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The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account
10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?" 9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you. 8. Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly. 7. When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!" 6. You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store. 5. Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change. 4. You now have 130,000 ClubTop5 subscriptions and the list moderator is on the cover of Business Week. 3. Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" e-mail from your Mom. 2. Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived. 1. "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately." |
If it is true that you are what you eat then I am....
.... a pussy. |
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room?
A: One... If you throw it hard enough |
Pick the odd one out: a woman, a washing machine, a toaster and the garden hose?
The toaster, the rest leak when they're fucked. |
how did canada get its name?
You take a C eh, and an N eh, and you take a D eh |
view from a black man in a well
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Q: Why does the bride always wear white?
A: Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. |
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Q: Why do men have assholes?
A: So they won't be total pricks. |
Q: What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
A: They both used their brains to paint the ceiling. |
... did.
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That was awful - but it made me laugh!
I told my daughter, she's in the shower now and I can still hear her giggling. |
How are Michael Phelps and Hitler different?
Phelps can finish a race. |
There was a news report that
the flood in Pakistan was the act of a Suicide Plumber |
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