also, the Oh Yuck books (Oh, Yuck, the Encyclopedia of Everything Nasty, and there's a history one, too) are great for that age, girl or boy. I can't read 'em (too gross) but the kids love 'em!

The beauty of the dragonfly is that both sexes love kit, so it doesn't matter if it's a girly girl, a tomboy or even a boy (:lol:)... whatever
damn I really should work for them.....

Hebe (9yoD) chose that as her Science Fair "reward" book. She loves it.

also a good boy and girl gift

i had suggested a journal for her to write in - girls at that age may enjoy things like that (diary) also, giving a gift card. most of our credit unions around here offer "VISA" gift cards that can be used anywhere. obviously these make great "C" gifts.

I'm thinking like Big V.

An instrument, or clothes and jewelry.

Beestie has great ideas too and SD's idea about polly pockets.

Games

A party! most definatly.

Maybe at a roller rink even with pizza and party hats and glow bracelets.

Or a garden party with a pinata of course! Make sure the stuff inside is ultra cool to make her cool.

The trouble with parties is, they require friends. And to put it bluntly, she has none--in this city. She's effectively only here 2 days a month, the rest of the time she lives in Houston with her mother. She will have a fun birthday party with her school friends in Houston, rest assured, but here it's just us and some relatives from this side of her family.

then I suggest making a princess castle out of some pretty fabric to hang from the ceiling. Inside there is a small sitting place..perhaps funky chunky kids jewelry, a tiara, a mirror with lights all around. Even lights on the outside of the space.

I'm thinking since she isn't there that much then maybe to create a very special place just for her. More than presents it's the exaulted level on her birthday to a position of a very special person? plus little girly girls love that kind of thing. If she isn't that girly you could modify it to whatever she is into. Like zoo animals and have the tent part be jungle motif and fill it with stuffed animals and rubber snakes. see?

I am thinking theme fort or princess castle made from a simple fabric and filling it up inside to make a special place just for her.

?

What's your budget?

I still say a Dragonfly rocks.

Hebe got a Nintendo DS whe she turned 10 (from all her grandparents combined -we don't do big present spending. She adores it, but it's not exactly high up on the educational value scale.

Maybe you could invite some of her friends from her home town to come out and visit with her and have an elongated sleepover party?

You forget, we got her the dragonfly on your recommendation last year. :) She loved it, BTW.

The thing about her friends from Houston is, their mothers are at least semi-friends with her mother, and thus... not going to be fans of us.

I know, I'm a big Negative Nelly, always shooting down everyone's ideas. :)

OK I blasted past all the replies and sorry if someone already posted this, but the first thing Inoticed is that you mentioned she has tons of stuff in her room.

W/o getting all pop psych on you there is a good book called something like the five love languages. the gist of it is that everyone expresses and perceives love in a different way. For example, some people may feel most loved when they get a gift and someone else may feel loved when you spend time with them or another may feel loved when you talk with them.

Personally, I don't really care about getting presents. They're ok, but they don't really blow my skirt up. I'd rather go out and do something fun, have an adventure, stuff like that.

My wife likes me to listen to her with rapt attention. That makes her feel like I really love her. She'd rather I do that than have a big celebration and presents on her birthday.

Maybe what your daughter would like for her birthday isn't something that can be bought.

OK I read all the posts and this time I noticed that the thread is almost a year old so the good news is her 10th birthday is coming up. But I keep seeing that this girl doesn't seem like a material girl. (sorry) As for no local friends, maybe she isn't into that either. I'd say read that five love languages book, they guy wrote a version about kids as well. They are quick reads, give you some ideas and small insights. They aren't life changing or anything but I found them helpful at least in realizing that not everyone experiences the feeling of being loved the same way.

Oh, definitely. She's not into material things much at all. And that's fine, we like to spend the time we have with them actually interacting with them, rather than sending them off to play with stuff by themselves. But she wants to like things--she has clearly and specifically expressed jealousy at how much her brother likes his toys. She doesn't want his toys, mind you, she wants something that she will like as much as he likes his Transformers. What we need to do long-term is help her accept that it's okay to just enjoy the things that make her happy, but she's still too competitive for that so far. She literally would not want a fun day out doing something if it means her brother will see her get no "things" for her birthday. Sibling rivalry does not even begin to describe it. To be honest, that's one of the subconscious reasons she's going to love the toaster that makes pictures--because she'll like it herself to a reasonable degree, but also because her brother will want pictures on his toast too, and she will be thrilled to allow him, because it will be an acknowledgement from him that this is a cool thing she has.

This whole dance we try to do backfired over Christmas, however: one of the things we got her was a little remote-control car, because A.) she liked the remote-control dragonfly so much, and B.) Minifob loved chasing the thing around in the store, so it would very much fit into her enjoyment of playing with him. She would have loved it, I know she would... except it turns out her younger brother already has the exact same toy in Houston. So she hated it.

Yeah that is complex. I suppose it's out of the question to have a birthday for her w/o her younger bro?

Some friends of ours had a party at an indoor climbing wall. You know how to do that right?

Well, good luck, but if she can spend a brother-less day that may be the best present of all. (especially if she can watch his face as she says neener neener as you all drive away to have FUN.)

Sorry, I forgot you did get the dragonfly. Hmmm..... One of those lockable journals? they seem to be doing the rounds at girls parties here