Can we assume you do not call UG "old chum"?

Only as much as I would say the same for you.
Old - perhaps. Chum - not in the context to which you are referring.

As usual, you only understand nasty.
And zero sense of humor.

right back atcha

Wot 'e sed. With a pound pound pound.

If I am a ham-mer
I'll hammer in the mo-o-rning...