I forget, was the bad lie about the bad place? ;)

Oh no, the bad place is where you get it, if you get caught in a bad lie ...that's not on the golf course. ;)

What I think a lot of people aren't seeing here is the cultural difference, and I'm sure if BN did get caught in the lie, his family and boss are probably making him miserable for it. I have a friend who is Taiwanese but lives in the US, and there are huge limits on what decisions he gets to make for himself because of his parents' expectations. His parents live in Hawaii, so he can get away with some things, but they have told him, in so many words, that he shouldn't even bother dating a white girl because they won't allow him to marry one. Another Chinese friend (American, living in good ole Texas) was crazy in love with his white girlfriend but in the end broke up with her and married a Chinese girl... all to appease his parents.

I know that American culture (as well as other countries) embraces independence upon adulthood, and it's unacceptable to think that your parents would still dictate the major life decisions in your life at 25 or older, but it's just as unthinkable in Chinese culture to disregard your parents' wishes. Parents have a very, very strong influence on their children throughout adulthood, so what everyone here proposes, while acceptable everywhere else, would deeply shame his family and be a huge show of disrespect.

BN, I feel for you. I will feel for you even more when they start trying to decide for you who you're going to marry...

Well, AgentApathy....he's going to have to make a break with tradition, even if it means changing his philosophy on Chinese customs and values, or be sucked into self loathing for the rest of his life. :(