Kick her in the cunt? Seriously, man, it's the whole money thing that really makes this not okay. I'm sorry for her immaturity, Els. I think if you make it a her-fault divorce, you can get free (although not necessarily very good) representation from the attorney general's office. But every state is different. Tell TreeFae to give you extra hugs from us.

that's just plain nasty.

sorry dude.

The who is at fault angle is why I'd be leery of leaving the house. At this point she's left you rather than an even split. I don't know squat about divorce law and it changes by state...

Don't lose that note. It could be an official admission of guilt.

Monster, yes, she handled all the finances. I just wrote her checks every week for my share of the bills and mortgage. I assume that the accounts, which did have my name on them, are still there, just empty. I'll be requesting statements for the past few months so I can get a better picture of what went on. But, I don't know...maybe one can close an account on one's own. Guess I'll know that in a while.

Oh, my dear ...

I suspected that this was what had happened when I saw your Facebook postings, but I didn't expect the scorched earth approach.

She has not, however, sewn salt into your fields (but not paying the mortage was pretty shitty).

You'll get through this.

We're here for you.

(*hugs*)

Els that's bloody awful treatment.
I felt like the ultimate bitch when I left my husband, but he came out of the relationship financially better off than he went in at least (small comfort, but all I could offer).

I can't believe someone who knows you and at least used to love you could treat you in this spiteful and underhanded way.

People fall out of love, have to leave, stop trying - that's life and it doesn't make them villains. But the way she did it - especially involving the money - is plain nasty. Karma will smack her upside the head.

Okay, I don't really believe that, but it's a nice thought.
We'll send Ducks over with a brick to do the same job.

Oh, Els! That ain't no way to go. As others have commented, that was incredibly malicious to close the bank accounts and not pay the bills since September. No wonder she fled in the middle of the night, so to speak. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas - NOT! What a biatch!

So sorry this had to happen to you. :(

You should be able to apply for financial provision? and as part of your rights, you should be able to get that money back.
It seems like it would be illegal to accept money for maintenance payments and take the money instead. At the least it's irresponsible and at the worst it's fraud and I would be seeking to get every cent back, plus the other amounts that should have gone toward maintenance of the house and utilities. There should be emergency legal aid to help with this. :(

*Shakes head* sorry you're going through the mill Els.

Shocking bad way to go about it. What a fucking craven move. Can't get my head around that sort of behaviour.

Hang on though...if you've been writing her cheques for your half of the bills, and she hasn't paid the mortgage and bills for 3 months...then what has she done with your cheques?

Sounds like theft, to me.

There ya go Splode go file charges , get her dumb ass arrested

Oh, Elspode, I'm so sorry. There's nothing I could say that everyone else has not said already. So, HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Stay strong, Pat.

I had a joint account with my mom. I went to the bank and closed it by myself. They gave me all the money that was in the account. So, I'm guessing that depends on the state or bank, it's possible.

I had a Joint account with my Mom ,
She emptied it and left me with $1100 worth of bad checks at a Navy exchange ( on base store),Yes there is a NIS (befor NCIS) file on me ,
Then borrowed the money from a friend, sent me a check,
and spent the money i sent home to pay off the debt to the Now Xfriend