That's not her job, is it?

That I really can't answer. I really don't know. I mean I have thought about that but I think even if I feel that she does, I still want to think that she doesn't.

Yes. And I'm thankful that my husband and my kids love me. it's just saddening when I see mothers who show affection to their daughters.

Yes. It would've been okay for me if there was just an absence of love. Thing is, we've been into this "war" since high school, there's too much anger coming from her and it's depressing at times when it crosses my mind.

How true for those of us who had mothers unable to love us. I feel almost jealous when I witness loving mother/child interactions. For example, years ago I had a woman friend who was about my mother's age. For some reason we got to talking one time about the hippy movement one. My friend said, "I love hippies because they remind me of my own children. All of them were hippies."

I was stunned. My mother hated hippies and blamed them for every single thing that was or is wrong with the country. "Its all because of you hippies," she'd say, glaring at me. My mother was extremely hateful. She was very prejudiced against African Americans, and would freely use the n-word to describe them. She hated Jews, as well. She hated her neighbors, and once when she was in her 80's she got into a physical confrontation with the nice elderly lady who was her next door neighbor. The woman had dared to come over and ring the doorbell with a plate of Christmas cookies in her hands. :thepain:

And if your kids show you they love you, you're obviously showing them that you love them. You've broken the bad cycle, and that's something to be proud of.

I never felt close to my mother or father, I think because we were so absolutely different in our thinking, on big or small issues. For instance my parents are bigots plain and simple, they hate everyone who is not them. Even when I was 3 or4 I would argue with them about this. We also has very little physical affection. When I got older I had an Israeli friend who gave me 'hug therapy'. She actually had to teach me to be warm, thank goodness before I had my own daughters.

My mother also thinks I sold all the gifts she gave me over the years. It's really strange, Even now she nose around my house for things she gave me when I was 10. Ironically, she threw away little treasures from my childhood I would have kept but I still have a few little bits of jewelry from back then that I never got rid of.

Who needs this aggravation?

This.

The 8th annual "What's wrong with UT" marathon, held every year at this time, ended suddenly today when I told everyone firmly that the session was over and thanks for their help but I was not going to participate in the discussion any longer.

The session was triply painful this year because I agreed that there are probably some big things wrong with me. At almost the same time, I described my life in terms of a slow, 30-year suicide whilst trying to make a point in a Facebook discussion. This convinced everyone that I might actually be suicidal, and this in turn permitted the session to go into long hours and hours of what is precisely wrong with me, and where everything went wrong.

Negotiations were held on who would pay to fix me and what the terms of that would be. The negotiations broke down when I refused to provide detailed reports on the steps I am taking to improve.

Wow, they talk about what's wrong with you where you can HEAR them?

Hmmm. Alls I get is whispers and looks.

;)

There ain't nuthin' wrong with UT
As far as I can see. :)

I only know a tiny part of the human being that is Tony. What I know about him is that HE has helped ME in many ways and has always been compassionate and understanding about it, about me and my shortcomings. The part of Tony that I know is kind, compassionate, rational, level-headed, witty and above all, scarily intelligent.

I don't know what goes on annually, or monthly, or daily with you. But I do know that you are a fighter who is rational. Sometimes having all your faults lined up for inspection is exactly what you DON"T need. I'll bet it was meant in all love; but sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

Hugs, Tony.

Sorry, UT. :( Family criticisms are the easiest to find and the hardest to suffer. Maybe you and Sundae should host an international exchange-mom program.

My mother made me an undertoad.

Really? If I buy her the yarn do you think she'd make me one too?


UT, I just learned a month ago, from my therapist, that I am allowed to decide what my boundaries are. It is awesome when you know that you can say "This conversation is over."

The only thing wrong with you (or me for that matter) is thinking there is something wrong with you.

As much as anyone loves their mom, I just have to say that I hate mi e mostly because of the dumb bs I get. I take care of myself and she says I'm not responsible, she's always saying I'm fat (which I'm not) and goes on about how I won't get in shale or do anything because I'm unmotivated. I had almost perfect straight A's in highschool and she still nagged me saying I had to study and work harder I NEVER studied and got A's And then I'd get yelled at even more when I got something of an A- to a B. Always been nagged about what I'm doing and who my friends should be. Other than that she's SORT OF calming down and being nicer toward me.
Shes almost always nicer to my older sister however...

How do you feel about pillows, Jeff? And is she a tiger mom, perchance?