an old one that I was reminded of by a cartoon posted on facebook:


So, I was sitting in the bar the other night, and this bombshell saunters in. She's got huge low slung boobs cradled in a low cut silk evening gown, legs up to here, and full rounded hips that would make men crash cars.

She runway walks straight toward me, and sits in the seat next to me. I was quite breathless by now. After a few moments and several stolen glances my way, she leans over to me and asks, "Hey, you smell really nice.... What do you have on?"

I said, without thinking, " A hard-on, but I didn't think you could smell it!"

she slapped me.

HA!

So, these two guys are walkin down the street. One guy turns to the other guy and says "Have you seen your shoes?"

"No," replied the second guy. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," said the first guy "THEY'RE ON YOUR FEET."

(And that's when the second guy bludgeoned the first guy to death.)

:lol2:

Do I laugh now?

Depends.

When did you laugh at the other jokes? ;)

Usually right after everyone else starts.

I've tried to provide appropriate cues. That way, even if the joke isn't funny, you'll know when to laugh.

Can we get a Cellar laugh track? Because that would be cool.

You're right depends would be funnier than shoes.

patience...


:D

Oh seriously, the really sort of funny thing is there was no punch line or 'a-ha' moment in my joke.

It was more of a commentary on the state of jokes in this country. Not really, either.

It's inexplicable! :smack:

:D

I worked with a guy once who loved to do this:

"hey, check out these shoes!"

and you would have to reply, 'nice shoes, Sam.'

and he would say, "Know where I got 'em?"

'no?'

"I got 'em on my feet!" and he'd laugh and laugh. weirdo.

:lol:

Weirdo indeed. ;)

I still get people with my "Hey, did you know I can stand on my hands?" Then I play it up. People get interested. I say it's been a few years, and I've had a couple few beers, but I think I can do it. Some are protesting such a silly move, and others are watching to see me break my neck. :lol:

So after a few apprehensive attempts, starts and stops, nervous acting, I finally bring my arms up and back, for the big swing, take a couple steps back...the crowd is freaking....then I bring my hands down to the ground and stand on them. I don't stand on my hands so much as I stand on them. ;) Feet on hands. Taaa daaaaaa!

Crowd pleaser. I don't know where I stole that joke from. :p:

Perhaps a video is in order.

:lol2:

ETA: I did that to Momdigr just now...I laughed and laughed.