My 1st grader announced the other night that the Bailey's Irish Cream we were drinking looked and smelled like paint.

Smart kid.

"Yeah, kid... enjoy your childhood while you can. When you grow up you too will be so pathetic you drink stuff that tastes like paint."

I nearly made my stepson cry when I once suggested to him that when he was an adult, he would probably actually like some vegetables. He found it tragic that he would someday become such a clearly disgusting person.

A little girl was in the pub on Sunday. Her Mum asked her what was obviously a familiar question
- What do little boys have
- Willies!
- What do little girls have?
- Handbags!

I have no idea whether handbag is a euphemism her Mother uses, or whether it was just her understanding of what the question was asking. Either way she gave both answers with such gusto it really made me laugh.

That is funny.

SG, I'm confused, do you work in a not for profit pub?

SG.....that's entirely what I would expect a little lady over there to say.
Thanks for validating. ;)

Minifob has a laminated placemat of famous landmarks. His favorite?

"Mount Crushmore."

The girl is two, and developing her advanced bossing skills.
"Foofa. SAY IT. Say it, Papa. AGAIN. Say it AGAIN, Papa."
Repeat for every word-for-something that she can think of.

Out of the blue, SonofV offers this:

"Being responsible and living on your own is harder than I thought..."

"Oh?! What are you having trouble with?"

"Cleaning."

My best friend's seven year old was hanging around us adults chit chatting about this that and the other one afternoon... Out of nowhere he pipes up "My daddy's willie has HAIR!" We looked at each other... and just fell out laughing. It was a good twenty minutes before we could breathe well enough for her to explain why that is not a mixed-company topic of conversation... nor a public one. :)

For American History class, Miss Dallas had to complete a worksheet on the presidential election. There was on column each for McCain and Obama. They were supposed to fill in several boxes under each column--political experience, other jobs, family, education, etc. Miss Dallas had filled up the box for family on one side and finished it off writing in the margin. I was giving her a hard time about it, and she said, "I couldn't fit John McCain's freakishly large family in one box!!"

Nope - I work full time for a not for profit Arts company, and two shifts (and often more) in a proper old fashioned London boozer that is run very much on proper old fashioned capitalist lines. It's also where I live for the next week, until I move and I'll be sad to go - it's been sold.

Last week while the boys and I were staying at my Dad's place and I had a cold, my kids snuck into my room while I was sleeping and recorded me snoring with my mobile phone, then they set it as my ringtone.

It was a pretty funny little stunt. lol They were proud of themselves.

That is fucking hilarious. Those kids are enterprising.

Yes, yes they are. ;) Actually, it was probably my oldest boys idea. I'm sure Mav just went along for the ride. lol Dad thought it was pretty funny.