The Cellar - The Job Hunting Trenches

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)

- The Sycamore Manifestos (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=17)

- - The Job Hunting Trenches (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=1941)

File under "suspicious":

Nationwide Company has many openings available for candidates looking for home-based telecommuting (work from home) positions. The average yearly income is between $36,000 and $48,000! Candidates can work part time or full time! These are national work-at-home positions and are not restricted to any one particular state ... therefore, openings are currently available for most regions of the U.S. When initially contacting our firm, please tell us your name, your contact info (including email address), and in which part of the U.S. you reside! We ask that you do not submit (or attach) your resumes when initially emailing us ... else your response will not be read! Serious candidates only please! Contact us via our email address shown

From Careerbuilder...this is all that was on the page:

Description

Word Processing
DOCUMENT

Source - Philadelphia Newspapers, Inc

Requirements

Please refer to the Job Description to view the requirements for this job

See Job Description for Contact Information

In a job description on Monster.com:

Our company is a based in Wilmington, Delaware, a vibrant, growing city located midway between New York and Washington and just two hours from the shores of the Atlantic Ocean.

The only words I've changed are the first two.

1--I'm sorry, I must be confused...that, or those folks are smoking some great weed and not sharing. As a whole, from what I've seen, Wilmington is a toilet.

2--Poor sentence construction. We're all guilty of it at times, but come on! This is an advertisement of your company...would you be willing to hire me as an editor/proofreader?

"Can you hear me now?"

Ever wonder how to get one of those jobs wandering around asking that question?

Quote:

CA-ON-Toronto/GTA-CDMA Handset Test Engineer

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CDMA Handset Test Engineer - Job Description

***** Position Location - Toronto, Canada *****

Responsible for overseeing and conducting technical evaluation activities associated with new CDMA mobile phone product (and associated accessories and software tools) launch, as well as post-launched technical issues.

Department Statement:
Samsung Telecommunications America (STA) is supplying major U.S. carriers with the most advanced wireless handsets available including Code Division Multiple Access (CDMA) Personal Communications Service (PCS) handsets, CDMA cellular handsets, and wireless phones that combine analog and Cellular Digital Packet Data (CDPD) technologies through its Wireless Terminals Division. The companys goal is to be one of the top three CDMA cellular wireless mobile phone suppliers in the United States by 2003.

Products Include:
- Wireless Handsets
- Accessories

Job Duties:
- Set-up and conduct automated and / or manual test systems -- parametric and protocol testings on IS95 A/B, IS2000 & 1xEV terminal products (per IS98 C/D specs) for the purpose submission of evaluation samples to customers, submission to Type Approval and IOT labs, and customer returned post-launched units.
- Develop test plan as new features and technologies are implemented. Be the technical advisor on test systems as a result of technology evolution and adoption of new features (e.g. investigate test solutions on location services, AMR, EDGE, TTY, etc.)
- Conduct test cases per standard test plan (including CDG Stage 3 test). Evaluate test tools and accessories software associated with new products (e.g., DM/PST tools, modem/USB drivers, etc.)
- Review test results and communicate analysis to management and Korean R&D Teams for resolution of problems found.
- Also serves as the "spokesperson" on test results to customers on findings.
- Investigate any discrepancy between Samsung and customer test results, research and understand customer test methodology and set up for the purpose of minimizing / eliminating test result discrepancies.
- Serve as technical project prime on assigned products to manage the tracking issue list and verification of bug fixes.
- Access and identify the amount of Field Test Engineering resource required for each test activity to ensure acurate input to Product Management for their schedule planning. Make recommendation to Product Management team on the readiness of product in each stage of customer approval process.
- Represent Samsung and attend appropriate CDG committee/sub-group (e.g., System Test Group). Advise and recommend management of any necessary course of action as a result of industrial development relating to system test.

Qualifications:
- A Bachelors Degree in engineering or equivalent
- Must be familiar with IS95A/B, IS2000 (Rev 0 & A), IS98 C/D and other CDMA related standards (IS683A/637B/835/707A, etc.)
- Familiarity with BREW, JAVA, 1xEVDO/DV - considered a plus !!
- Must have hands-on experience in RF test equipment/components and instrumentation typically used in CDMA mobile phone testing
- Experience with Programming using Labview or equivlence via serial and/or GPIB interface - considered a plus !!
- Applicant must have good basic knowledge in operating computers (basic Windows OS skills) installing / uninstalling software
- Must have good inter-personal skills and experience in interfacing with customers
- Must have demonstrated ability in learning and working independently with minimal supervision
- Applicants with the ability to write DM scripts on Qualcomm CDMA chipset - considered a plus !!
- Applicants with general knowledge in basic radio design (transceiver) - considered a plus !!
- Must have good technical project management skills
Closing:
** Samsung offers an environment that is full of Opportunity, Diversity, Innovation and Creativity **

Cross the line to Samsung. We offer extensive, rewarding benefits and compensation as well as a culture that thrives on individuality.

Here are some of the benefits available to full-time employees:

- Health/Dental/Vision Plans
- 401(k) Savings/Retirement Plan
- Personal Time Off (PTO) Hours
- Paid Holidays
- Short/Long Term Disability
- Life Insurance
- Physical Fitness Reimbursement
- Educational Assistance Program
- ** Annual ** Incentive Plans
- Employee Purchase Discounts
- Business Casual Dress

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer

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Additional Information
Position Type: Full Time, Employee

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Contact Information
tdavis@sta.samsung.com
Samsung Telecommunications America

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Click here to see all "Samsung Telecommunications America" opportunities

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Receptionist/Switchboard - A Proven Success at Improving Lives!

Yes...maybe...just maybe...if I am kind to that person on the phone, it will change their life forever.

Odd Todd ... and be sure to watch Episode 2, as well. :D

On monster.com yesterday:

Genetic Counselor - Were you work says a lot about who you are.

This shit blows my mind. You're putting this out to millions of job seekers, and you can't even use the right word! You know what they say about first impressions...

The sad thing is...this probably slipped by a lot of people.

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore

This shit blows my mind. You're putting this out to millions of job seekers, and you can't even use the right word! You know what they say about first impressions...The sad thing is...this probably slipped by a lot of people.

The *really* sad thing is the hiring companies don't give a shit. They don't have to make a good impression; there's millions of unemployed people out there who will take a job whether the ad is well-written or not.

And thy will hire the cheapest responder...where do you think they got the person who wrote the ad?

Quote:

And thy will hire the cheapest responder...where do you think they got the person who wrote the ad?

hmmmm

Let me guess.

Sorry, Maggie. You're aksing for it.

Quote:

Originally posted by Nic Name

Sorry, Maggie. You're aksing for it.

Careful...if I loose my temper, the affects could be awefull, for all intensive purposes. You get what I'm inferring? A sharp blow too you're head, witch will hurt allot, irregardless.:-)

Okay, so we've established that either Maggie or Jag wrote that job description. :)

Still, that's pretty sad...if I were the CEO of that company, I'd be embarrassed.

Company in Huntingdon Valley, PA is seeking and experienced
Administrative Assistant to handle general and advanced office
duties.

Had this job paid better, I might have grudgingly applied for it.

A change of pace?

This is an entry level position that will allow time for learning and adjusting. It is not a fast paced office

What a crock:

Management Trainee LIMP BIZKIT ATTITUDE Nat'l Art Co. has 10-12 immed. pos. avail. for crazy fun people from sales to mgmt. If you like money, fun, loud music, and are not making at least $500 a week and would like to, call 856-857-9055, ext 22, for the perfect career. No experience necessary.