The girl at the office may have smoked her in the parking lot when she caught them going at it out there. Sounds like a very young woman's angles on the whole situation. Experience is the only thing that teaches most people these lessons.

I'm not in the mood to be eloquent and my break at work is almost over so I'll be breif:

Drop that sonovabitch like the poisionous snake he is! You are in a clearly abusive relationship and are playing second fiddle to someone else, run while you still can unless you think you can get rich on the divorce deal!

(ok, that last was cruel of me...)

lilly....just gotta say I agree 100% with all the great advice you've been given here....he does sound controlling and uncaring...I think when you take a good hard look at the changes that have taken place in you over the last five years, you will see things even more clearly. It is not healthy to be unhappy all the time, and you dropped all of your friends!?......I'm sure you have an old friend who cares a lot, maybe you should consider asking someone like that what changes they have seen in you since this relationship started, and what they think. (I know that helped me once to hear what others were seeing in me...)
Good luck! DO NOT MARRY THIS GUY!!!

I ask you this... knowing EVERYTHING that you know, especially the stuff we do not, the stuff you don't want to tell us, what advice would you give someone else? Right now, without time to think about it, she is walking out the door to talk to him.

Stuff like this only worsens as time continues and a relationship endures the stresses of normal life. If he is acting this way now, I can't imagine how things would get better later on. One question - Is this how you want to be treated for the rest of your life?