The Cellar - Humor...I Need Humor...

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)

- Home Base (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=2)

- - Humor...I Need Humor... (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=4788)

:lol:

Nicely played!

Seen elsewhere on the net...

Quote:

Let's see...Bush co-owned the Rangers from 1988 to 1998 (after they lost to the Yankees in the playoffs) - 11 seasons in which they largely sucked (made playoffs twice, lost in first round both times).

12 years later, they're in the World Series.

So, now we know. It takes 12 years to recover from Bush leadership.

Why aren't you bitching that Pete's joke should be in the political humor thread?

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 692008)

Why aren't you bitching that Pete's joke should be in the political humor thread?

I looked for it (some). I didn't see it.

Wasn't directed at you, Pete. I really don't care. I thought it was funny.

Shouldn't that be in the sports humor thread?

Quote:

Pete Zicato
Now where did I put that...

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 692008)

Why aren't you bitching that Pete's joke should be in the political humor thread?

What part of PICTURES don't you understand. :eyebrow:

You must have missed her bitching at me when the joke was about Obama.

That wasn't my concern, several people have inserted political jokes from time to time. I was pointing out we have a thread for the political "humor" pictures.

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 692049)

You must have missed her bitching at me when the joke was about Obama.

Please link.

There is a thread for the political pictures, and I think its been asked repeatedly that this thread not get political. Political jokes one way or another contribute to that. Sure, its impossible not to offend certain people, but just try to keep the flame wars contained.

Since this thread is for jokes:

http://zs1.smbc-comics.com/comics/20101026.gif

Ah! I have lost the count of "Customers will buy a more powerful server".

A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says, ‘I’m going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, ’99′.

The guy obeys and says, ’99′.

The doctor says, ‘Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, ’99.’

Again, the guy says, ’99.’

The doctor said, ‘Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I’m going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I’m going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.

Now take a deep breath and say, ’99.’

The guy begins, ‘One .. Two ….. Three’.

Mr. Perkins come down to my place this mornin', and asked me if I would build him a new privy.

I said, "Mr. Perkins, where was you aimin' for to build it?"

He said, "To the side of the lot, by the lilacs. And that'll be real pleasant in the spring."

Well I said, "Mr. Perkins, It's your privy."

And I got so far as the floor-boards when Mr Perkins come out and he said,

"Sy, I've been thinkin' some more about this privy. And if it's to the side of the lot by the lilacs, it's gonna be awful far in the winter. If it was over this side of the lot by the chestnuts, it'd be much more convenient in them cold winter months."

Well I said, "Mr. Perkins, It's your privy."

Well I got so far as the roofin' and Mr. Perkins come out and he said,

"Sy, I've been thinkin' some more about this privy of mine. And it seems to me if it's this side of the lot by the chestnuts, what with the prevailing wind being south south-west, and the house standin' just nor nor-east of that privy, it's gonna be awful uncomfortable for the lady folks in the kitchen during the summer months. So I think if we had this privy half-way between the lilacs and the chestnuts, then neither would it be too far in the winter nor too close in the summer."

Well I said, "Mr. Perkins, It's your privy."

Well I got so far as what you might call the interior decorating, when Mr. Perkins come out, and he was all het up.

And he said, "Consarn it Sy! I told you from the very start that I wanted a two-hole privy and there you've gone ahead and framed it up as a one-holer."

Well I said, "Mr. Perkins, It's your privy and I don't want to seem to be dictating to you or nothing like that, but it seemed to me that if I'd framed it up as a two holer, and you'd come out to it some night shall we say 'Pressed for Time'... before you made up your mind which one of them two holes to set on it'd be too late, that's all."