through a random series of events, i fould a cd i burned over 2 years ago and never bothered to listen to. i started listening to it and found that it was basically a cd starting with 1 van morrison song followed by a bunch of pogues songs. i was pleased that i found it and out it in my car to listen to. i put in the car saturday night and went merrily home.

the next morning, my mom and i decided to go to kohls department store to pick up some frames. my sister worked at kohls for a very long time and i found myself thinking a great deal about her and missing her very badly. we got back out to the car and as i started the car, track 12 of the cd i had found began. "beautiful girl" by poe. 1 song dramatically out of place amongst a bunch of irish drinking songs.

heres the thing. before that song took on special significance for me due to her loss, it wasnt a song i particularly cared for and i much preferred other songs by poe. even knowing that, i cannot imagine the thought process that would have brought me to burn a disc that looks a bit like this:

1. all over now baby blue - them featuring van morrison
2-11. pogues
12. beautiful girl - poe
13-18. pogues

and even if i could figure out what caused me to do that, the chain of events that ended with me putting that cd in the car is filled with me and other people doing very out-of-character things.

coincidence? probably. but it did wonders for me at that moment.

~james

~james

As the resident Cellar Pagan, I feel compelled to say that many times things happen in a certain way because they need to. It is possible that, subliminally, you knew something then that you weren't aware you knew, and that CD was the result.

James,

I haven't said anything b/c everyone else summed it up pretty well. To you and your family, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Always keep her on your minds, and always celebrate the joy and amazement she brought to you during her time on Earth.

     I'm with Ep on this. I wouldn't rule out the possiblity that you had mentaly linked the song with your sister in the past. It just didn't have such importance then. Finding it on a CD wouldn't be so much an oddity, but something you might expect. It's probably there 'cause it was linked back then, and it was a passing thought. Kind of nice in retrospect.
     I'm glad we, on the Cellar could help in any way. Thank you for sharing with us in such a personal time.

I've experienced things that affirm my belief that there is so much going beyond my perception- however you want to think of it. I think time and presence are actually very fluid. That song was well placed for/by you. :)

Do not be surprised if over the next weeks and months, you encounter any number of situations, images, songs, messages or other sorts of 'coincidences' you may eventually come to understand are gifts from your sister.

Listen.

You will hear her.

I had a moment like that a while back. I lost my cousin in a car accident. Early the next spring,(or another year later I forget) I was about to drive by the cemetary where he's buried and I felt compeled to stop in for a couple minutes. It turned out to be his birthday.

I am sorry I hadn't posted until now. Beautiful thread, guys. Thank you, James for sharing your feelings on this board. Even though I am married to you, I always glean a little extra by reading your posts here.

An additional note on the CD coincidence:

When James originally made that CD (2 or more years ago if I remember right) we put it in the CD player and I was a little confused as to why there was one Van Morrison song and the rest were Pogues. I wasn't aware of the existence of the Poe song, either, but I remember asking him why he had composed the CD the way he had, and I seem to think he said something like "I just like all of these songs." I just thought the lack of intention with the making of the disc is an interesting piece of this little puzzle.

Hi Case!

Anyhow, just wanted to say hi, and about yer CD, I guess we all do inexplicable things that make more sense later. could be coincidence, could be chance, fate, luck. At any rate, weird thing, there's a song on Angie's Tirbute CD that seems to be coming up on the radio every 15 minutes, on more than one station. Maybe metaphysical, maybe just a popular song, but it makes you think...

Love you guys

Hi Dusty! It is good to hear from you.

Which song keeps coming on the radio? Is it the Tori Amos one? I have heard that one a couple times lately.

Case

It's the evanesence one, save me I believe it's called. I swear it's on two stations at any given moment. Weird, huh? Anyhow, James, I got a wonderful story for you, I'll call you later, right now I need to get some sleep.