Someone shot Magic Johnson??

no
not yet

was L.B. Johnson ever shot?

No

Was Nixon ever shot?

NO, although he should have been.

Do you think Jr. deserves to be shot?

No. Not again. JR was shot once already. It was a whole cliffhanger thing.

Is there a question pending?

No

Can the law of conservation of matter and energy be applied to economics?

Absolutely not, because both sides of a free transaction perceive an increase in value, not a conservation, and that is pretty much the whole point.

Any reason to pay any attention to the Phils this year?

No, I never pay attention to the Phils any year(who are they anyway? Relatives of Prince Philip?)

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight?

No.

When you get up in the morning will it be too hard to bite?

ahem... Yes -- Shades of Priapus!

Are you a morning person?

no
(its too early to drink

Do you drink before 5:00 PM?

Yes. Often.

Ever get drunk in a Texas bar?

every chance i get.

what was that substance you poured over me last night?

Yes or no questions please.

Have you ever been close to dying?

yes.

will that substance you poured over me last night wash off?