I hope you feel better soon.

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame,
two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams

cm, I like that quote so much, I am thinking of changing my IRC tagline from "Ezekiel 23:19-20" to that. LOL

One of my favorite quotes from "1776" (although it's changed a little).

She’s single…
She lives right across the street.
I can see her house from my family room.
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.
She knocked on my door…

I rushed to open it.

She looks at me, and says, “I just got home, and I am so horny!
I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!
Are you busy tonight?”

I immediately replied, “Nope, I’m free… I have no plans at all!”

Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?”

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she replied. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes I remember." "Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.
"Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes I do", she replied. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"You know I would have gotten out today."

...

....

.

That'd be funnier if wasn't true.

This one as well Grav ...

reminds me of that note that I found in a deal....

'do not deposit this check
customer will replace it with
a Cash Years check when they
pick up the car.

-Juan'

reminds me of this old classic
Attachment 37056

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

Sick, sick, sick - but :D