|
Nope. They should run faster next time.
I also don't feel sorry for the frogs who lose their legs for fancy resturants. Will you be donating to "The Dollies For Froggies" Foundation? |
Yes.
Do you think the Gates Foundation would contribute? |
No, they like frogs' legs
Does anybody eat the rest of the frog? |
Hell no. I wouldn't eat the legs to begin with, either.
Why eat frog's legs when chicken legs have so much more meat on them? |
Yes. No. I mean...why eat anything on the bone period?
Ever had a bad experience with a chicken leg? |
No
Does a chicken have lips? |
Yes. The better to kiss you with, my dear.
Can a woodchuck chuck wood? |
No!
Does a butter fly? Does a picket fence? |
Yes. No.
Would Jesus be a vegetarian? |
yes. According to his Hitler-ish disciple, PAUL, he would be.
Do you hate the disciple Paul? |
no, not hate
Thomas is my favorite. Is he yours too? |
No, I doubt it.
Do you think there were 12 deciples so that they could eventually do calendars? |
Yes.
Plus the group rate on the donkey rental. When Jesus returns, will he want to see all those crosses? |
Yes. He may want to wax nostalgic.
Do you think he will gather up all the cross splinters that were sold in necklaces? |
Yes
Does Paul reming you of your seventh grade math teacher? Beuhler? Beuhler? |
No.
Did you ever take a day off like Ferris? |
Yes - I was in the US military, operating in the fringe of a Central American country, when I took off for the capital city. Senior, in-country, US conventional military commanders became highly perturbed and were talking courts martial. Fortunately, I had country-wide temporary duty orders; so, I wasn't under their jurisdiction. Later back stateside, I explained to my actual boss [spec. ops.] that I had designated my replacement for that day and took off to celebrate the occasion of my 30th birthday! The boss smiled, said that he didn't like those particular in-country commanders anyway, and blew the whole thing off!! I owe it all to Ferris!!! :D
Have you ever had a close call? |
Yes. Shortly after I got my driver's license, I was weaving in and out of traffic. All proud of my skill. As I approached a red light, I swerved over to a lane that had fewer cars in it. The car in front of me was slowing down more abruptly than I anticipated, and when I swerved to another lane, I came within an inch or two of clipping it's rear at a pretty high speed. I immediately realized that I was acting like an idiot, and I stopped driving like I owned the road. Now I'm a safe driver.
Have you ever mutilated or otherwise destroyed a book? |
Yes, cut out a hole in the middle of a hard-back to hide my stash, when I a teenager.
Do you save magazines after you read them? |
No.
Do you want this old Oprah mag? |
No.
But do you have a copy of Highlights for Children? |
No.
Is it ridiculously hot where you are? |
Yes.
Are you bothered by the Woody Allen/Scarlett Johanssan thing? |
No.
Should I pay more attention to the celebrities? |
No. They get too much already.
Are you going on a vacation this summer? |
No.
Do you like seafood? |
No. I like Salmon, Tuna, Haddock, Halibut, etc...but no crustaceans!
Do you think it's impossible that I was a mermaid in my past life? |
No.
Will my increasingly corporate job eventually drive me postal? |
Yes.
Will I be able to find a non-corporate job that will pay me decently? |
Yes!
Will my colon need resectioned? |
No, then it would be a semicolon
Do you mind having something poking up your ass? |
No, but prodding Uranus would be OK.
Do you approve of interplanetary relationships? |
Yes, when the moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars ...
Will you fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars, let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars? |
No
Will you shoot the moon? |
No.
Can we put off starting this weekend's orgy until tomorrow? I'm too tired :blush: |
sure
Have you ever had sex with more than three people in one night? |
No (am I missing something?)
If you had a perfect body, would you strip for huge amounts of cash? |
yes.
Have you ever gone to a strip club? |
Yeah.
Ever gone dancing at a gay bar? |
Yes.
Have you ever danced with someone of the same sex? |
No.
Has anyone of the same sex asked you to dance? |
Yes.
Has anyone ever asked you to buy *them* a drink? |
No.
Have you ever been kissed unwillingly while you were almost unconscious by someone of the same sex? |
No - I was conscious.
Have you ever wanted to kiss someone of the same sex? |
No
Have you been kissed in the last 24 hours? |
No.
Did you have someone that you wanted to kiss? |
Yes.
Have you ever just lit out for the territories? |
No
Have you ever started a forest fire? |
No
Have you met Smokey the Bear? |
Hell yes, I AM Smokey the Bear! Or at least Stampy the Rhino.
Can you start a fire with flint and steel? |
I most certainly can, assuming the steel is in the form of a thumbwheel and the flint is pressed against it with a small spring, and there's a reservoir of butane which is released with the push of a small button.
Can you start a fire with sticks? |
ouch!
|
Quote:
Have you ever in your life been flexible enough to put your feet behind your head? |
Yes, but don't ask for the pictures.
Can you stick it in your ear? |
Yes, I can stick a Q-tip in my ear but there is a warning on the package.
Have you ever almost killed yourself using heavy equipment? |
Not this week, but yes.
Have you ever felt like, "aw just fuck it"? |
Yup.
Then her husband came home. Have you ever tried to get dressed in a dark closet with a pocket full of change and an angry husband with a shotgun on the other side of the door? |
no. why arent you on a milk carton?
|
yes, no?
Has Sun been away too long and forgotten how to play? :p |
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