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I take the lorazepam on my bad days. When I am freaking out and such. I do not take them on a daily basis. I have been in counseling. I take 37.5mg of Paxil.

No, you take 37.5 mg of Paxil CR. How long have you been on it at that dosage?

Re: Cell phone
 

There are cheaper cell plans.

But...

A cell phone is a convenience, not a necessity.

And if you need long distance service that badly, buy a phone card. You usually end up paying less per call than you do by using conventional long distance services from a home phone.

Also, if you are still making payments on it, plus insurance, gas, and maintenance (and parking fees, depending on where you live in Phila), supporting a car is much more expensive than SEPTA. A city transpass is $70/month. An Anywhere transpass (allowing you to access the entire SEPTA system) is $163/month. This is already less than the $200/month you are paying for your insurance alone.

(Funny thing, I just read an article on cyberbegging. I didn't expect to see an incidence of it here.)

from your weblog:Are you really thinking about buying a house? How can you afford to buy a house when you have to charge groceries to your credit card?


There's also this quote:
Not wanted to. Had to! World would have ended otherwise. And how about that entry where you spend nearly a hundred dollars on Christmas presents? I guess you needed to do that, too.

Okay.

So I went and did some reading of Ciara's webdiary.

First, I have to say that I totally DON'T get the concept.

What is it that compels people to share the minutae of their lives with complete strangers?

The idea that someone is actually reading your diary entries is so embarrassing to you that you're worried about continuing to post your secrets? Why would you post any information you actually considered "secret" in the first place?

Buying xmas presents for the dog you no longer own, while touching, seems to be one of the unnecessary expenses we're kind of pointing out to you here. You need to eat. The dog probably has enough chewie toys. Trust me. He doesn't know it's Christmas.

I missed the thing about the powerball tickets ... damn that is goofy. If you find yourself unable to live without the excitement of holding a ticket, just buy one. You're not increasing your chances with any kind of statistical significance by buying 10, you know.

Set up a website like that disgusting woman savesomething.com, might work.

Wow! Is the US divroce system that harsh? Here it's the other way round, it's usually guys that get done over, bigtime.

So, you make $300-$500 a month. Your car insurance is $200, and your health insurance is $200. This is easy. Eliminate both! That saves you $400 a month. Cancel your cell phone and buy a phone card. Take the money you would have spent on gas, plus a little of the saved $400, and buy a transit pass.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop playing the victim. Invest $13.95 in the book, "Life Strategies" by Dr. Phil McGraw. Remember Life Law #7: Life is managed. It is not cured. You're never going to be completely without problems. That's how life is. The key is in learning how to successfully manage it.

A lot of the time it depends on who has the better attorney.

Pennsylvania is a "no alimony" state, which means that there is no requirement that spousal support payments be made by the more highly paid spouse to the lesser paid spouse. (Customarily this means the ex-husband pays the ex-wife until she remarries, but I have seen a few go the other way.) PA state law ONLY requires child support, but with a decent enough attorney, you can get either some spousal support, or a lump sum settlement at the time of the divorce. Many folks, though, are so deep in the hole that what they do at the divorce is split the debt evenly between them.

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Thank you for all your input.

Ciara, some of what I say may sound a bit harsh or sarcastic...I apologize in advance.

If you live in the same area where your p.o. box is set up (South Philadelphia, right?), then you should have absolutely no need for a car, unless you work in the far-flung suburbs (e.g. Frazer).

You won't get away with much panhandling at a mall, unless you go to a place like Franklin Mills. There's only one guy up there, and he's got a Parkinson's-like condition. It could be all yours, until I get to that point where I have to panhandle, then I'm going to walk up there and steal it from you. And forget panhandling in Center City...they've been toughening up down here...all the panhandlers that used to roam where I'm at (5th and Market) are gone. Perhaps you could try a place where they may let something like that slide a little more, like Trenton or Camden.

Lastly, you might want to set up a Paypal account. That way you can put a link to it on your site, and if anyone wants to donate, it's easier for them to do so, rather than send something through snail mail.

If you want charity out of the Cellar, stick around for a year; we are very generous, but only to people we know and can trust. You understand.

I have never met anyone with PAD GAD SAD and PD all at the same time. If the Paxil CR isn't doing the job -- and you are at the highest clinical dosage -- you should still be trying to find something that works for you. Getting the brain chems right is tricky, but the good news is that they are coming out with new drugs all the time.

If it IS doing the job, you may still have anticipatory anxiety. The medication may control the actual problem, but you may still be expecting the anxiety to pop up. This is something that talk therapy can cure, but of course it is expensive, and not well supported by insurance.

You can solve it yourself, though. The most important thing you can have is a positive, optimistic mental outlook. That may seem impossible right now. But all good things will come from PATIENCE. If you can string along a few positive months in a row, you WILL come out of it a stronger, better person and a lot of the troubles that dog you will just disappear. And you ARE capable of that, no matter who you are or what you think.

"The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns is one good book that everyone recommends to develop your positive side.

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Merry Christmas everyone!

Wow, that's SOME JOB you've got!
 

Or are you just giving us a giant job?

Yesterday you told us you had to get up at 7:30 today to go to work -- to the job where you work 6 days per week and earn $13,000 per year. I'd like to know what job pays minimum wage, yet still allows employees time and access to post messages on the internet?

To those of you who are REALLY working today, I wish you the best. Wolf, maybe sometime my kids and I will get some cookies to you on Christmas day. Have enjoyed your posts immensely.

I'm going to enjoy the $14.00 worth of gifts my guy and I are lovingly sharing today.

Peace to all, even you Ciara.

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That was not yesterday. I had to get up at 7:30 to work on Christmas Eve. DOH for you! Check the dates on the time stamp.

Hah hah.