Ha.

I have been on flights that will let you upgrade to first class for only $50 more if when they arent sold. But that is only right before boarding.

Delta Airlines decided they will not follow suit claiming it wasn't worth "upsetting their loyal passengers."

Sounds like torture to me.

I'd say the policy is a bit unfair, but why should people suffer being jammed in between 2 fatties?

By that policy, assholes should be charged more.

Wouldn't that be sweet?

Impossible to implement though.

You can tell an asshole he's an asshole and to stfu.

You don't wanna tell the two pigs "jeezy petes, does the simple act of sitting cause you to sweat profusely and breath out of your mouth in wheezes like you just ran a marathon? You might want to rethink your lifestyle."

Because that would just be mean.

and if the asshole SsTFU then the rest of your flight may be ok. You cannot tell the overweight person to she a couple hundred pounds in a few minutes.

The real problem is when you encounter a morbidly obese asshole. Then you got issues.

Exactly, and if the first asshole doesn't STFU, you can fill out some forms, in triplicate, outlining the steps you took to procure said shut-uppedness and you may have some sort of recourse, even if asshole won't comply.

Then you could use your outline about having procured the shut-upedness to write a do it yourself manual called "How to get an asshole to shut up." Because it is such a difficult task, everyone would buy it (even assholes themselves!) and you would become rich and famous!

Holy moly, Jim, your head has gained 30 lbs since I joined the cellar. Put that thing on a diet, stat!


Sure you can. Ever heard of a scalpel? Bwahahahaaaaa!