nod)

Translation: who do you think you're fucking with here? I'll kick your ass, I'm not a big pussy like slang. Now the important part was the volume of the yell. I was right next to him and my eyeballs bled slightly for about 10 minutes and the flourescent light right above us flickered for the rest of the night. This is the most effective sort of message.

Unfortunately, I cant yell loud enough to blur someone's vision and I dont have huge shoulders, so I'm thinking I might take one of those compressed canned air horns to work. The gestures I have down, but I'll never get respect without some cranium penetrating yell or horn.

The world has become so different since I started working outside of my career.

Perhaps some of these can be adapted for your particular application?