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Just lately there was a short news item in the neighborhood paper. Evidently some pranksters broke in to the local police station and stole all the bathroom fixtures.
A spokesperson from the department said they were not making a lot of progress in the case since they had nothing to go on. |
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Fixed it.
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BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH SPIT WARNING!
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Image #3 is a real product, image #4 is from http://xkcd.com/.
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Yeh - I'm feeling too lazy to go find and put them in different threadsssssss
I threw 'em all here - enjoy ... or not. |
Granddad was reminiscing about the good old days..........
"When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar. I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs. You can't do that now. Too many security cameras." |
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gangster
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Rick Astley asked to borrow some Pixar movies. I said "You can have Toy Story and WALL-E, but I'm never gonna give you Up."
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DISCUSSION EXPLANATION
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. |
The Man Rules
We always hear " the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side . These are our rules! Please note? these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Man’s relaxation time: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. WE’RE NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT OPRAH OR DR PHIL THINK. WE ALSO DON’T CARE WHAT A “NORMAL” PERSON WOULD DO. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one : Subtle hints do not work ! Strong hints do not work ! Obvious hints do not work ! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That 's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact , all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are . Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials, and not WHENEVER RUSH IS ON. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is a MELON. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, ALMOST anything you wear is fine... Really . 1.. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round or OVAL IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. |
That's funny, Spud
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