No, not yet. Just wondering if it's time for me to implement my double-secret fantasy of disappearing off the face of the earth.

That's been every day of my life for me then - yay!
Even at my worst, all I felt is profoundly disappointed that I made it through the night, and panic at another day to get through.

Of course at my worst, the plan was always to scrape enough money to get to the off licence in order to drink myself back to sleep in as short a time as possible.

My suicidal thoughts always, ALWAYS came at night.

One of my favourite childhood series was What Katy Did... And in one of them (What Katy Did at School I think) the phrase "morning brings counsel" was used. It's a quaint expression, but I've used it to get through many a bad night, nights I doubt Susan Coolidge ever envisiged.

One of her poems, which I used to have on my desk when the dark days were still light enough that I was working, yet murky enough that I needed it:

New Every Morning

Every morning is a fresh beginning,
Listen my soul to the glad refrain.
And, spite of old sorrows
And older sinning,
Troubles forecasted
And possible pain,
Take heart with the day and begin again.

Morning

I will leave judgment as to whether its good or bad until later.

I'm glad I'm too old to bother with suicidal thoughts.

Good morning! Well......technically speaking it's good afternoon, but I have only been up for an hour:) I am having a complete day off today. No work, no study, no meetings to attend, not taking calls and not dealing with emails :) yey.



I'm like Sundae, my bleakest thoughts tend to be at night time. Or maybe when I first wake up but that tends to send me back to sleep....when I actually get up I am usually in a reasonable mood:)