In the South, we say "fixin' to" meaning "about to" or, roughly, "preparing to" - as in "I'm fixin' to post this..."

Really? I used that phrase with a young Scottish woman and she had never heard it.

How about "bought the farm"?

aheh. like I say, it's very regional. I've heard it used as in "Can I fix you a drink?"

Bought the farm. I love that one. I'd like to know the derivation of that phrase.

We tend to say-
About as pointless as Tits on a Bulldog - unnecessary
or as useful as Tits on a Bulldog - unhelpful

Although I think the paper bag jokes started as male, I've heard the phrase Double Bagger used differently by women
It describes a man who sleeps around - ie you wouldn't risk sex with him unless he was using two condoms (double bagged)

East Jabip, Podunk, the sticks, Hicksville = somewhere remote, possibly with fewer hallmarks of civilization.
Sack up, man up, cowboy up = gather up one's courage for a daunting task.

The phrase that drives me nuts - it's a very Southern US thing and unfortunately I picked it up from living in North Carolina for 5 years is: might could.

Example: We might could go to the store.

EHHH, I hate it, but I catch myself doing it.

We say tits on a boar.

ashtray on a motorbike over there, innit?

pissed ----> shit faced
piss off -----> go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut

kick the bucket?

As a friend of mine used to say "Ashtray's a girl's name".

We say tits on a bull here

Up the creek without a paddle
or in some versions (my mom's)
Up poopoo creek without a paddle

Cut the cheese (don't know how american it is)

Don't have a cow.

Up the creek without a paddle, is used here but I suspect is borrowed from America.