just don't start calling him: MudMonkey boy.
:p

last winter before my surgery, I had been taking Oxycodone for pain. One of the side effects of this is constipation, I had not had a movement in nearly a month.
needless to say I s**t a brick. It was the size of two 12oz soda cans side by side, not pleasant. "OUCH"

I used to think that competitive or exhibitionist bowel moving was purely a male domain. Until I was in a nightclub in Watford (don't go to Watford, trust me) and there was one left on the seat in the Ladies....

Still - I've definitely known more men to boast of their or their friends "achievements".

Two lads I knew when I was eighteen took a year off between school and Uni to travel round Australia. They didn't get any further than Sydney and came home early complaining that the beer was crap. My pretty low opinion of them sank to rock bottom because the trip had mostly been bankrolled by their parents - I would have loved the opportunity to do it. Wasters.

Anyway - the most animation I ever saw on their faces was when they told the story of leaving the house they were renting rooms in. They skipped out owing money on rent and bills, and - this is the really funny part - both of them took a dump in the garage. I realised at this point my opinion could sink lower.

I mean what sort of weird mind thinks this sort of thing up?

Sounds like something from Ronco: and it really really works! But wait, there's more.

That must be what they had in the hotel I stayed in at conference though. It's like a vacuum hole opens up in the earth and pulls have the room in with it. It was so loud it scared the hell out of me the first couple of times...but I can see it being more efficient.


Ali: I love your poo definitions. My younger brother is going to crap, er..uh. laugh!